
Class By ST 6^ 

Book, P 7./^ 3 

GopyrightN" 

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 



AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY 



BY 



Anna W. Prosser 
n 



THE EVANGEL PUBLISHING HOUSE 

3616 Prairie Avenue, Chicago, U. S. A. 

1911 






COPYRIGHT BY 

ANNA W. PROSSER, 
1901. 

COPYRIGHT BY 

WM. HAMNER PIPER, 
1911. 



Price, One Dollar; Postage, 10c (4s 7d.) 
$ 1 . OX 
©CI.A303278 



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PREFACE. 

(To First Edition.) 




HIS simple record of my life has been 
written under many difficulties, in the 
midst of pressing duties, and with such 
frequent interruptions and long delays that 
my heart almost shrinks from sending it 
forth to meet the eye of a critical public. 
But as it does not seem likely that any opportunity will 
offer at present to revise it, I issue it, at the request of 
many friends, followed by the earnest prayer that God 
may graciously overrule its faults for the advancement of 
His truth and for the glory of His name. 

Buffalo, March 9, 1901. Anna W. Prosser. 



CONTENTS 



Preface iii 

Introduction vii 

I. My Childhood's Home 9 

II. A Wrong Step 19 

III. Saved and Healed 31 

IV. Sowing the Seed 42 

V. Fiery Trials 54 

VI. New Scenes .61 

VII. A Lesson on Committal 84 

VIII. My Pentecost 96 

IX. Healing Purchased by the Blood 109 

X. Healing Purchased by the Blood (Concluded) .... 123 

XI. My Suburban Home 135 

XII. In the Furnace 149 

XIII. A Three-Fold Guidance 155 

XIV. Remarkable Experiences 167 

XV. The Death of Self 179 

XVI. The Bride and the Bridegroom 188 

XVII. "Not A Sparrow Falleth" 209 

XVIII. Asleep in Jesus 219 

vl 




INTRODUCTION. 

(To Second Edition.) 

RENDER, sacred memories flood my soul as I 
write by request, an introduction to this book 
by my beloved friend and co-worker, Miss 
Anna W. Prosser. Miss Prosser's remark- 
able healing occurred before my own ; but I 
had not heard of it until after the Lord had marvelously 
raised me from my dying bed. Miss Prosser had been 
standing alone up to that time. My healing greatly en- 
couraged her to give positive and definite testimony about 
her own healing, and also to take an advanced step in 
service for the Lord. My first public work after my heal- 
ing was in connection with a Temperance Mission in 
Buffalo, where Miss Prosser and I together led an even- 
ing meeting each week. From this little beginning, our 
ministry greatly enlarged as we were enabled (she a 
Presbyterian, and I an Episcopalian) to cast ourselves 
upon the Lord and to trust His Spirit to give us utter- 
ance. 

It was my privilege to be with her a good deal of the 
time when she was united to her father again after the 
tragic death of his second wife, and I saw her as she 
ministered so tenderly to her aged and afflicted parent, 
and lived her beautiful, consecrated life before him. I 
was with her much again after that home had once more 
been closed upon her, and could truly say that the Lord's 
grace never failed. Whether she abounded or w^as abased, 
Christ was always her exceeding great reward. It was 

vll 



INTRODUCTION 

especially good to see her in the midst of her Bible class 
of laboring men, converts in the mission to which I have 
before referred. Many of these had been marvellously 
saved from very sinful lives, and some of them still had a 
very rough exterior, but God's great blessing was upon 
them, and their devotion to Miss Prosser and gentleness 
in her presence, was very marked. 

Wonderful times of sweet and holy fellowship in the 
Lord were ours, and the tenderest love always remained 
between us up to the time of her death, which occurred in 
1902. Meanwhile because of my marriage, and the re- 
moval of my work to California, I was not privileged to 
be with her during her last illness and Home-going. 
While visiting the East about a year before her death, she 
told me of a strange premonition which she had had that 
her work on earth was nearly finished. 

I praise God for my intimate acquaintance with this 
precious child of God, and it is a joy to anticipate a glad 
reunion with her in the Father's Home above. 

Carrie Judd Montgomery 

(nee Carrie F. Judd, of Buffalo, N. Y.) 

Beulah Heights, California, 
October, 1911. 



viii 



I. 




MY CHILDHOOD'S HOME. 

N THE city of Albany, N. Y., Oct. 15th, 
1846, a tiny baby girl, weighing just four- 
and-a-half pounds, opened her eyes upon 
this sinful, sorrowing world. So frail and 
puny and flickering was this little life that 
her parents had scarcely any hope of ever 
raising her. That frail little babe was the 
writer. As far back as I can recollect, I 
was surrounded by the most tender and loving care in a 
luxurious home, with almost my slightest wish antici- 
pated. Being the youngest of four children and perhaps 
also because of the feebleness mentioned, I was the ac- 
knowledged pet and idol of the family. 

Naturally of an exceedingly nervous and sensitive tem- 
perament, I trembled beneath even an unkind look, as the 
aeolian harp when stirred by the lightest breeze. If it had 
not been my lot to fall into such loving arms, evidently I 
should have sunk into an early grave. But, although sur- 
rounded by every comfort and enjoyment which wealth 
and indulgent parents could give, I can recall when not 
more than four years of age feeling heavy-hearted and sad 
sometimes because of the one great lack in my home, for 
some one (I have never known who) had told me the 
story of Jesus and had taught me to kneel at night and re- 
peat the sweet childish prayer "Now I lay me down to 
sleep," and I used to ponder it over in my little mind and 
wonder why no one in the house seemed to love Jesus, or 
talk about Him, and why they so very rarely went to 



PROM DEATH TO LIFE 

church as I had seen our neighbors do. And I can recall 
how, being very tired and sleepy one night, I tumbled 
into my little cot without saying my usual prayer, and all 
the next day I felt condemned and troubled, and finally 
when night came I tremblingly asked my mother if she 
thought God would forgive me if I would then say it 
twice ! She smilingly replied that she was sure He would, 
and so, after thus relieving my burdened conscience, I 
climbed into my snowy bed with a sense of infinite relief. 
Oh ! how easily I could then have been led to Christ while 
my little heart was so tender, if there had been any one 
to care for my soull But alas! no one did care. The 
whole family were engrossed in fashion and worldly pur- 
suits, my father being a man of great business ability, 
whose one all-engrossing thought was his rapidly increas- 
ing fortune, and my mother, though in her girlhood a 
member of the Baptist church, was now a complete back- 
slider, perhaps influenced by my father's infidel views. 
The older children, (a brother and two sisters) being 
reared in such an ungodly atmosphere, naturally drifted 
with the current and were soon whirled away by the gay 
and fashionable society of the city. Though so young it 
was always a trial to me to hear the subject of religion 
spoken of lightly and irreverently, and Christian people 
ridiculed, as they often were in my home; though I am 
glad to say that my father never joined in any such con- 
versations, always treating the religious convictions of 
others with respect. 

Right here let me say to any ungodly parents who 
may read these lines, that it will be a terrible day for 
you if you meet the children whom God has given you, 
at the judgment of the Great White Throne unsaved 

10 



MY CHILDHOOD'S HOME 

and they charge you with their doom ! It will ring in your 
ears through all eternity if you hear them say, "If you had 
loved and served God, you could easily have turned my 
childish feet into the narrow way, but now I have stumbled 
over you down into hell !" How solemn the responsibility 
to bring immortal souls into the world to train either for 
endless joy or woe! How priceless the opportunities to 
lead the noble boy or the lovely girl growing up at your 
side into a consecrated Christian life ! Who can even con- 
ceive of the outcome of one such life? Its influence may 
be felt to earth's remotest bounds. Eternity alone will 
reveal all the stars won and the sheaves gathered by one 
such beautiful life of self-denying service. 

And to Christian parents I would say, you will have 
reason to praise God throughout eternity if, from the time 
when your little ones are old enough to know right from 
wrong, you faithfully talk and pray with them, and, by 
early winning their confidence, lead them to turn to you 
with all their little troubles and sins in order that you may 
wisely train them for God and heaven. Frances Havergal, 
when but four years of age, had deep religious convictions 
which she dared not breathe to any in her family, heart- 
hungerings after God which no one suspected, and I am 
convinced that such is the case with many young children 
whose tender aspirations are stifled for want of an ap- 
preciative friend to whom they can open their little hearts. 
I knew a strikingly beautiful child of three years who was 
evidently, at that age, converted to God through the faith- 
ful teaching of a Christian aunt who did for her what her 
unsaved parents failed to do. As she lay upon her death 
bed choking with the diphtheria she raised her radiant 
dark eyes to her father's face and beckoned with her hand ; 

11 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

he bent his ear to her lips and heard her gasp these most 
precious words : "Papa, I see the angels !" and immedi- 
ately the bright messengers bore her ransomed spirit 
away! Think you those parents can ever forget that 
triumphant testimony ? Oh ! what an unanswerable argu- 
ment to the ranting infidel is the dying testimony of one 
such innocent child ! The seraphic smile which lit up her 
face as she lay in her rose-strewn casket can never be 
forgotten by those who lingered around it, seemingly 
unable to tear themselves away from the lovely vision. 

How little my parents dreamed of the heart-longings of 
the reserved, sensitive child playing about their house! 
How little they dreamed of all the thorny road over which 
her young feet must walk ere she found those longings 
satisfied ! At about the age of six years, my mother, who 
had become a cripple soon after my birth and suffered 
from a contracted limb, decided to go to the Hot Springs 
in Arkansas, and I was sent, together with one of my 
sisters, to Lewiston, N. Y., to spend a year with a dear 
aunt who had always felt a deep interest in us. I remem- 
ber standing at the window with a sense of utter desola- 
tion as I watched my dear mother going on her crutches 
to the carriage which awaited her and which was to 
convey her most of the way on her long journey, as there 
were no railroads at that time in that part of Arkansas. 
She was accompanied by my father, oldest sister, and 
faithful William and Norah, the coachman and chamber- 
maid who served in our family thirteen and sixteen years 
each. My heart was bursting, almost, with grief ; but had 
she not urged me to be a brave little girl and not cry and 
thus make it harder for her to go? And so I resolutely 
choked down the tears by a tremendous effort, though 

12 



MY CHILDHOOD'S HOME 

as the carriage bore her away out of my sight my pent-up 
grief found relief in a violent fit of weeping. It seemed 
to me that the world was indeed but a barren waste. 

After spending a year with my aunt, who proved all 
that the tenderest mother could have been, my father sold 
the home in Albany and we moved to the city of Buffalo 
where we were joined by my dear mother who was but 
little improved by her long absence. My father now built 
an elegant suburban residence, and from this time our 
house became the center of one continual round of balls, 
card parties, amateur theatricals and other worldly amuse- 
ments; and in this atmosphere of luxurious ease and 
selfishness my life developed into that of a heartless so- 
ciety coquette ; its highest aim that of being more exquis- 
itely attired than my young lady companions and of having 
a greater number of suitors at my feet. My reading con- 
sisted of the most sensational and exciting novels of the 
day, which greatly tended to demoralize and to spur me 
on in the feverish race which I was pursuing. Alas ! what 
a sandy foundation for character building! False and 
frivolous myself, I did not look for truth or integrity in 
my associates, although they moved in what the world 
calls "best society." I knew the world was hollow and its 
promises were lies, and yet I rushed madly on, seeking 
its pleasures and its applause. It was not only during the 
winter season, but also when summer came, even during 
the hottest weather I often was found in the ball room 
dancing the entire night at some fashionable watering 
place. Many a time during the gay winter season I have 
returned to my home at four o'clock in the morning with 
my feet so swollen from constant dancing that I have 
actually been compelled to walk from the carriage to the 

13 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

house on my heels, supported by my sister's arm ! What 
pitiable slaves the votaries of fashion are ! What will the 
harvest be from this "sowing to the flesh ?" 

This incessant round of dissipation, added to the rich 
night suppers, the unhealthful mode of dress, and the ner- 
vous strain consequent upon thus continually turning night 
into day, soon began to make terrible inroads upon my 
frail body and naturally excitable brain. At last I could 
only keep my place in the ranks by the support of tonics 
and stimulants, and how well I can recall the desperate 
attempts to conceal my rapidly failing health, and the 
words of my friends spurring me on when they saw me 
hesitating about accepting this or that invitation to balls 
and parties: "Oh," they would say, "you'll be all right 
after you get there, you will forget all about yourself after 
you get on the floor." And so on and on I went with a 
dark foreboding hanging over me, but unable to resist 
the charm of the entrancing music, the light, the exquisite 
flowers, the beautiful faces, the gorgeous dresses of the 
ball room, the fascination of the theatre, the opera, the 
card party and the many subtle snares of a fashionable 
life. 

But do not imagine, dear reader, that there were no ser- 
ious moments in my life at this period. Sometimes after 
reaching my room, exhausted and almost fainting after 
the incessant dancing of the night, the thought would force 
itself upon me, "Is this the best that life has to offer me? 
If death were to come in the midst of this, could any one 
say that his life had been the better for my influence or ex- 
ample?" And on one occasion when two of my young 
companions were suddenly called away by death, I was 
filled with terror and would not attend the funeral of 

14 



MY CHILDHOOD'S HOME 

either, lest I should be brought face to face with the 
solemn question of the judgment and eternity. During 
all these years but three persons had ever approached me 
on the subject of my soul's salvation. The first appeal 
occurred when I was ten or twelve years of age. One of 
my classmates who was my inseparable playmate had been 
converted, and out of the joy and fulness of her heart 
wrote me a little note, so tender and loving, telling me of 
her happiness and peace and urging me to give my heart 
to Christ and my life to His service. How this inoffen- 
sive little note stung me to the quick ! In my indignation 
I quickly destroyed it and inwardly resolved never to 
speak to her or play with her again ; and so the dear child 
was shunned from that day and all her loving advances 
spurned, and I chose for my playmates those whom I 
fancied would never in any way allude to the subject of 
salvation. Oh ! how often in later years, after hearing of 
her death (which occurred in her early womanhood) I 
have reproached myself for thus ill-treating her, and have 
hoped that if departed saints can look down upon these 
earthly scenes, she might be permitted to see how the 
proud will which so scorned her message had at last 
broken at the foot of the cross of Calvary ! 

The second appeal was as follows: When fourteen 
years of age I began to feel ashamed of the fact that I 
had never attended Sabbath school and was almost as 
ignorant of the Bible as if I had been reared in a heathen 
land. There was a family Bible in my house containing a 
record of the births, marriages and deaths in our family, 
but I had never seen a single member of the household 
reading it and do not recall ever having read a chapter in 
it myself. On this account, I concluded to join a class of 

15 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

young girls in the Sunday school of a Presbyterian church 
which we sometimes attended. One Sunday our teacher, 
who was a very godly woman, talked with us most earnest- 
ly, with tears, regarding our personal salvation, and many 
were touched and were soon after this converted and 
united with the church. She asked me if I thought that 
I was a Christian but I answered evasively, and she, evi- 
dently seeing how greatly the subject annoyed me, never 
mentioned it to me again. 

The years rolled on, and at sixteen years of age my 
parents decided io send me off to boarding school where 
the "finishing touches" might be given to a very superficial 
education. For although I had had the very best advan- 
tages of education offered me, I wasted so much of my 
time in amusements and novel reading that I had only a 
smattering of the various studies pursued in the Seminary 
which I attended for eight years. Accordingly I was sent 
to New Haven, Conn., to what proved to be a model 
boarding school in every respect, as far as education is 
concerned. Here I was compelled to study, and, being 
placed under the most rigid discipline, I made rapid pro- 
gress in all my studies and also in both vocal and instru- 
mental music, of which I was passionately fond. Indeed 
music was my idol, and I fully intended to devote my life 
to it, having been told by my teachers that I had extra- 
ordinary talent and could, without doubt, excel both as a 
pianist and soprano singer, with proper training. This 
heaven-born gift I desired to cultivate solely for the ap- 
plause of the world and I applied myself very faithfully to 
this as well as all my studies during the entire year. My 
roommates were wild, frivolous girls like myself, and 
aside from the fact that I was compelled to attend church 

16 



MY CHILDHOOD'S HOME 

once every Sunday and morning prayers at the school, I 
was brought under no religious influence while there. By 
the time the year ended, impatient under the restraints 
of the school, I announced my intention to go to a more 
fashionable, larger school in New York City, where I was 
obliged to speak French continually and where as I im- 
agined I would have better musical advantages, and get 
a peep, too, at New York life. My ever indulgent parents 
consented, though in this they made indeed a serious mis- 
take. The year passed in this school was merely a waste 
of money and time aside from my musical studies which 
I faithfully pursued, simply because I loved them too well 
to do otherwise. Upon the close of the year my music 
teacher told me that I had made greater progress in one 
year than any pupil that he ever had taught and urged 
me very earnestly to return another year, which I refused 
to do as I was anxious to enter upon the gay "society" 
life which awaited me at home, and this I did as soon as I 
reached there and would have been still pursuing that 
butterfly existence at the present day, but for the afflicting 
hand of my God which most mercifully interposed. 

I come now to the third appeal regarding my soul's sal- 
vation. When twenty years of age I went to visit a friend 
in Providence, R. I., where, in the midst of a winter of gay 
festivities, I was again compelled to face the subject so 
dreaded by receiving a letter from a young lady friend 
who told me that a revival had broken out in the church 
which we attended in Buffalo and a number of my class 
had been converted and were going to unite with the 
church at the following communion service, and she ten- 
derly said that she was sure that I was not wholly insensi- 
ble to the claims of Christ and begged me to hasten home 

17 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

with the determination . to join the company who would 
pubHcly confess Christ on the first Sunday of the follow- 
ing month. And she added that she was heartily ashamed 
of the poor example which she, as a professing Christian, 
had set me and asked me to forgive the levity and careless- 
ness of her life. After reading this long and very touch- 
ing letter, I sat in my room some time in deep thought. 



18 



11. 




A WRONG STEP. 

'If any man have not the Spirit of Christ 
he is none of His." (Rom. 8:9.) 

OR THE first time in my life I was now 
ready to give the subject of my soul's sal- 
vation candid and earnest consideration, 
so far as I was able in my ignorance to do. 
I knew that I was a sinner, a load of guilt 
rested heavily upon me. I knew that I 
had long resisted the Spirit's strivings, and 
I was afraid of God, death and the judg- 
ment. I had for years, Jonah -like, tried in vain to flee from 
His presence and to stifle the convictions of my need. I did 
despise a coward and a hypocrite. I wanted in some way to 
be freed from the unrest and sense of condemnation which 
filled my soul, and I supposed that an outward profession of 
religion,baptism,joiningthe church, partaking of the Lord's 
Supper, faithful attendance at the prayer meeting and 
other services of the church, would quiet my troubled con- 
science and bring the peace which I craved. Never had it 
even dawned upon my mind that there must be an inward 
renewing and an outward separation from the world. I 
had never read "Love not the world, neither the things 
that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love 
of the Father is not in Him." (1 John 2:15.) I did not 
even know enough about the Bible to understand that, if 
I would search it, I would therein find the way to salva- 
tion made plain ! The young people in the church, which 
I attended, who professed to have been converted were, 



It 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

to all outward appearance, living precisely such a life as 
my own; I constantly met them in my rounds of gaiety 
and worldly folly and therefore, naturally enough, inferred 
that, as they were allowed to continue in this life unre- 
proved, there would be nothing more expected of me. If 
I had understood that God required the first place in my 
heart's love and service and that to be a Christian involved 
entire self-renunciation, crucifixion to the world and a 
lowly walk with Jesus in the way of holiness never for 
one moment would I have consented to take the step, for 
I idolized the world and had not the faintest intention of 
leaving it. But I wanted to do something which would 
free me from the load of sin which was resting upon me. 
And so with no further light, with not a particle of inward 
change, I was baptized (or rather sprinkled) and accepted 
as a member of the church soon after returning home, 
together with many others, young and old. I was not hypo- 
critical in this act, but acting up to what light I had. I 
did believe, in a misty way, in the existence of a God, in a 
heaven for the righteous and a hell for the wicked, but I 
had no more conception of the plan of salvation than if 
I had been reared in a heathen land. 

I desire to add here, that though I believe the pastor of 
the church to have been a good man and, apparently, 
anxious for souls, I tremble to think of what his re- 
sponsibility will be when called to give an account of his 
stewardship, for allowing me to enter the communion 
of his church utterly self-deceived (as he could not avoid 
seeing that I was) and by his silence endorsing the sin- 
ful life in which I was engaged, never even alluding 
to it in any way or showing me the absolute necessity of 
the new birth. And not only this; as he saw and knew 

20 



A WRONG STEP 

that my course of life remained unchanged, but that I 
went steadily on in all the whirl of fashion and gaiety pre- 
cisely the same as before professing conversion, he never 
reproved me or warned me of my perilous condition. I be- 
lieve that he himself knew the way of salvation and was 
himself saved, but I also firmly believe that but for the 
infinite mercy of God, I should have sunk into hell and my 
blood would have been required at this "idle shepherd's" 
hands. 

Alas! I fear that my father's wealth and position in 
society blinded this dear man's eye to his duty to myself 
and my family. Like many others, he had not the moral 
courage to fearlessly proclaim the truth and leave the con- 
sequences with God. This sad experience and my narrow 
escape from eternal ruin have caused me to feel very deeply 
my responsibility to God in dealing with hardened sinners 
as well as with repentant souls seeking salvation, to faith- 
fully show them from the Word of God their need of a 
heart belief in the Lord Jesus Christ and His atoning 
blood poured out upon the cross for the remission of sins, 
and an entire separation of heart and life unto Him and 
His service. 

It is of the greatest importance that men should be 
shown first of all that they are sinners both by nature and 
by practice, and that however moral the outward life may 
be, the heart, God says, "is deceitful above all things and 
desperately wicked" (Jer. 17:9) and the Holy Spirit has 

come into the world to "reprove (convince) of sin of 

sin (said Jesus) because they believe not on Me." (John 
16:8-9.) The first chapter of Romans, which we have 
been accustomed to think is a picture of the heathen world 
only, is also, dear reader, a picture of your heart and mine 

21 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

by nature. You may feel disposed to indignantly refute 
this assertion, but would not you and I be to-day precisely 
what the poor heathen are, sunken in superstition and 
degradation, even to the level of the brutes, if we had not, 
in the mercy of God, been surrounded by the restraints of 
civilization and of the Gospel? If we had been wholly 
left to the natural bent of our own heart as they have 
been, would we not illustrate as strikingly as they do the 
plain declaration of God's word that "out of the heart 
proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications," 
etc.? (Matt. 15:19.) 

Not until men have given evidence by their lives and 
have the inward witness of the Holy Spirit that they have 
been born again should they be allowed to take upon them 
the solemn vows of the church or be found at the table of 
the Lord. I am ashamed to say that the Superintendent of 
the Sabbath School which I attended asked me to take 
charge of a class of girls (knowing what my spiritual con- 
dition was) and I consented. I can truly say that there 
was not a child in my class so ignorant of the Scriptures 
as her teacher ! I had never even had the stories of the 
Bible (which children so much love to hear) taught to 
me, and I had simply nothing to set before these lambs 
entrusted to my care. Being wholly occupied with world- 
ly pleasures, I had neither time nor desire for the study 
of the lesson and never even a thought entered my mind 
of my responsibility to God for the souls of my class. 
Should these lines reach the eye of an unsaved Sunday 
school teacher, my advice to you is to step down and out 
until clearly saved yourself and fully awake to the solemn 
responsibility of your charge, and never then to dare to 
look into the upturned faces of your precious class with- 



A WRONG STEP 

out great prayer and faithful preparation of the lesson. 
I am indeed covered with confusion and shame as I recall 
those wasted years and the presumption of the Superinten- 
dent who placed me in so serious a position. I knew no 
better, but verily thought that I was doing God service, 
but I am persuaded that he was without excuse. 

When the day arrived in which I was to join the 
church I ventured timidly to tell one of my sisters of my 
intention. I had not told the family because I feared their 
opposition. Most of them went to the church and, on re- 
turning, what was my surprise and emotion when my 
father came to me in the hall and, laying his hand kindly 
upon my head, said: "My daughter, you need not have 
feared to tell me of your intention, I should have raised 
no objection. I hope your connection with the church 
may prove a help to you through life!" Choking with 
tears I could make no reply. I am glad to-day to recall 
those tender words, but oh ! if he or any one in my home 
had only been able to take me by the hand at that time and 
lead me to the cross ! For I did indeed honestly desire to 
be true and supposed that I had now done all that God 
required. But, dear reader, you can judge of the amount 
of light received from the following incident. 

Just two months from this time we all received in- 
vitations to attend a grand reception and ball, to be 
given for President Grant at Niagara Falls, as he was 
then traveling through this part of the country and had 
stopped to visit the Falls. It being considered a great 
honor (in worldly parlance) to be a guest at this recep- 
tion, I was anxious to go, but I was at once confronted 
with the fact that, as the ball was to run till midnight on 
Saturday evening, our party would not return home till 

23 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Monday, and this would compel me to absent myself from 
the sacraiiient of the Lord's Supper which was to be ad- 
ministered on the coming Sabbath. Here began a strug- 
gle in my mind. Seeing my hesitation, my sister said : — 
**Why surely you are not thinking of staying home ? You 
may never have another such opportunity; it is going to 
be the great affair of the season ;" and she pointed to my 
beautiful ball dress of white and delicate rose pink silk, 
fresh from the dressmaker's hands, which lay spread out 
upon the bed with my jewels, laces and kids near it. ''Can 
you resist that ?" she said. One glance and my weak heart 
yielded. I said, "I must go." But what a miserable ball 
it was ! While the members of the church at home were 
gathering about the Lord's table the next morning, I, with 
a gay party of worldlings, sat on the piazza of the hotel 
talking of the last novel or the last flirtation with a vain 
attempt to appear interested and happy. 

Such was my condemnation over this that I went to 
my pastor as soon as I reached home and confessed to 
him my sorrow for what I had done, to which he simply 
replied that he trusted I would learn a lesson from it, and 
that it would never occur again. What an opportunity he 
then had to reprove me and to show me from the Word 
the "high and holy calling" of the Christian ! But alas ! 
he did not avail himself of it, and I pursued my course as 
before, with the exception of the fact that I never again 
allowed any worldly amusement to keep me from any of 
the church services. Not long after this, while in the 
midst of my gay career I was suddenly stricken down with 
a violent congestive chill which lasted for an hour and 
left me so prostrated that the gardener was called to carry 
me upstairs in his arms to my room. From this time 

24 



A WRONG STEP 

began a wretched period of invalidism lasting for about 
ten years. One disease after another settled upon me 
until only my lungs remained untouched. 

In order that any dear sufferers who may read this book 
may know at least some of the particulars of my case and, 
above all, that God may be glorified for all that He 
wrought in my subsequent miraculous healing I shall be 
obliged to write very plainly but I trust that I shall not be 
considered indelicate in so doing. "To the pure all things 
are pure." I feel also a desire to contradict the statements 
of some who have declared that my troubles were only im- 
aginary, saying, "there was nothing the matter with her, 
only nervousness." Right here I wish to say that no one 
who has ever suffered from complete prostration of the 
nervous system will ever be heard making such a remark, 
and those who have not experienced it know not of what 
they speak. A careful, studious physician once made the 
following remark: "I wonder if people who cry, 'only 
nervousness,' know anything about how their bodies are 
made ! Do they know that there is not a spot in our bodies 
large enough to put the point of a needle where we do not 
find a nerve ? When we speak of the nervous system hav- 
ing become prostrated it is equivalent to saying that the 
whole man is down." Perhaps it is because medical science 
has never yet discovered any thing which can reach ner- 
vous diseases that some physicians speak so lightly of 
them. Surely we all know that nervous prostration, if 
long continued, often leads to paralysis and insanity, and 
it is the height of folly to call those conditions imaginary. 
So called "Christian Science" (it is verily neither Chris- 
tianity nor Science) may prate about "the delusions of 
mortal mind" and try to convince us that there is no such 

25 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

thing as matter and that "there is neither a personal God, 
a personal man nor a personal devil," but I am quite con- 
vinced that if one of its adherents were to be called to 
endure one-fourth of the suffering which I have passed 
through he would no longer consider his body a myth, to 
say the least, and would also be forever convinced of the 
existence of the devil ! 

To speak plainly, then, regarding my condition through 
those long, weary years I would say that while skating 
one evening when a school girl I fell backwards, strik- 
ing with terrible force on the end of the spine and back 
of the head which undoubtedly gave rise to the extreme 
sensitiveness of the spine from which I now suffered; 
there was a serious complication of uterine troubles which 
of itself confined me to my bed for two years; in addi- 
tion to this the stomach became so irritated that often 
even a piece of dry bread or cracker would throw me into 
such distress that I would gasp for breath and the 
windows would be thrown open and some one obliged to 
fan me continually until at last I lay back on the pillow 
exhausted. There were also chronic troubles with the 
kidneys and bowels, and internal tumors which subjected 
me to a surgical operation too excruciating to describe and 
which was as useless as it was horrible. On account of 
the action of my heart no anesthetics were administered 
during this operation and I was thus obliged to pass 
through the exquisite torture keenly alive to every pang. 
Oh, if I had only known Jesus the Great Physician at 
that time, what suffering I could have been spared ! 

The kidney trouble, as well as all the others combined, 
so affected the brain that the faintest excitement of any 
kind would cause sinking spells when the limbs would be- 

26 



A WRONG STEP 

come so cold that I have had the skin actually rubbed off 
in places with a hair mitten in the hands of my nurse, and 
I could scarcely feel that she was even touching me ! Fre- 
quently three persons would be rubbing me at once ; one at 
my head and two at my feet. On account of the congested 
condition of the brain and the extreme nervous prostration 
which set in, no one was allowed to enter my room except- 
ing those who had constantly attended me. My dearest 
friends were excluded ; even my own sister, who was then 
married and living in New York, came home four differ- 
ent times with the hope of seeing me, but they did not even 
dare to let me know that she was in the house. Dear 
friends and relatives died and I knew nothing of it until 
years afterward. Several times I sank so low that the 
door-bell was muffled, and no one allowed to speak above 
a whisper in the house, within my hearing which was pain- 
fully acute. My life hung trembling in the balance again 
and again. God alone knows the anguish both of body 
and mind through which I passed. 

A physician from Indiana came to the city and hearing 
of my condition called at the house and diagnosed my 
case. Although for a time, through his prescriptions, 
which were the most powerful nervines and tonics known 
to the medical profession, I was enabled to go about once 
more, I was soon prostrated in my bed again, and from 
that relapse I never rallied for five long years. During 
the ten years of invalidism nine different physicians were 
employed. Some of them were, I believe, really interested 
in my welfare and recovery and did the very best they 
knew, and I, in return, placed the most complete confidence 
in each one and carefully followed the advice given, at the 
same time exerting all my will power to regain my health. 

27 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

My dear father spared no expense but allowed me the 
care of the best of nurses and spent thousands of dollars 
upon my case, traveling with me (when able to be moved) 
and resorting to every possible means for my restoration. 
Oh, how often I have heard him pacing the floor at night 
in too much anxiety to sleep, when the family would 
gather around my bed trying to give me relief; and it 
was not the least of my miseries when I reflected that 
those I loved best were constantly weighted down with 
sorrow and care, and not a ray of joy ever entered their 
lives on account of my condition. Added to this was the 
mental anguish of an unsurrendered will, which was in- 
wardly battling against thus being shut out from all my 
young companions and especially at being thwarted in my 
pet project of perfecting myself in my idolized music. It 
was a bitter cup, indeed. 

We had been reared in such an atmosphere of love in 
our family that each felt very deeply the other's sorrow. 
This sweet unity was truly remarkable in a family without 
Christ. I must confess that I have never seen it sur- 
passed, indeed equalled, in any Christian household. I do 
not remember that there ever occurred a jar or contention 
of any kind between the children in our family circle. This 
tender affection caused me to maintain a cheerful and pa- 
tient exterior so that I should not add to the sorrow which 
I knew was crushing their hearts, by giving way to out- 
bursts of grief over my lot. My tears were shed in secret. 
Alas! that I should be obliged to say that none of those 
tears came from a repentant heart! For, strange as it 
may seem, in spite of all those years of severe discipline, 
my only desire was to regain my health in order to go 
straight on with my old life of worldly amusement and 

2$ 



A WRONG STEP 

sin. At last the day came when my faithful and kind 
physician, who had been treating me for nearly three 
years, stood beside my bed, and, looking sadly down at 
me as I lay moaning with unspeakable suffering, shook 
his head and struggling to conceal his emotion went down- 
stairs to my parents and said : "I can do no more. If 
you wish to take her away out of town, or try something 
else, do so. Any thing rather than see her there as she is ; 
but," he said, "my opinion is that she has but a few weeks 
to live." 

My dear parents, almost distracted with grief, now 
resolved to take me to Avon Springs to a clairvoyant 
who was said to be making many remarkable cures. 
Accordingly I was laid upon a mattress and my parents, 
nurse and doctor accompanied me, and took me to a 
little cottage near the water cure. I can recall seeing 
my beloved mother standing at the door of the car on 
the journey asking the people to shut it quietly on ac- 
count of the agony which it caused me whenever it was 
slammed, and of the feeling of utter despair in my heart 
as the train whirled me on, I scarcely knew or cared 
where. For over a year I remained at this place, rallying 
for a time under the remedies given, but in the meantime 
realizing something of the horrible influences of spiritual- 
ism which surrounded me, and heartily despising it, al- 
though so far from the truth myself. While here I wa? 
again given a terrible relapse by a fright received by 
two insane patients who were there. One of them strayed 
into my room one day, and the other, rushing past my 
cottage soon after, threw a large stone at the window, 
which so filled me with terror that for days I lay trem- 
bling, with all my window shades drawn down, and I am 

29 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

sure never would have raised them again had not these 
poor unfortunates been removed from the place. 

About this time my mother who had stood by me all 
these long years with a devotion which only a true mother 
can show, suddenly fell at her post, being taken with 
pneumonia and in three days passed away. Somehow, 
with that strange intuition which the sick often show, I 
knew, by narrowly scanning the faces of those around me, 
that she was very low and I plead with my father to take 
me to the city of R. to the home of my cousins who, I felt 
sure, would befriend me at such a time. To this he at 
once consented and so I was once more hurriedly placed 
upon a bed and laid in the train which swiftly bore me 
away to new scenes. 

Not until several days after my dear, faithful mother 
had been laid in her grave did my cousin venture to tell 
me of her death. Although my heart was wrung with 
sorrow, it was still a satisfaction to me to think that her 
anxiety and suffering over my wretched condition were 
at an end. I can only trust that in her last days she turned 
unto the Lord. Dear young friend, prize and value your 
mother while she is spared to you ; smooth the way for her 
aged feet, remember how many weary steps they have 
taken for you when you were a helpless babe, how often 
your head was pillowed on her true, loving breast, how 
she stood by you when others were impatient and irritated 
with your sins and follies, and oh ! I beg of you to let her 
see, by every gentle and tender attention which you can 
show her, that you truly love and appreciate her more 
than any earthly friend. The bitter tears which you will 
shed over her grave and the tributes of love which you 
offer then will come too late. 

30 




III. 

SAVED AND HEALED. 

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul; and all that is within me, 
bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and 
forget not all His benefits; who forgiveth all thine 
iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases." Ps. 103:1-2. 

FTER spending another year and six 
months under the care of a magnetic 
physician, though somewhat benefited, I 
again sank into such a suffering condition 
that for the first time I wished for death, 
being utterly disheartened and weary with 
the long struggle for health. Here my 
dear sister, from whom I had been sep- 
arated so many years, came and rented a house in the city 
in order to be near me, and, realizing that I had exhausted 
all remedies and was indeed beyond human help, told me 
of a Christian woman of whom she had heard who took 
the sick into her own home and taught and prayed with 
them, and that many had there been restored without any 
medicine whatever. Upon hearing this I laughed satiri- 
cally and regarded it as the most fanatical and nonsensi- 
cal thing I had ever heard, and said that as far as prayer 
was concerned I presumed I could pray where I was, and 
need not go to anyone's house. But as my sister told me 
of those who had been brought to this woman, on beds, 
from long distances, in precisely the same, condition as 
myself, and in a few days or weeks had returned home 
well and rejoicing, I felt a little more inclined to listen, 
and when she suggested going to see her and stating my 



31 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

case, I languidly assented, inwardly wondering what 
strange kind of a creature she would find her to be, and 
too heart-sick with the repeated raising and dashing of 
my hopes to care ever to place confidence in any who 
might offer me health again. 

My spiritual state at that time was even more deplorable 
than when I was taken into the church, for as the years 
had gone by I had drifted into Unitarianism, and did 
not care to hear or think of Jesus and His sacrifice for 
sin. However, the thought of facing death was terrible, 
and down deep in my soul I began to long for some one 
to come to me who could show me how to get rid of the 
great load of sin which rested so heavily upon me, in 
order that I might be ready and willing to die. There- 
fore when my sister returned after her call and said she 
had found her very lovely and winning in manner, and, 
from the conversation, judged her to be an earnest Chris- 
tian woman, I concluded to ask her to call and see me, 
with the secret hope that she might say something which 
would show me how to make my peace with God and pre- 
pare for death, for I had not a shadow of hope that she 
could help me physically ; indeed my distress of mind was 
such that I scarcely gave my body a thought. 

She came. A very plain, elderly woman with great, 
searching, dark eyes which seemed to discern my inmost 
thoughts. I quailed beneath her gaze and yet longed to 
have her near me. She asked me nothing of my symp- 
toms but began to speak to me of Jesus, of His power and 
willingness to save from all sin and also to heal all our 
diseases. She told me that if I wished to come to her 
house for a time for instruction, she was willing to take 
me on the condition that I would come without my nurse 

32 



SAVED AND HEALED 

or any member of my family, and yield implicit obedience 
to her. This I thought it impossible to do, as I had for 
five years been dependent upon my nurse, and the idea of 
going to the home of a stranger entirely alone, filled me 
with fear. However, after she had called upon me for a 
few days my heart was so won by her sweet earnestness 
and loving words that I decided, after a great struggle, 
to go, and to go alone. 

I felt a mysterious something about her which I had 
never recognized in anyone before, a power which made 
me tremble when she would draw her chair near my bed 
and fix her loving eyes upon me. I made one desperate 
effort to convince her that I was a Christian, telling her 
of my church membership, class in Sabbath school, etc. 
But one look of gentle, loving reproach, although she 
made me no reply, closed my lips forever on that subject. 
Somehow it flashed over me that she had probed me 
through and through, and knew just what a poor miser- 
able sham it all was, the "form of godliness but denying 
the power thereof," (2 Tim. 3 :5) and at that very moment 
with a sinking heart I saw every prop, which my self- 
righteousness had reared, knocked from beneath me, and, 
under the mighty convincing power of the Holy Spirit, 
for the first time in my life saw myself a helpless, perish- 
ing sinner, and all ''my righteousness as filthy rags." It 
was not because she told me that such was my condition, 
but the more she talked with me the more I realized that 
she knew God and I did not, and the quiet influence of 
her beautiful life seemed to overwhelm me with a crush- 
ing sense of the vileness and corruption of my own heart. 
I dared not tell her this, but each interview only served 
to give me clearer views of my iniquity in the sight of 

33 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

God, and it was this revelation of my deep need and long- 
ing for salvation which caused me to decide to go to her 
house and to go alone. As I had been in terror of being 
left alone even for five minutes at a time, this was indeed 
a bold step to take, but I was now thoroughly aroused 
and cared very little what might come to my body if I 
could only know that my sins were forgiven. "There is no 
peace, saith my God, to the wicked." (Is. 57:21.) 

Accordingly I parted with my father, sister and nurse, 
and was driven to the home of my faithful teacher and 
friend, where I was carried up the stairs in the arms of 
the driver and laid upon the bed in a plain little room, 
rigidly plain, without a picture on the wall or the tiniest 
ornament of any kind. Day by day in this quiet room I 
listened to God's holy word and blessed messages, given, 
I believe, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, as it always 
seemed the very thing needed at that particular time, 
until the day came when with a bursting heart I begged 
that I might be left alone for a time as I could bear no 
more. Prostrating myself before God I cried unto Him 
for forgiveness, humbly confessing all the sins and follies 
of the past, all the outward profession and inward corrup- 
tion, and praying that for Jesus' sake He would have 
mercy upon me, and blot out all the past. My sins rose 
up mountains high before me and I was tempted to feel 
as if there could be no salvation for such a rebel as I, but 
I praise God that I pressed my suit with desperate earnest- 
ness, pleading the promises (for I was now for the first 
time reading and meditating upon the Bible) until at last 
at the foot of the cross the light broke in upon my soul, 
like the dawning of the morning after a dark and weary 
night. There I beheld Jesus as an all-sufficient Savior, 

34 



SAVED AND HEALED 

and felt that I could trust Him with my weak suffering 
body as well as my soul. I had nowhere else to go, the 
arm of flesh had indeed failed me, and as I read of His 
mercy and grace in so tenderly welcoming the sick ones 
who came to Him when on earth, my trembling heart was 
encouraged to place my case in His hands for physical 
healing; for whenever I opened my Bible my eyes fell 
upon some such sweet words as these : "Daughter, be of 
good comfort ; thy faith hath made thee whole," and other 
kindred passages. And a child-like trust sprang up in 
place of the human reasonings which had formerly under- 
taken to overthrow God's Word, so that I now received 
every word in it from cover to cover with the most un- 
questioning faith, a position from which I do praise God 
the philosophies and sophistries of men, and all the fine 
arguments of the devil have never been able to drive me. 

It is indeed a source of great thanksgiving that in 
these "perilous times" when materialism and "higher 
criticism" are stalking through the land, the precious 
faith in God's Word of those early days of my conversion 
has never been undermined. Every promise which I 
found was marked and appropriated as my very own, 
and, as I meditated upon them, I was convinced that 
what the wonder-working Jesus had wrought when on 
the earth He was able and willing to do now. Therefore 
I cried to Him from the depths of my soul, telling Him 
that if He would in mercy heal my body, I would devote 
my entire life to His service, following where He might 
lead me even to the ends of the earth. 

At this point such a yearning desire took possession 
of me to be of some use in His vineyard, that I told 
Him I would take the humblest little corner, gladly doing 

35 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

anything and going anywhere, if He would put upon 
me so great an honor as to make me a co-worker with 
Himself. It did seem that when I had brought my all, 
it was little enough in view of the great things He had 
done for me. From the moment that I accepted Christ, 
the mask was lifted from this deceitful, glittering world, 
and in the twinkling of an eye I realized that I was "cruci- 
fied to the world and the world unto me," (Gal. 6 :14) and 
I abhorred its tinsel and vain show, its pleasures, flatteries 
and all its glory as heartily as I had once adored it all. 
There was no struggle over this separation but a joyful 
sense of emancipation from beneath a galling yoke, and 
deep thankfulness that I had my eyes now opened to see 
this world as God sees it. Blessed be His name that 
Jesus "gave Himself for our sins that He might deliver us 
from this present evil world." (Gal. 1:4.) 

How I despised myself for having been its tool and 
dupe so many long years! How those wasted years 
now passed before me and brought the bitter tears of 
remorse as I reflected what they might have been for 
Jesus ! And how I longed to warn those who were 
near and dear, especially my own family, to beware of 
the pitfalls into which my young feet had fallen, and to 
seek the Savior whom they had so long despised. I 
wished that I might go forth and sound the praises of 
Him who had snatched me from the horrible pit and 
placed my feet upon the Rock of Ages. Especially was 
my heart drawn out for my dear father who was investi- 
gating spiritualism with the hope of finding something 
which would convince him that there is a life beyond the 
grave. It seemed that I could take him by the hand and 
lead him at once to the Savior, if I could but see him and 

36 



SAVED AND HEALED 

pour out my heart before him, telhng him of the satisfying 
portion which I had found. 

Gradually the light dawned upon me more and more, 
and by the time ten days had elapsed I had gained in 
strength sufficiently to walk down the stairs for the first 
time in about five years, out into the street about a block 
and back up the stairs, with some assistance, to my room. 
As I went forth, I thought the very trees bent to salute 
me, and the little birds sang hallelujahs to God! Every 
tiny blade of grass and every opening flower on that 
glorious Spring morning seemed to me to be joining in 
an anthem of praise, and my heart swelled with such 
adoring love and gratitude as I can never describe. It 
was joy unspeakable, more than I could contain. 

Each day from that time I increased my walk, gaining 
steadily in strength, though often so exceedingly tried 
with aching muscles and excited nerves that the tears 
would start while on the street, and I would be obliged to 
sit down on the nearest door step or in some store nearly 
fainting from exhaustion, but after looking to God for 
help, strength would be given to proceed on my way. In 
the meantime, I scarcely dared even think that I was get- 
ting well. It seemed too good to be true. Several weeks 
elapsed before I ventured to write home of my wonderful 
improvement lest I should raise their hopes only to dash 
them again to the earth. 

As I pressed on, stepping out on the promises day by 
day, one by one the terrible diseases which had so long 
held me captive disappeared, though not without many 
sharp tests of my faith, and some days in which I could 
not see that I was making any headway at all. Some may 
ask why the healing was not instantaneous as in apostolic 

87 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

days ? I cannot tell. Of one thing I am sure ; it was none 
the less a Divine work because of being gradual. Every- 
thing I did, every step I took, was in prayer. Sometimes 
upon coming in from my long walks, faint and hungry, I 
would see my plate filled with the very things which it had 
distressed me most to eat for many years. I knew that I 
was expected to eat what was set before me without fear. 
None but God ever knew the inward struggles many times 
over my meals, often choking down the tears with the 
food, with the dread which would seize me of the suffer- 
ing likely to follow. At such times I could do nothing 
but throw myself on the mercy of God, and tell Him that 
He knew that I had not the power to digest that particu- 
lar kind of food, and that He must somehow cause it to 
digest, and I would trust Him to do it. "To the praise 
of the glory of His grace" I want to say that He always 
appeared in my behalf, and to my unspeakable joy I soon 
found that I could eat anything in the way of plain, nour- 
ishing food which anyone in health could eat. After a 
few weeks I was able to walk three miles a day without 
injury, and but little fatigue. 

For the encouragement of those who are seeking heal- 
ing but whose faith is sorely tried, I wish to speak of some 
of the difficulties through which I pressed, that you may 
not faint because of the heaviness of the way. Such was 
the weakness of my head on account of the terrible suffer- 
ing from congestion of the brain, and the long years of 
nervous prostration, that for many weeks I was compelled 
to confine my walks to the most quiet streets I could find, 
on account of the sensitiveness of the brain to noise and 
confusion. Venturing into the main business street one 
day, I found myself so completely overwhelmed with the 



SAVED AND HEALED 

crowds hurrying past me that unless I had kept my eyes 
fixed every moment on the side-walk, and at the same time 
cried mightily to God for help, I should have fallen. With 
greatest difficulty I regained the house, resting often on 
the way, and praying with every breath. After recover- 
ing a little from this effort I determined that I would 
take that same walk every day until I had gained the vic- 
tory over this weakness, if it took six months to accom- 
plish it. Accordingly I pressed on leaning on the arm 
of Jesus, and claiming victory in His Name. Occasionally 
I would raise my eyes as I pressed through the crowds, 
and it would seem that I should be swept away. But my 
Heavenly Father knew the frailty of His trembling child, 
and heard her cry and guided her safely through, day by 
day, and, finally, after six weeks of persistent efforts, I 
was able to go in and out of the largest stores, and 
through the most crowded streets quietly and without any 
ill effects. 

I believe that if I had been immediately healed, I should 
have missed many valuable lessons in the patience of 
faith, and many experiences which have since proved a 
great help to others. I should never have discovered, ex- 
perimentally, the nature of faith if I had not thus proved 
in my own case that it is "the evidence of things not seen." 
(Heb. 11:1.) I have since heard many relate their ex- 
periences of physical healing, but I have yet to find one 
who passed over a more rugged road than I. But for an 
overcoming, and often exceedingly venturesome faith, I 
should have been overwhelmed by the enemy and sunk 
into an early grave. 

At last the day came when I was told that the Lord 
would have me return to my home. Now this was the one 

39 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

thing which I had determined I would never do. The 
thought of ever entering that house again where I had 
passed through such suffering, (for I had been moved 
from room to room all over the entire house,) and, above 
all, where I must see my mother's vacant chair, and a 
housekeeper taking her place in the charge of the home, 
seemed to me unbearable. I positively refused to go. In 
everything else I had been pliable, no matter how hard the 
task which I was asked to perform; but this I thought 
would simply throw me back into a fatal relapse. The day 
was passed in tears and the nig'ht in anguish, but in vain 
were all my entreaties. I was told that I could no longer 
remain where I was, for God had clearly shown that the 
time had come for me to take up my duties in my own 
home, and let my light shine there for Christ. A sharp 
struggle ended in a surrendered will, and I started on the 
train for my home, (from which I had been absent nearly 
three years) accompanied by a cousin. The journey was 
passed in silence, I continuing every moment in prayer. 
As we drew near the city and into the depot, it seemed 
that my heart would leap out of my breast, and when I 
beheld my father waiting to receive me, I could only weep 
in silence in his arms. 

As the carriage rolled up the familiar streets, I still 
fortified myself with prayer, and when we reached the 
house, just as I stepped out of the carriage, the dear Lord 
came to my help with a passage of Scripture, which indeed 
filled me with new life and courage. It was this : "Lord 
thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations!" 
(Ps. 90:1.) Like a flash it was shown me that if He was 
my dwelling place, I could live anywhere ! The effect of 
this was electrical. Running up to the stoop with a step 

40 



SAVED AND HEALED 

as light as a child's I met the inmates of the house who 
stood weeping around, gazing at me in astonishment, and 
then up to the long flight of stairs to my room. So quietly 
and steadily was I held by my blessed Lord's own hand 
that I shed not a single tear, but lay quietly down upon 
the bed and after a gentle sleep arose and went down to 
dinner. All this so affected my father that he ate his din- 
ner mingled with his tears, gazing at me as if he could 
scarcely believe that it was really I. It was almost like 
seeing one raised from the grave. Hallelujah! what a 
Savior ! "His Name shall be called Wonderful." (Is. 9 :6.) 



41 




IV. 

SOWING THE SEED. 

HAD told the Lord that I would faith- 
fully witness for Him as my Savior and 
Healer wherever I went, and so the day 
after reaching home I gathered courage to 
ask my father if he would allow me to 
have morning worship in our home. I 
had already told him my experience, as 
well as all who were in the house. He had 
not the heart to refuse me anything at such a time as this, 
and so gave his consent. There was no one to conduct the 
service but myself, and I had never as yet offered an audi- 
ble prayer. Trembling violently I took my post, and pray- 
ing inwardly for guidance as to the portion to read, took 
down the long neglected family Bible from the bookcase, 
and read amid my tears the blessed message given. Feel- 
ing it an impossibility to pray, I took an Episcopal prayer 
book belonging to the housekeeper and read each morn- 
ing the prayer for the day; and this simple service the 
dear Lord accepted and blessed, as it was the best His 
feeble child could do. 

No one ever came to the house, no matter how unbeliev- 
ing, and went away without hearing my experience ; some 
stared in astonishment, others smiled incredulously, others 
wept and believed, some said that my mind was unbal- 
anced on the subject of religion, but day by day the seed 
was sown ''beside all waters," often with many tears. 

In the meantime I gained steadily in strength until after 
a few weeks I had increased twenty-five pounds in weight ; 



42 



SOWING THE SEED 

but my head still remained too weak to endure attending 
church much, or joining in any public Christian work. 
One day a letter came asking me to come to Long Island 
to help one who was in trouble, and I wished to go but as 
the weather was then extremely hot my father urged me 
not to go, fearing that I should be overcome by the heat 
which would undoubtedly be still greater there. He said I 
might lose my life by it. Perplexed to know my duty, as 
I went up the stairs, these words were spoken as if by an 
audible voice : "He that saveth his life shall lose it, and 
he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it." I imme- 
diately packed my trunk, telling my father of the passage 
given, and that I had nothing to fear. A delightful show- 
er cooled the air and during the entire month of my 
absence there was not one warm day. 

And it proved a very great blessing to me as I there met 
a godly man who had been wonderfully healed through the 
prayers of Dr. Cullis of Boston, and who enlightened me 
greatly regarding the subject of faith. I listened with 
great joy to his experience, and then asked why it was 
that the work of healing was not as yet complete in my 
case. He told me that I had failed to consider the work 
completely done, by faith, but was evidently looking for- 
ward to a future answer to my prayers. This all seemed 
very misty to me but I determined to take this stand, and 
went to my room only to be tempted the entire night by 
the devil's taunts, telling me that I did not dare to declare 
the work perfectly done, that it would be a lie, etc., etc. 
And so I tossed upon my bed in a hand-to-hand fight with 
him until morning, and arose jaded and miserable, feeling 
worse than for many months past. I resolutely held my 
ground, however, telling all who inquired as to my health, 

43 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

that I was "every whit whole." Strange to say, the brother 
did not give me any Scripture to stand on and I did not 
ask for any, but after continuing for three days, thus 
reckoning my healing complete by faith, and finding my- 
self growing steadily worse, I said, as I was dragging 
myself wearily through the streets of Brooklyn: "Now 
what authority had he to tell me to take this position ? Is 
there any Scripture foundation for it?" At that instant 
these words were brought forcibly to my mind by the 
Holy Spirit, and I could not have told where in the Bible 
they were to be found: "Whatsoever things ye desire, 
when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall 
have them." Immediately my mind was illuminated to 
see that the verb "receive" was in the present tense, and 
that therefore I had not been praying according to the 
command of Jesus, while I was looking for a future 
answer to my prayer. This filled me with such joy that I 
went on my way with a light, elastic step, feeling that God 
had indeed spoken to me and had so placed my feet now 
upon the solid rock of His own truth, that nothing could 
ever again overthrow me. 

This was a great victory gained, and one for which I 
have ever praised God, and will throughout eternity. 
From that day I was able to claim deliverance from the 
weakness of my brain, fully believing that I received it 
then and there, and gained so rapidly in strength that I 
was an astonishment to my family when I reached my 
home. Thus was the message "he that loseth his life for 
My sake shall save it" verified in my willingness to lose 
my life, if need be, for the good of others, and thus obey- 
ing God He placed one in my way who led me out into 

44 



SOWING THE SEED 

truth which has been a bulwark to my soul through life. 
Praise His Name! 

A short time after my return home I was invited to 
attend a meeting at the W. C. T. U. mission, just opened 
in the lower part of Main Street. I consented to go, not 
dreaming what my eyes would behold. When we went in 
I saw six or seven ladies sitting in line at the head of the 
meeting, and we were seated among them. The audience, 
which filled the hall completely, was composed of men and 
boys of all ages with hard, desperate, and some of them — 
despairing faces, such faces as I had never seen or ever 
dreamed of before. The sight filled me with trembling 
and dismay. One glance, and seeing so many eyes fixed 
upon me, I fixed my own upon the floor, and never raised 
them again the entire evening, inwardly wishing every 
moment that I was at home, and determining that if I 
once got safely out of that room, no one would ever catch 
me there again! I fancied that a riot or a fight must 
surely break out before the meeting closed, and it seemed 
to me that it would never end. I looked upon the leader 
and the women assisting her as something supernatural, 
their coolness and presence of mind in the midst of such a 
crowd of ex-criminals, drunkards and gamblers astonished 
me greatly; and their liberty in speaking and in prayer 
was equally amazing, as up to that time I had never heard 
a woman speak in public, not even on a lecture platform. 
Altogether it was like stepping into a new world. I 
reached home greatly relieved, feeling as if I had had a 
narrow escape from something terrible, I scarcely knew 
what. 

After a week or two had elapsed, however, and I had 
time to think quietly over the scenes of that evening, my 

45 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

interest became much aroused, and when the same friend 
called again and invited me to come down to the Mission 
once more, I decided to venture again hoping that I might 
in some way be of use, though I could not imagine how. 
As the meeting passed off in a very orderly way my fears 
were soon allayed, and when my friend asked me as we 
drove home that night if I would not like to give them one 
evening a week down there, I said: "I would, but what 
could I do ?" She replied : "Couldn't you lead the sing- 
ing?" "Yes," I said, "and I will gladly do that or help 
in any way I can." For had I not told Jesus that I would 
joyfully take any little corner He would condescend to 
give me if He would only let me do something to show my 
love for Him? 

Naturally, I had all my life felt drawn towards the poor, 
oppressed and down-trodden ones, and, as a child, invari- 
ably chose for my playmates some plain, unattractive child 
from a vastly different station in life, someone unnoticed 
in school by the wealthy and "upper ten" girls, much to 
the disgust of my family who were full of aristocratic 
ideas. I had always had also a longing to alleviate the 
distresses of the poor and needy, and admired those who 
gave their lives to the service of their less fortunate fellow 
beings. Consequently, I fell in line very quickly with the 
noble women of the W. C. T. U., and took my place in the 
ranks with keen delight. 

As I listened to the testimonies and addresses of these 
dear sisters, from time to time, I began to wonder why I, 
too, could not pour out my heart in testimony and prayer 
as freely as they, for I realized that I had had a more 
wonderful experience than any of them, having been 
healed as well as saved by the power of God. But when 

46 



SOWING THE SEED 

I desired to rise to testify, I seemed to be bound down to 
my chair and was helpless to stir. After repeated efforts 
I at last succeeded in reading a few verses one evening, 
but trembled so that my knees smote together and I was 
thrown into such nervous excitement, that I tossed on my 
bed the entire night without a particle of sleep, and each 
succeeding attempt only added to my sufferings until I 
felt myself the veriest slave to fear and longed to be free 
like the workers I saw about me. Waiting upon God to 
know the cause of this bondage, I found, to my astonish- 
ment, that it arose from pride and a miserable self-con- 
sciousness which wished to be noticed and applauded. I 
saw that I desired to speak as well as Sister N. or Sister 
G., and that it was because I constantly thought of myself 
and how I appeared, that I was thus bound. This humiliat- 
ing discovery brought me on my face before God, and I 
begged Him that henceforth I might "see no man save 
Jesus only," that I might be so occupied with Him that I 
would wholly forget self and my audience also, when I 
arose, that thus I might glorify Him and be used of Him 
in leading poor sinners to His cross. He answered that 
prayer and from that day led me rapidly out and on into 
most blessed and successful service. In a few short 
months I was placed in charge of a meeting and though 
obliged to write what I wished to say (for a few weeks,) 
I soon saw that there was no real liberty in this and 
threw my manuscript aside, trusting the Holy Spirit to 
bring to my mind what He would have me say. 

The poor slaves of strong drink and of every kind of 
sin soon began to crowd about me, and a hand-to-hand 
work with the hardest sinners now began, which proved 
far more helpful to me than any theological training which 

47 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

I could possibly have had, a discipline which fitted me for 
work among all classes of people, old or young, ignorant 
or educated. Many were the bitter disappointments over 
those whom I believed true, but here and there a jewel 
was rescued from the miry clay, and my joy over one such 
was akin to that among the angels in heaven. 

About this time I met for the first time my beloved and 
tried friend Carrie Judd (now Mrs. Geo. Montgomery,) 
who had been miraculously raised from a dying bed in 
answer to prayer, and, naturally, we sprang at once into 
the closest fellowship and a sweet affection born of God. 
Having stood alone in the city up to this time contending 
for the truth of Divine healing, it was indeed a joy and 
strength to have this sweet little friend daily at my side 
in the Master's work. 

Strange as it may seem, I never was permitted to enter 
any class for Bible study during these first years of ser- 
vice, but daily alone in my room I searched the Word, 
praying for light as I read, unconsciously doing the very 
best thing which I could have done, i. e., looking out the 
references and marginal notes all the way. This daily 
study of the Word was so hateful to the devil, that he 
strove in every possible way to prevent it by sending all 
sorts of interruptions, and by adroitly persuading me to 
defer my reading until night; then when night would 
come insinuating that I was too tired, and could not fix 
my mind upon it, etc., etc. 

Our housekeeper having died, I was left in charge of 
the house, which was of immense size and immediately 
filled up with relatives, as soon as it was known that I had 
the charge of it. I stood alone in their midst, the only 
witness for Christ, feeling deeply the pressure of unbelief 

48 



SOWING THE SEED 

around me. While trying to manage house, servants and 
my mission work as well, I was attacked by a very painful 
malady which caused me often to walk my room in secret, 
wringing my hands with pain. All eyes were upon me 
and I did so want to glorify God in my body before them, 
but after many days, when I could no longer endure the 
pain, I was forced to tell of my suffering, much to my 
chagrin, and to ask that my supper might be brought to 
my room as I was unable to go downstairs. Far into the 
night I wept before God pleading the promises, and with 
all my soul reminding Him as David did of old, "They 
will say unto me, where is now thy God ?" and how, unless 
He would heal me speedily, my testimony among them 
would seem but an idle tale and reproach thus be brought 
upon the cause so dear to my heart. Never in my Chris- 
tian experience have I had an eye more single to His 
glory. Aly own suffering was scarcely thought of, but 
oh ! to prove the faithfulness of my God in that unbeliev- 
ing house! Suddenly I felt I could ask no more and 
arose from my knees, all pain gone and slept peacefully 
the entire night. In the morning, to my unbounded joy, 
I found myself absolutely healed, not a vestige of the 
disease remaining! I at once told the particulars to all 
the family, my father included, which visibly affected them 
all, none being able to say aught against it. 

Soon after, a dancing party was proposed to be given in 
honor of one of the young girls visiting at the house. 
This sent me to my closet in great prayer for courage to 
take a stand against it, even though it would be a seeming 
discourtesy on my part and would, I knew, bring the 
wrath of some upon my head. Glory to the Name of 
Jesus, He did fill me with a holy boldness and enabled 

49 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

me to so speak to them, Avith tears, of the sin of worldli- 
ness and to so firmly refuse, while in charge of the house, 
to allow anything of the kind in it, that, though the young 
girl was indignant and spoke most vehemently against me 
to the others, one of the family said to her : "You shall 
not be allowed to say anything against her in my pres- 
ence, I only wish from my heart I was as true a Christian 
myself ; she has something which I know nothing of !" To 
which another replied: ''Neither will I allow a word to 
be said against her, I respect her for being so true to her 
convictions." When this conversation was repeated to 
me, I flew to my room with tears of joy, and praised God 
from an overflowing heart. For it was indeed quite a 
test of obedience and loyalty to Christ for one yet but a 
babe in the way. Oh ! for a church filled with Nehemiahs 
to meet every invitation of the tempter with the noble 
answer : "I am doing a great work so that I cannot come 
down!" (Neh. 6:3.) 

As I now look back upon these scenes, I wish that I had 
had still greater courage and faith to push the battle, for 
if I had, it may be that God would have then given me 
everyone of the souls of my much loved relatives under 
the same roof with me. This has been a weakness all 
through life which has often caused me great regret. The 
fear of doing or saying too much lest I should drive those 
whom I wished to help entirely away, I can now see, has 
been a snare of the devil into which I have too readily 
fallen. Men may hate us for it for a time, but we should 
never stop short of doing and saying all that God re- 
quires, and we have no right to relax our hold on any 
case until God has clearly said: 'Tt is enough." Many 
fail here through unwillingness to wait upon God until 

50 



SOWING THE SEED 

He has revealed unto them His will. The unsurrendered 
will shirks the cross, and says : ''Lord, is there not some 
easier way ?" Although two of the loved ones then under 
the sound of my voice are now in the silent grave, and I 
have reason to hope that with their dying breath they 
turned unto God, how many years of sin and sorrow un- 
speakable they might have escaped and what a blessed 
work each might have done for God, if I had only fol- 
lowed after them untiringly with my entreaties and tears 
until I saw them safe within the Fold! Truly "the fear 
of man bringeth a snare ; but whoso putteth his trust in 
the Lord shall be set on high." (Prov. 29:25 marg.) Oh 
may He grant me grace henceforth to be a "faithful and 
wise steward" over all committed to my trust ! 

While in the midst of this busy life I was suddenly 
brought to face a severe trial which fell like a thunder- 
bolt upon my head. My one constant cry to God had been 
that my father might be kept from falling into the snare 
of Spiritualism, which I clearly saw from the Word of 
God was of Satanic origin. Being a deep thinker, his 
restless mind was continually striving to peer into the 
mysteries both of the present and the future life, and as 
he was unwilling to bring God into the scene or to accept 
His written Word, he strove to find in spiritualism 
tangible proof of the immortality of the soul ; for, like all 
others, the idea that man at death must perish like the 
brute, was abhorrent to him. 

Fancy, then, my almost overwhelming grief when I 
was told by a kind friend (who tried to break the news 
gently) that he had for ten days been secretly married to 
a young woman known as a spiritualist medium ! For an 
instant my brain reeled, but quickly turning and throwing 

51 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

myself upon God, I was enabled to receive it quietly with- 
out saying "What doest Thou?" It seemed indeed a 
strange answer to all my prayers and I saw black, threat- 
ening clouds gathering over my home, and stormy waves 
whirling me out — I knew not whither. But oh, thank 
God, I was able by His amazing grace to prove to my 
distracted sisters and brother, as well as all the relatives 
who mourned over this fatal step, that the Eternal God 
was my refuge, and underneath me were the Everlasting 
Arms. For, although some actually took to their beds 
prostrated under the shock of this news, I went on my 
way quietly, still trusting in the God whose mysterious 
dealings I could not trace. At that time the promises were 
indeed my stay. I was also much comforted by the fol- 
lowing grand old poem written by Cowper, at a very 
dark time in his life : 

"God moves in a mysterious way 

His wonders to perform; 
He plants His footsteps in the sea, 
And rides upon the storm. 

Deep in unfathomable mines 

Of never failing skill, 
He treasures up His bright designs, 

And works His sovereign will. 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take : 

The clouds ye so much dread 
Are big with mercy, and shall break 

In blessings on your head. 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, 

But trust Him for His grace; 
Behind a frowning providence 

He hides a smiling face. 

52 



SOWING THE SEED 

His purposes will ripen fast 

Unfolding every hour: 
The bud may have a bitter taste 

But sweet will be the flower. 

Blind unbelief is sure to err, 
And scan His works in vain: 

God is His own interpreter. 
And He will make it plain." 



63 



FIERY TRIALS. 




"Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is 
to try you, as though some strange thing happened 
unto you, but rather rejoice, for as much as ye are 
made partakers of Christ's sufferings." (1 Peter 4:12.) 

FTER much prayer I decided to meet my 
dear father and his child wife (her age was 
twenty-three and his was seventy) lovingly 
J without a word of reproof, and went at 
once to my home to arrange everything for 
their reception. In the meantime the be- 
loved aunt, with whom I had spent a year 
in my childhood, and one of my sisters were 
raised up by the dear Lord to go to my father, unknown 
to me, and plead with him to make over a portion of his 
property to me at once, fearing that unless I was provided 
for then, I would be likely to be left without anything to 
live upon in case of his death. To this he consented, his 
wife signing the papers without any outward objection, 
whatever she may have felt in her heart. Astonished and 
deeply touched by this unlooked-for proof of the tender 
care of my God, I fell upon my knees and spreading the 
papers out before Him I solemnly dedicated the money to 
Him and to His service, praising Him for all His wonder- 
ful mercy towards me, His feeble child. At this time, I 
besought Him that whatever trials He might see fit to 
call me to pass through in the home He would grant me 
one request, that I might be spared the humiliation and 
anguish of having spiritualist manifestations or seances 



54 



FIERY TRIALS 

at the house, for it seemed to me that it would deprive me 
of my reason, if compelled to live in such an atmosphere. 
He mercifully answered that prayer. I felt no liberty to 
leave home, but wished to remain and strive to lead both 
my father and his beautiful, but misguided wife into the 
light of the Gospel of Christ. 

A year passed amid much conflict of soul, with no out- 
ward jar, but an undercurrent of dark plotting to wean my 
father from me by false reports of which I afterwards 
learned. Under a smiling exterior, this cruel work of 
deception was carried on during the entire year, especially 
in connection with my mission work which was cordially 
detested by them both, as, in spite of all my explanations, 
they were determined to think evil of it and that my 
motives, in going there, were not what I professed. In 
the meantime our old and trusty servants were, in a fit of 
caprice, discharged, and others substituted who dared not 
show me any favors under penalty of losing their posi- 
tions, so that gradually my place in the home became that 
of a stranger, and one whose best motives were looked 
upon with suspicion. This often drove me to my closet 
with bitter tears as I saw my father's love thus alienated, 
and that he was willing to listen to all sorts of idle tales 
concerning his child who was daily beseeching the Throne 
of Grace for his salvation, and who witnessed his down- 
ward course with unspeakable grief. 

At last there came a crisis. My father became more 
and more opposed to my work, and refused to allow any 
of the poor and the needy for whom I was laboring to 
come even to our door to consult with me in any way, and 
as it was now impossible for me to carry on the work of 
God any longer in peace, I determined to lay the matter 

55 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

before them both and say that if this opposition continued, 
I felt that I must go where I could obey God and pursue 
the work committed into my hands as He might lead me. 
How my heart thumped and fairly pounded in my breast 
as I went to their room where they sat together before 
the fire, and, as gently as possible, spoke to them of the 
blessed work among the fallen and the outcast, which lay 
so near my heart. I thought of Paul before Agrippa and 
Bernice, as I stood before them and saw conviction and 
guilt stamped upon their faces, and felt that they, like 
Agrippa, could have said: "Almost thou persuadest me 
to be a Christian." With a heart melting with love and 
sorrow, I asked that I might have their answer before 
retiring, and left the room. After a few hours, (which 
seemed like days) my father came to me and said that I 
might go on with the work if I chose, but that none of the 
cases would ever be permitted to come to the house. These 
cases were the converts of the Mission who sometimes 
wished to see me regarding needed employment or for 
counsel and help, and I felt as tender over them as a mother 
over her first-born child. Realizing that there was noth- 
ing before me but thickening plots and that I was indeed 
most unwelcome in the house, I replied that it would be 
best for me, I believed, to leave and find a home elsewhere. 
The following day in an unguarded moment while 
speaking to one in the house of the situation, confidentially 
— (and up to that moment no ear but that of my God had 
ever heard a word of complaint,) the conversation was 
listened to by an ear bent over the register above, and the 
long pent-up storm burst forth upon my head. White 
with rage the wretched woman cried: "I will now give 
you just twenty-four hours to get out of the house." To 

56 



FIERY TRIALS 

this I replied that I had been her truest friend, and had 
tried to lead her to Christ, as she knew, and that I had but 
one thing to regret during all the year we had lived to- 
gether, and that was the conversation which she had over- 
heard, which it would have been wiser to have left unsaid. 

All this excitement so affected my health that I was not 
able to leave at once as I would gladly have done, but for 
a week was confined to my room with only my Bible for a 
companion ; and there alone with God the battle was 
fought and won. My beautiful home was laid upon the 
altar — my father committed into God's hands, and the 
determination made to seek a boarding place as soon as 
my strength would permit. In the meantime my meals 
were brought up by the maid, and set down in absolute 
silence, day by day. As the end of the week drew near, 
I heard loud orders given by my father's wife to her, 
downstairs, to no longer make my bed nor wait upon me 
in any way. That night, well-nigh crushed and worn out 
with weeping, I laid my head upon my pillow with my 
precious Bible clasped to my breast; it seemed like a liv- 
ing friend and carried me through that last sad night in 
my dear old home, as nothing else could possibly have 
done. 

With the morning light I gathered strength to com- 
mence packing. Every little trinket of my childhood's 
happy days, every book, picture, ornament, in fact all my 
possessions were packed away, while the hot tears fell 
upon them as I laid them in the trunk. I might have writ- 
ten to the absent members of my family of all that I was 
passing through, and they would gladly have come to my 
help but this I well knew would only add fuel to the 
flame, and it seemed in my frail physical condition that I 

57 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

could bear no more excitement. When my father saw 
that I was actually about to leave, he urged me to recon- 
sider the matter and offered me a large sum of money if 
I would go to New York to live with my married sister, 
rather than look for a boarding place anywhere in the 
city. He also again urged me to abandon my mission 
work, saying that he feared I would ruin my reputation 
going down into such a degraded place so much, and, be- 
sides all that, he had learned that already some considered 
me insane on the subject of religion ! To which I replied : 
** Father, I know that my highest earthly duty is to you, 
but there is one still higher, and if those two duties con- 
flict I must choose the higher." I also said that I could 
not leave the city, as the work to which God had called 
me lay here, adding that I felt sure He would take care 
of my reputation while I obeyed and served Him. I said, 
too, that the day would yet come when he would bitterly 
regret the stand he had taken. I did not allude to the 
treatment I had received. 

I must not omit to add that a few days previous to this, 
a lady whom I had met at Avon Springs, but who was 
really a stranger to me, called to see me, and with a sweet 
delicacy of feeling which I can never forget said that she 
had heard that I would like to find a boarding place, and 
without asking any questions whatever, went on to say 
gently : "My mother and I have two rooms on the third 
floor which, for the sake of having you with us, we will rent 
at a great reduction. We are in deepest sympathy with 
you and the work which you are engaged in, and I can 
assure you we would feel it an honor to have you in our 
home. You can carry on your work precisely as you wish, 
and we will be glad to assist you in it in any way we can." 

58 



FIERY TRIALS 

How kind of my Heavenly Father to thus open a door for 
me with His own dear hand ! I was thus saved from the 
anxiety and weariness of searching all over the city, and 
led where He knew that the work which He had placed 
in my hands would be rapidly advanced, and my own sore 
heart so comforted and cheered ! Before she left the house 
I had agreed to take the rooms. 

Feeling the persecution unbearable and that I must by 
some means obtain some sleep, or I should not be able to 
keep on my feet, I went to a near neighbor, a Christian 
woman, and asked if I could spend the night at her house, 
saying as little as possible of what had occurred. I was 
warmly welcomed and treated with such sweet and gentle 
consideration, that it was like a cup of cold water to a 
fainting traveller in the desert. She will in nowise lose 
her reward. Sleep was mercifully given to my exhausted 
body, and, with a grateful heart, on the following morn- 
ing I took the early train for Lewiston, where I knew a 
warm welcome always awaited me at the home of my be- 
loved aunt, who had promised my dying mother that she 
would stand by and befriend me while she lived, whatever 
might come. Here I remained for six weeks until the 
rooms I had engaged were ready for me, in the meantime 
reading and praying with both my aunt and uncle, and re- 
joicing in seeing them turn to God. Spiritualism had made 
terrible inroads in their home also, but in answer to my 
agonized prayer it was forever abandoned, and I believe 
that both passed away trusting in Christ. 

At last the day came when I must move into my new 
home among strangers. My trunks were still at my 
father's house. With a Christian friend on one side and 
my dear sister on the other, I left the luxurious home of 

59 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

my childhood with its luscious fruits and lovely flowers, 
its velvet lawns and majestic shade trees, and walked 
quietly out to the carriage without a tremor or a tear. 
The battle had been fought and won. I now seemed up- 
held by a mighty, unseen Hand. My poor father, pale 
as death, went out to the carriage with me ; I kissed him 
and was rapidly whirled away. Oh, my adorable Savior ! 
It was all for Thee ! Was it not just a little taste of Thine 
own bitter cup ? 

"And He hath said, How beautiful the feet! 

The feet so weary, travel-stained, and worn — 
The feet that humbly, patiently have borne 
The toilsome way, the pressure, and the heat. 

"The feet not hasting on with winged might, 
Nor strong to trample down the opposing foe; 
So lowly, and so human, they must go 

By painful steps to scale the mountain height. 

'With weary human feet He, day by day. 

Once trod this earth to work His acts of love; 
And every step is chronicled above 
His servants take to follow in His Way." 



60 




VL 

NEW SCENES. 

UCH a kind, sympathetic greeting awaited 
me at the boarding house, that my heart 
was deeply touched. I was shown to two 
small rooms on the third floor which were 
to serve as a sitting-room and bedroom, 
which I speedily arranged to look as 
cheery as possible, and after a busy day of 
settling in my new quarters, laid my weary 
head upon my pillow and fell into a peaceful, dreamless 
sleep, from which I did not awake until aroused by the 
ringing of the rising bell in the morning. 

The house was located within walking distance of the 
Mission, and as my new-found friends, true to their 
promise, gave me absolute liberty to receive as many of 
the poor and needy, as well as young converts, at my 
room as I wished, my work now began in earnest. All 
classes and ages flocked to my little sitting-room for con- 
versation, prayer and religious instruction ; and no matter 
how vile and sunken in sin, nor how filthy their clothing, 
they were freely admitted and made welcome by the dear 
family who had so kindly taken me in. It was most touch- 
ing to see how my blessed Lord moved upon the hearts of 
all in the house, so that from the cook in the kitchen to 
the head of the family, one seemed to vie with the other 
in kind attentions to me, and in giving both money and 
clothing to the poor men struggling up out of the depths 
of sin who were without means, home, or friends, and 
whom I was striving to lead to Christ. 



61 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Never during all the time spent in this boarding house, 
did I receive so much as a look of disapproval from any 
inmate, but, on the contrary, every possible encourage- 
ment in the work given me to do. This afforded great 
comfort to my bleeding heart. For looks of coldness and 
suspicion, I now had smiles of loving sympathy, and the 
most implicit confidence placed in all that I did and said. 
I am sure I could not have found a house in the city where 
my work would have been more favored in every way. 
Certainly very few boarders would have remained where 
poor, wretched beings, often covered with vermin, were 
allowed to come and go continually, unless they were 
themselves interested and engaged in the work, which 
these persons were not. 

I dwell upon this to show how sweetly the Lord pro- 
vides for those who trust and obey Him. When I left my 
home, in a sense, I left like Abraham "not knowing 
whither I went," but willing to meet even greater persecu- 
tions, if need be, in the place appointed ; but lo ! He led 
me forth "into green pastures and beside still waters" and 
in one week's time so completely weaned my heart from 
the lovely home I had left, that I could walk by it (which 
I did a few days afterward) and look upon it as unmoved 
as if I had never lived in it! Marvelous grace! And 
although all my life accustomed to fine horses and car- 
riages which were always at my disposal, and many serv- 
ants to minister to my slightest wish, also to a table loaded 
with the luscious fruits and fresh vegetables from our 
own garden, I can truly say that I never saw the time 
when I missed any of these things, but was contented and 
happy and grateful to be permitted to go on with the 
Master's work in peace. 

62 



NEW SCENES 

The only cloud in my life was the thought of my dear 
father left under such evil influences in his old age, and 
other members of my family in distant cities still without 
Christ. Compelled occasionally to go to the house to 
collect interest due me, I was met with freezing coldness 
and disdain, even as if I were the very "offscouring of the 
earth," which served to open the wound afresh, but only 
filled me with pitying love in return. The Spirit of Jesus 
within me constantly prayed "Father, forgive them, they 
know not what they do." 

It was during this year that I first heard of a little 
meeting held on Friday afternoons at a certain Methodist 
church called a "meeting for the promotion of holiness," 
and a dear brother much interested in that subject invited 
me to attend. I had heard of the experience of holiness 
or sanctification sometime before leaving home, and in so 
remarkable a way, that I feel it will be for the glory of 
God to relate the particulars just here. 

One summer day in the providence of God, (not by 
chance) I was left entirely alone in the house for the day. 
Such a thing had never occurred before in my life, as both 
servants were never allowed to be absent at the same time. 
But it was all divinely ordered on this particular day. Up 
to this time I had experienced in my own soul the strug- 
gles between the flesh and the Spirit, common to all merely 
justified souls. I was pressing hard after God, and eager- 
ly stepping out into all the light as rapidly as it was 
revealed, but, having no one to instruct me in "the deep 
things of God," I had never as yet heard the subject of 
sanctification mentioned, neither had I seen in the Word 
of God my full privilege in Christ, or clearly understood 
all that had been purchased for me on the Cross. I was 

63 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

yet a babe in the way, though intensely in earnest, and 
truly a hungry soul. I could not comprehend why, in 
spite of all my deep desire to please God in all things, I 
would still occasionally come under the power of sin, 
momentarily ; and though I always confessed to God with 
true repentance, still the complete victory was not gained. 
I was amazed at these defeats, and pressed on with re- 
newed watchfulness but only to stumble again and again ,^ 
until on this very day of which I have just spoken, I had ^ 
come to a place of desperation, and after all had left the 
house, I threw myself on the lounge in a fit of weeping, 
almost tempted to charge God with unfaithfulness, and 
wondering if there was anyone in the whole great city 
who could give me the help I needed. I could not have 
defined, myself, what it was that I did need, but oh ! how 
sore my heart was, and how perplexed and discouraged! 
I said within myself: "If the salvation of Christ cannot 
do more for me than this, it is a failure !" And yet the 
mere idea of entertaining that thought, for one moment, 
was so unspeakably distressing to me, that I was well- 
nigh distracted. What should I do ? Where and to whom 
could I go? I thought of my pastor, but felt instinctively 
that, though he was a good man, true and upright, yet 
he could not help me at this point. Something seemed to 
tell me that I would find him in the same position as my- 
self. (This was not the pastor who had baptized and 
received me into the church.) 

While thus mourning and weeping in much anguish of 
mind, I heard a quick step coming up the walk, and, peep- 
ing through the closed blinds saw a man rapidly advancing 
towards the house, humming softly a snatch of a tune as 
he came, I hesitated about answering the bell, feeling a 

64 



NEJV SCENES 

little timid about opening the door lest he should discover 
that I was alone in the house. But, after looking through 
the screen door and perceiving a kind, pleasant face smil- 
ing at me, I felt reassured and inquired his errand. He 
said he was looking for clocks to repair, and asked if 
there were any in the house that needed mending. Like a 
flash it came to my mind that there was the French clock 
on the mantel in the sitting-room which was out of order, 
and told him he might come in and look at it. While he 
examined it, a strange presentiment seized me that he had 
come for a double purpose and that he was about to say 
something wonderful, I scarcely knew what ! I began to 
tremble with emotion. Presently he said that he would be 
obliged to take the works home, and then, still lingering, 
went to the table and picked up a Catholic book which 
had been lent to my father's wife. I hastened to explain 
that I was not a Catholic, whereupon he smilingly replied : 
"It doesn't make so much difference what we are, if we 
only lead a holy life." A holy life! How those words 
thrilled my soul ! 

He then took a testament out of his pocket and com- 
menced to read from the third chapter of first John. When 
he came to the words : "He that abideth in Him (Christ) 
sinneth not," I listened with wonder and great joy. Was 
it then possible to so abide in Him, as to be kept from sin ? 
My unknown visitor read on, explaining as he went, and 
closed with his own experience of sanctification, which 
was a most thrilling one. As he talked I wept and won- 
dered, and felt that he was as truly a messenger sent to me 
that very day of God, as if an angel from heaven had ap- 
peared before me. He had never seen or heard of me, 
knew nothing of my longings and yet was thus wonder- 

65 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

fully led of the Spirit to unfold to me the very thing which 
I most hungered to hear ! 

Can you doubt, dear reader, that this interview was 
ordered of the Lord, and that He removed everyone from 
the house so that our conversation and prayer should not 
be interrupted? Oh He does indeed count our tears and 
witness our struggles, and comes to our deliverance in His 
own wonderful time and way. After a while I gathered 
courage to tell him of my experience of salvation and 
healing, and my present longings, to which he replied: 
"My sister, if you have been able thus to trust Him for 
your body, surely you can for your soul ;" then kneeling 
he prayed with me long and earnestly, committing me to 
the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit, and took 
his leave, saying that he would bring me some helpful 
books to read in a few days. This was the first I had 
ever heard of the doctrine of sanctification, and the inter- 
view proved a crisis in my life. After he left I walked 
the house like one in a dream, and finally went to my room 
and fell on my knees, renewing my consecration ; and seek- 
ing for light from the Word I opened to these words : "I 
will betroth thee unto Me forever, yea I will betroth thee 
unto Me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving 
kindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto 
Me in faithfulness, and thou shalt know the Lord." (Hosea 
2:19-20.) These glorious words were but imperfectly 
comprehended then, but I believed they were for me and 
would yet be fulfilled, and a deep joy filled my soul to 
know that Christ had purchased a full and complete salva- 
tion for me, such as I had never heard or conceived of 
before, and I was determined to seek Him until this work 
was wrought in my own soul. 

66 



NEW SCENES 

The books promised were brought a few days later, and 
proved very helpful and encouraging. They were "The 
Life of John Fletcher," and "The Life of Hester Ann 
Rogers." In these two saintly souls I saw a type of piety 
which filled me with still stronger desires to press on after 
all that Christ had been made of God unto me, assured 
that, as He is "no respecter of persons," He was willing 
to do for me what He had done for them. I was in this 
attitude of expectation, entirely convinced as to the truth 
of the doctrine though not clear as to the way, when the 
invitation to attend the afternoon "holiness meeting" 
above mentioned was given me. This I gladly accepted 
and found there a little company of godly people, mostly 
women, whose testimonies of full salvation thrilled my 
soul. The meeting was led by the Pastor who truly gave 
us the "finest of the wheat." It was while attending these 
meetings that I was enabled to step out by simple faith, 
and receive Jesus as my complete Savior. I was helped 
into the light by a few earnest words spoken to me person- 
ally by the Pastor who said : "It is just to trust Jesus to 
keep you from sin moment by moment ; you have only to 
take one step at a time. Surely you can fully trust Him 
to keep you for this minute, can you not, and then for the 
next?" At this I let go of every doubt and fear, and en- 
tered upon a simple, blessed life of trust, filled with a joy 
and peace I had never known before. 

Soon after, I determined to change my church relations, 
as my soul obtained very little food in the fashionable 
church to which I belonged, and having once heard full 
salvation preached, I could never be satisfied with any- 
thing short of it. After much prayer I removed my mem- 
bership to the Methodist church, in which the holiness 

67 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

meeting was held, whose Pastor was indeed filled with the 
Holy Ghost. Here I obtained some advantages which 
women are not afforded in some denominations, i. e., lib- 
erty to speak or pray as led by the Spirit ; and found both 
the class meeting and prayer meeting, as well as ^he 
preaching services, real means of grace. Thus, planted in 
good soil and under powerful preaching continually, my 
soul made rapid strides in grace and the year flew by, 
crowded with blessed work for Christ, and with rich ex- 
periences of His saving power. 

The part of my work which I most enjoyed was a Bible 
class of laboring men which I had been led to gather to- 
gether in the Mission. This was my first attempt at 
teaching, and as I was thus far only self-taught in the 
Word, it seemed to me almost like presumption to act as 
teacher to others. But I dared not disobey, consequently 
I called together six men among the converts at the Mis- 
sion, and invited them to meet me on Saturday evening to 
study the Word. They came, dressed in their best attire 
and listened with evident interest, but I passed a night of 
sore temptation, the enemy assuring me that they could 
see how little I knew of the Bible, and that they would 
never come again, etc. Most of the night was passed in 
weeping and prayer. They continued coming, however, 
and the numbers increased until finally there were fre- 
quently from fifty to sixty men in the class which had 
then been moved to the house of one of the members. 

Shortly after my conversion I saw from the Word that 
we are commanded when we make a feast to call the poor, 
the maimed, the blind, for they cannot recompense us, 
rather than our friends, brethren, kinsmen or rich neigh- 
bors, lest they also bid us again, and a recompense be 

68 



NEW SCENES 

made us, (see Luke 14:12-14) so that I dared no longer 
make such feasts as I had formerly done. Each Christmas 
these dear men of my class were invited to as sumptuous 
a feast as my purse would afford. The entire evening 
was passed at the table exchanging gifts, witnessing and 
singing for Jesus, and praising Him for His wonderful 
salvation. It was an inspiring sight, as they all sat about 
the table, neatly dressed (for after giving up their sinful 
habits, God always prospered them in temporal things,) 
and with faces beaming with joy and love; a sight never 
to be forgotten ! 

One Christmas Eve we assembled for our annual feast, 
and when supper was ended as we sat singing some of our 
favorite hymns, such a melting influence of the Spirit came 
upon us that we were constrained to kneel in prayer. As 
one after another led in prayer, suddenly a cry, more like 
a wail than anything else, rose above all the other voices. 
By this time the Spirit had so fallen upon us that all were 
praying or praising God aloud, but far above all rose this 
one thrilling cry: "Oh! God have mercy upon me!'' 
After listening for some time, the Lord said to me "Go 
and lay your hand upon his head ;" so I went over to that 
corner whence the cries proceeded, and a wonderful sight 
met my gaze. There, not kneeling but fairly crouching 
in the comer by the table was a man, the very picture of 
terror, trembling like an aspen leaf, the perspiration stand- 
ing out in great beads upon his brow, his whole frame 
shaking with sobs as he cried out: "Oh God, save me 
from this pit just yawning at my feet !" 

I looked upon him in amazement, never had I seen such 
conviction of sin as this before, and I never have since. It 
was a lame man who had been professing conversion for 

69 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

some time in the class, but whom I had always doubted. 
Finally I gained his attention and gave him some of the 
promises, but as his anguish continued I thought within 
myself : "This man is bound by the devil so that he can- 
not get free." Laying my hand upon his head, I asked in 
the name of Jesus that the devil might be rebuked and 
driven from him. In a few moments his cries ceased and 
he broke out singing: ''Hallelujah ! 'tis done;" etc., and 
suddenly sprang to his feet and, leaping up in the air, he 
came down with a force which shook the room. The men 
looked on with astonishment and some began to reprove 
him, but he continued leaping and shouting, saying : "Why 
boys, just see me walk, I'm healed, I'm healed, and I'm 
saved. Glory to God !" We then remembered that he had 
walked with a cane for a year, and the difficulty which he 
had in mounting the stairs that very evening, and here he 
was leaping on that foot, with tears of joy running down 
his face! 

I then saw that God had done for him more than I had 
asked, or at least more than I had realized that my prayer 
involved. I did not then understand as I now do, that to 
cast the devil out of one in the name of Jesus, will set the 
captive free in body as well as soul ! The Holy Spirit in- 
dited my prayer according to the will and mind of God, 
and the answer came swiftly, delivering the entire man. 
He went about with a glowing face shaking hands with all 
in the room saying : "What a Savior ! but oh ! how I've 
crucified Him !" At midnight I, accompanied by my lady 
assistant, withdrew, leaving them all standing in a group 
with the healed man in the centre, all praising God with a 
loud voice, singing one hymn of praise after another, with 
shining faces, fairly radiant with joy, — a scene for a 

70 



II 



NEW SCENES 

painter. When their meeting closed, the healed man left 
his cane behind him as a memento, and ran lightly down 
the stairs without assistance. 

After continuing in this work for several years, I was 
led to open a Mission of my own in the slums, my class all 
deciding to go with me and assist in the work. Finding 
that the Canal Street Mission was about to be vacated, we 
concluded to take it, paying all that we could towards 
rent, etc., and trusting in God to supply any deficiency. 
Accordingly the hall was fitted up nicely and made to 
look as bright and attractive as possible, and appropriately 
dedicated, the large audience crowding both hall and side- 
walk, reaching even to the opposite side of the street. 

Here in the midst of the wild revelry on every hand, the 
coarse songs of the drunkard, the shouting of the dancers 
whirling madly on night after night in the brothels and 
"dives," the hollow, reckless laughter sounding often like 
that of a maniac, we stood in the Mission door and sang 
our sweetest songs of Jesus and His love. And the ter- 
rible procession marched by continually, brazen women of 
all ages, painted and gaudily attired, shamelessly beckon- 
ing into their vile dens the wretched men and boys who, 
like silly flies, were easily caught in the net spread for 
their feet. Oh ! the unspeakable horrors of Canal Street, 
and the surrounding neighborhood! Saloons, gambling 
dens and brothels in one unbroken line, and our one little 
light-house shining alone in the midst of the breakers. 
Surely nothing save the very love and patience of Jesus 
can enable the worker to stand year after year in these 
horrible cesspools of iniquity and faint not. How heart- 
rending to see the little children running in and out of 
these haunts with pails of beer, familiar with every shade 

71 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

of vice and crime, their faces already old and hardened 
with sin! These little ones we quickly gathered into a 
Sunday School and Temperance Band, and every night 
in the year our friendly lights and cheerful songs invited 
the wanderer in. Eternity alone will reveal the sheaves 
gathered. 

With my lady helpers I went from house to house giv- 
ing out tracts, singing, praying and reading the Word of 
God, always received with respect and often with tears of 
penitence by the wretched inmates. The sights and sounds 
and sickening smells which greeted us as we climbed rick- 
ety, creaking stairs day by day in this house-to-house visi- 
tation, often so weighed down my spirit and exhausted my 
body, that, but for a Hving faith in God, I should not have 
been able to either eat or sleep after reaching my home. 
But, thank God ! Mission work has its bright as well as its 
discouraging side. It was good to see my faithful men 
standing by so heroically in the thickest of the fight, and 
to watch their steady growth in grace and increasing love 
for the Word ; and then, too, we here and there caught a 
fish in our net which caused us joy such as the angels 
know. And our meetings were oftentimes of such 
spiritual power that we were melted into tears of thank- 
fulness over our rich privilege in being permitted to shine 
for Jesus in so dark and barren a spot. 

One terrible winter night, I wended my way through 
the blinding storm across the "terrace" alone, scarcely ex- 
pecting to find a person in the hall, but anxious to stand at 
my post, at all events. That night a poor sailor, seventy 
years of age, found Christ. A year from that time he re- 
turned to the city and gave a glov/ing testimony, having 
walked faithfully on in the light during that time. At- 

72 



NEW SCENES 

tempting to reach my home that night the snow lay on an 
even level, not a person or a vehicle having ventured out ; 
the wind blew at a terrific rate and it was almost impos- 
sible to stand against it. I was obliged to wade in snow 
to my knees for some distance before reaching a car, but 
was fairly pulled along by one of the men of my class, and 
finally reached the house well-nigh exhausted. But the 
thought of having rescued one precious soul caused me 
to lay my weary body down that night with a joy and 
satisfaction which quickly banished from my mind all 
thought of the exposure and toil endured. "The love of 
Christ constraineth us." It is pitiable to see even among 
so-called consecrated Christians how few there are who 
will brave a rain or snow storm even for Jesus' sake and 
His perishing sheep. Oh, for a church all on fire with a 
holy zeal. His zeal, for precious souls ! Do we not read in 
1 Cor. 13:8, that "love never faileth"? 

My work in the Mission seemed to be almost wholly for 
men. And such men! Blear-eyed, coarse, besotted and 
vicious, and often with such desperate faces that I used 
really to wonder at myself, that I had no fear of them. 
Sometimes, however, we found in our audiences men, 
young and old, of gentle breeding, fine intellect and ex- 
cellent education, who had fallen through strong drink or 
gambling, until they had been cast off by family and 
friends, and, rushing recklessly on, had swiftly been 
whirled by the resistless current of evil into Canal Street. 
And Mission workers who have travelled in many lands 
say that they have never discovered any spot so vile. One 
evening while inviting sinners forward to the penitent 
bench at the W. C. T. U., among those who came I noticed 
a handsome boy, about nineteen years of age, with coal 

78 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

black hair and eyes, pale and haggard, who stood with 
the tears literally pouring down his face. As I passed 
into the inquiry room at the close of the meeting, I found 
him there awaiting me. His story was told amid many 
sobs and tears. A runaway boy, who, impatient of re- 
straint, had left kind parents, an excellent home, and all 
who loved him and wandered about, "spending his sub- 
stance in riotous living," until he found himself in a 
Southern city where he was stricken with yellow fever, 
and lay unconscious for many days. Weak and miserable, 
he finally made his way to this city, and the loving Savior 
whom he had so despised, led him into our meeting. That 
night, confessing all the bitter past, he sought and found 
pardon at the Cross, and after regaining strength and 
getting decently clothed, I had the joy of seeing him off 
on the train for his dear old home, where loving hearts 
awaited the long-lost child. 

One afternoon I was asked to go to the City Hospital 
to see a poor fallen girl who had broken her limb, and had 
been confined to her room for some time. Upon visiting 
her and inquiring gently as to her early home, I found 
that she had come from a respectable family in the city of 
S., but having been betrayed under promise of marriage, 
she ran away from home to conceal her shame, and for 
three years her family had obtained no clue to her where- 
abouts. After many visits, reading the Scriptures and 
praying with her, she was led to Christ, and finally, with 
many fears and forebodings, consented that I should write 
her broken-hearted mother of her repentance and con- 
version, and beg that she might be allowed to return to 
her home. The answer quickly came, warm from a true 
mother^s loving heart, bidding her to come at once, and 

74 



NEW SCENES 

telling of the welcome which awaited her, assuring her 
that her four brothers sent word to her, that if she would 
come she should never hear a word of reproach from 
them, nor any allusion to the past. As I read these tender 
words to her, the poor girl wept aloud. It was more than 
she had dared to hope for; such love completely melted 
her heart. The following day found us both on the train 
for S. As we neared the city, her courage nearly failed, 
but one look at the face of the kind brother who met us 
at the station reassured her, and soon amid mingled smiles 
and tears she was in her mother's arms. And the angels 
must have struck their harps anew that night, over this 
poor prodigal's return. How can I find words to describe 
my joy over this touching scene? Glory to the Lamb, 
whose blood washes whiter than snow! I trust I shall 
meet that dear ransomed one among His "Jewels" when 
He comes. 

Before leaving the subject of city mission work I wish 
to add that I had been deeply stirred regarding the tem- 
perance question several years before my conversion. 
Among the young men who frequently called at our house 
was one in whom all had entire confidence as an exem- 
plary Christian. 

At that time my father was in the habit of making wine 
every year from the currants which grew in our garden, 
and offering a glass, as a mere act of courtesy, to callers 
who came to the house. On New Year day, also, he fol- 
lowed the universal custom of offering it with refresh- 
ments. One summer evening after playing croquet with 
the young man mentioned above, wine and cake were 
served and he passed his glass to be filled a second 
time. 

75 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

A few days later, one of his relatives called and told me 
the astounding news that he had been drinking heavily for 
a long time, but that the family had endeavored to conceal 
it from his friends, until now his employer had decided to 
discharge him as he had again been found intoxicated in 
the office and he considered his case a hopeless one and 
could bear with him no longer. She said that she had no 
doubt that the wine which had been offered him at our 
house that evening had again awakened the appetite which 
he was desperately struggling against, and that on his way 
home he had gone into a saloon as the result of it. He 
had contrived to keep sober when coming to our house 
from time to time, so that no trace of liquor had ever been 
discovered about him, and this was indeed a great sur- 
prise to us all. And my hand had held out the tempting 
glass to this struggling soul ! 

I was filled with horror and remorse, and that hour re- 
solved that I would never offer another glass of anything 
intoxicating to any human being while I lived. And I 
never have. My mother had always taken a noble stand 
regarding the balls and parties which were given in our 
home, refusing to allow wine on the table, (for which she 
was often ridiculed) and it was now decided to banish it 
entirely on New Year day and all other occasions. 

I have always felt that I might myself have become 
ensnared by this subtle foe and have acquired an appetite 
for wines and liquors if I had not defied the orders of a 
physician who advised an eggnog, with whisky, between 
each meal and sherry wine with my dinner. That advice 
was followed until I realized that my head was in a con- 
tinual fever, nerves even more excited than before he came 
and appetite gone ; above all I awoke to the fact that if, for 

76 



I 



NEW SCENES 

any reason, my glass of sherry was forgotten at dinner I 
missed it and was evidently becoming fond of it. I shall 
always have reason to praise God for courage given me to 
throw all stimulants out of the window with the determ- 
ination never to taste liquors of any kind again for medi- 
cinal purposes or any other. 

After my conversion and entering upon mission work I, 
with the rest of the workers associated with me for the 
sake of our influence over others, signed the total abstin- 
ence pledge which included wine, beer and cider. That 
pledge has indeed been most sacredly kept and will be, by 
the grace of God, while life shall last. Some Christian 
people consider the use of sweet cider quite harmless and 
freely indulge in it but I wish to say long experience in 
Gospel temperance work has entirely convinced me that 
it but awakens a desire for something stronger, that it is 
but a stepping stone to hard cider and then on down 
through the awful catalogue which ends in ruin of soul 
and body eternally. 

Oh dear, dear friends, why can we not keep on the safe 
side of the line? Would that I could cry out in trumpet 
tones against the infernal traffic in liquor ( for such indeed 
it is), tones which might reach the uttermost ends of the 
earth! "Hell hath enlarged herself" with the helpless 
victims who have been swept away by this frightful tide 
of iniquity. I have found the pledge useful only in the 
case of those who have not the appetite as yet formed, and 
would advise all such, both old and young, to sign it in 
order that their position may be clearly defined and also 
that they may continually exert an influence over those 
whom they meet who are just beginning to venture on 
dangerous ground and could then be persuaded to pledge 

77 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

themselves to total abstinence before becoming bound by 
chains of appetite, perhaps never to be broken. Many who 
are not as yet willing to accept Christ may thus be at least 
prevented from becoming drunkards and save both their 
families and themselves untold shame and misery. But I 
am persuaded that there is absolutely nothing in this wide 
world to offer the drunkard but the Gospel of the Lord 
Jesus Christ. "If any man be in Christ he is a new 
creature." 

Among the many exciting scenes of those days, I will 
mention one trip which I was called to take into the coun- 
try ten miles from the city of L., to carry on revival 
meetings during the illness of the pastor of a Methodist 
church. Though engaged in evangelistic work at the time 
in my own church, after receiving several letters and tele- 
grams, and meeting each with a refusal, I finally was 
visited by one of the Official Board, sent in by the congre- 
gation with an urgent plea to come to their help ; I de- 
cided to go. The weather was ten degrees below zero, 
with a terrible gale blowing, drifting the snow w^hich was 
falling rapidly and making it very dangerous to venture 
on the train. My friends all besought me not to think of 
going until the storm had abated ; but after looking to God 
in prayer, thinking of the seeking souls waiting for some 
helpful hand to lead them into the light, the revival fire 
burning and no Shepherd to lead the wandering sheep 
into the Fold, and fearing that if I were to delay, the 
interest might die out, I told the Christian brother who 
had come for me, that I would take the morning train the 
next day, he agreeing to have a covered sleigh awaiting 
me at L., to take me to the town where I was expected. 

The storm was raging still more furiously with a lower 

78 



NEW SCENES 

temperature when I started for the station, but I was 
enveloped in furs from head to foot, with a hot brick for 
my feet, and, looking constantly to God for His protecting 
care, I reached L. in safety, and found the covered sleigh 
awaiting me as promised. The gentleman who had come 
for me went on ahead in his cutter, with his horse blanket 
over his head, so that only his eyes peered out in the 
storm. After riding for a few miles the violent pitching 
around of the sleigh over drifts, and in and out of pitch- 
holes, made me exceedingly sea-sick. The curtains were 
all drawn down tightly lest the wind should blow the 
sleigh over, and I could not make the driver hear me. 
Lifting my heart to God I said : "Now Lord show forth 
Thine Almighty power by removing this sickness this very 
moment," and immediately a strange warmth and new life 
rushed through my whole body, followed by a peculiar 
feeling like an overturning of something in the stomach, 
and that was the end of the nausea. Praise His Name! 
Suddenly I heard the driver shouting and the sleigh stop- 
ped, one of the curtains was lifted and the driver and my 
friend with faces purple with the cold looked in at me 
anxiously. "I will not risk my horses, to say nothing of your 
life and my own by going another step," said the driver, 
"the road will be still worse between here and N. and we 
would sink in the drifts with this double sleigh. You 
will be obliged to get out and go into this house and stay 
until to-morrow or next day, when the road is opened up 
and the storm over." My friend said he felt that he could 
get through with his cutter if I dared brave the cold and 
go along with him, but I concluded to stop at the house 
and send on word to the church where I could be found 
when they could send for me. 

79 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

I was most ungraciously received by the lady in the 
house who seemed to feel my presence a great annoyance, 
which of course added to my desire to reach my destina- 
tion as quickly as possible. After having some dinner I 
went to the tiny room assigned me, and sat down to con- 
sider the situation. "Why can I not ask the Lord to cause 
the storm to cease?" I thought. "Would it not be for 
His glory that I should meet my appointment, and that 
His work should not be delayed ?" I felt sure that there 
would be some at the church in spite of the storm. Fall- 
ing on my knees I asked in simple, child-like faith that God 
might at once cause the temperature to rise, and the bliz- 
zard to cease, so that before evening the friends at N. 
might be able to send for me, reminding Him that when 
He rebuked the storm-tossed sea of Galilee, "immediately 
there was a great calm," and begged that for His own 
glory, and the advancement of His cause, He would now 
interpose in my behalf. Dear reader, I had no more than 
risen from my knees and gone to the window than I saw 
that it had ceased snowing, the sun had burst through the 
clouds, and the wind had entirely ceased ! 

"Tis the very same Jesus, 
The wonder-working Jesus, 
Oh, praise His Name! He's just the same, 
The very same Jesus." 

This glorious answer to prayer filled me with adoring 
love — I cannot say wonder, for I fully expected Him to 
do precisely what I asked. 

In the course of the afternoon, hearing sleigh-bells, I 
looked out and lo ! there was a two-seated sleigh driven by 
an elderly gentleman, and a man going on ahead with a 
shovel clearing the path for the horse. Yes ! they were 

80 



NEW SCENES 

coming for me, so bundling myself well, and bidding adieu 
to my cross-grained hostess I joyfully sprang into the 
sleigh and found that the temperature also had so abated 
(as I had asked) that, although in an open sleigh, I did 
not even require my veil over my face any of the way! 
Reaching N. in time for supper, I was ushered into a 
parlor where a beautiful bright fire, flowering plants and 
singing birds bade me welcome, and not only met my ap- 
pointment on time in the evening, but found a church 
completely filled with eager listeners, and from that night 
a mighty revival broke out in which I continued working 
for many weeks, with audiences which packed the church 
to overflowing, and many professed saving faith in the 
Lord Jesus. Thus will God meet and honor an obedient 
faith which surmounts every obstacle at His call. 

One afternoon I was summoned into the parlor to see 
my father, whom I found in a state of great excitement, 
deathly pale and trembling so that his teeth chattered 
together. He brought me the astonishing news that his 
wife had gone to New York to visit a friend, and a tele- 
gram had come announcing her death ; he knew no partic- 
ulars, but was hastening to the train to go for her remains. 
He asked me if I would go up to the house and take charge 
of it until after the funeral, and hurried away. On ar- 
riving at the house I found everything in disorder with 
two slatterly servants in charge (the old faithful ones 
had been discharged for no reason whatever), and for two 
days found enough to do to make it presentable for the 
funeral. When my father arrived, I met him at the 
station and learned that the poor girl who had been my 
enemy had come to a terrible end, having thrown herself 
either off of the roof or out of the window on the stone 

81 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

pavement below, and was picked up dead ! Her back and 
both limbs were broken, but neither face nor hands were 
in the least bruised, and she was even more beautiful in 
death than in life. As I stood beside her casket, tears of 
pity and Divine love rolled down my cheeks that one so 
young and beautiful should have come to so sad a fate. 
How thankful I now felt that no unkind word had ever 
been spoken to her by me, and that, by the grace of God, 
no feelings of revenge or enmity towards her had ever 
filled my heart. How often Jesus would have gathered 
her but she would not ! 

The day after the funeral, my poor father, worn with 
excitement and grief, called me to him and with a voice 
trembling with emotion said: "My daughter, if you feel 
that you can be happy here, I would like to have you re- 
main and take charge of the house. You may hire such 
servants as you wish, and pay them what you think best ; 
you may have any of your friends whom you wish to visit 
you" — and then he added, struggling with his tears — 
"and if you want to continue in the work in which you 
are engaged, I am willing that you should do so !" How 
wonderful it all seemed ! I thought of Joseph, lifted from 
the pit to the throne. From this house I had been driven 
just one year ago this very week, regarded as a stranger 
and an outcast; now I was recalled and everything laid 
at my feet ! It seemed a plain Christian duty to remain, 
as my father was nearly blind and had no one to minister 
to him in his old age. Accordingly I bade farewell to the 
much loved friends at the boarding house, and was soon 
deliehtfully settled once more in my dear old home. 

Learn from all this, dear unsaved one, whose eye may 
fall upon this page, how terrible the end of those who 

82 



NEW SCENES 

serve "the god of this world," the devil, (2 Cor. 4:4.) 
See also how the Lord Jesus will sooner or later vindicate 
His own. It is a dangerous thing to mock at and oppose 
His anointed ones. I now began to redouble my efforts 
to lead my father to the cross, but being constantly re- 
pulsed I went on my way in silence, striving to perform every 
duty faithful as unto the Lord. In the meantime His work 
prospered in my hands, though not as I longed to see it. 
I still lacked "the anointing which abideth" and knew not 
how to obtain it ; though at times conscious of the power 
of the Holy Ghost upon me, there was not the full victory 
over sin which it was my privilege to enjoy. True, my 
experience was far in advance of my early Christian life, 
and was in the main a victorious one, but still I sighed for 
an unction and power in service, which as yet I did not 
possess. 



83 




VII. 

A LESSON ON COMMITTAL. 

S THE work proceeded in my men's class 
the wives and sisters of the members began 
to drop in, and finally I decided to allow 
any women to join it who wished to do so. 
One Sunday afternoon I noticed among 
the visitors a young girl who appeared, 
from her dress and bearing, to have come 
from a respectable family, and who had 
evidently come in with a friend simply out of curiosity to 
see the work. 

She proved to be not only unsaved but also a hopeless 
invalid, being a victim of that terrible disease epilepsy, as 
well as organic heart disease, and several other serious 
difficulties. In fact, she was a physical wreck; and though 
so young, life offered nothing to her save constant suffer- 
ing of body and mind. She was deathly pale, of slender 
build, her weight not exceeding ninety pounds. Being 
very kindly received she continued coming, and frequently 
called at my rooms also to see me. I discovered her to be 
the sister of a young man who had been saved a short 
time before at a service which I held in a certain church 
in this city, and it was through his advice that she was led 
to come to my class, he feeling sure that she would be 
welcome there, though liable to fall any moment in one of 
the fearful spasms to which she was subject. 

Now, if there was one thing in the world which, more 
than any other, struck absolute terror to my heart, it was 
to see anv one in an attack of this kind, and as she fre- 



84 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

quently was thus overcome by the power of Satan while 
in the meetings I began to question the will of God in the 
matter. My deep sympathy for her in her great affliction 
caused me to shrink from asking her to leave our meet- 
ings, especially as she now seemed to be seeking the Lord. 
Alone in my room I knelt and said : "Dear Lord, no mat- 
ter what I suffer over this case if there is any thing I can 
do to help her, any thing which Thou wilt have me do, 
show it to me by sending her here to-day." Before I had 
risen from my knees there came a knock at my door ; upon 
opening it, to my astonishment, there she stood! From 
that time I could no longer question as to my duty in the 
matter, and allowed her to come and go as freely as she 
liked, striving constantly to lead her to Jesus for salvation 
and healing. 

Not long after this I was shown that the Lord would 
have me go to housekeeping and take in some one, I knew 
not whom, who needed my help. When shown that it was 
this afflicted one of whom I write, such a conflict began in 
my soul as my pen fails to describe. I could not believe 
that God would lay this burden upon me in addition to the 
heavy work in the slums and in the churches and also my 
large correspondence, many callers, etc. I felt that to 
undertake it would surely prostrate me completely in my 
bed. It was not death I feared, but I did indeed dread re- 
turning to the hopeless invalidism of the past, and I could 
see nothing else before me. Indeed it seemed to me that 
to live in continual terror would soon deprive me of reason 
itself. 

In the midst of the struggle I was taken alarmingly ill 
and removed to the "Faith Rest" of my friend Carrie 
Judd. My friends settled the house which I had rented 

85 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

and moved me into it, and for seven long months I was 
laid aside from all service and many doubted that I would 
ever resume my work. In the meantime I learned the all- 
important lesson of committal. Before moving into the 
house, while too weak almost to think, believing that God 
had stricken me because of my rebellious will, I told Him 
I would go forward, cost what it might, but although the 
will had surrendered I had yet to learn how to absolutely 
commit this perplexing case into God's hands and leave 
it there. 

For many terrible weeks I was on the alert day and 
night watching every symptom and in constant dread lest 
she should be seized with a spasm, often leaning on my 
elbow or sitting up in the bed at night listening to her 
breathing, until finally, worn out with anxiety, I cried out 
to God and told Him that I was neither her healer nor her 
keeper and that I knew He did not want me under such a 
load, but that I would then and there commit her into His 
hands, once and forever, and roll all responsibility upon 
Him. From that moment I could indeed say with David : 
"I called upon the Lord and He heard me and delivered 
me from all my fears !" (Ps. 34:4.) Oh ! that all God's 
dear children understood this blessed truth that whatever 
we really do commit into His hands passes that very 
instant out of our hands, and, believing that to be the case, 
we enter into sweet and abiding rest about the matter; 
for we read in Psalms 37:5, "Commit thy way unto the 
Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass," or 
(R. V.) "He worketh." 

Thus we see that God can work gloriously when unhin- 
dered by our works, and is as willing as He is able to un- 
dertake the case committed into His care and all responsi- 

86 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

bility attending it when He sees that we not only "com- 
mit" but "trust also in Him" to perfect that which He has 
begun. Perfect trust is the inevitable consequence of real 
committal. Thereby we may know that the matter has 
actually been placed in His hands by the peace which fills 
our hearts. If there is still the least trace of uneasiness or 
anxiety remaining, it is proof positive that the committal 
has never been complete, or that Satan is tempting us to 
again take the management into our own feeble hands by 
causing us to doubt that "God worketh," which He surely 
is doing and will continue to do if we will let Him. Re- 
member that He asks us to do but two things — "commit" 
and "trust" — and that He does not add works. No, praise 
God, He says "He worketh." Is not that enough? 

We must be very definite and persistent in this act of 
committal. If we find our minds are still disturbed go 
again and again to God with it ; if necessary, every hour in 
the day, until the burden is entirely rolled upon His shoul- 
ders, (see marginal rendering of the text) once and for- 
ever, positively promising that you will gladly leave it 
there, and never, never grieve Him by another anxious 
thought concerning it. This can be done or He would not 
command it, for He does not mock His children, and it 
must be done if you would glorify Him and also know 
His perfect peace. Never can I cease to praise Him that 
this all-important lesson was taught me even though at so 
great a cost. I have thus far met but few of the follow- 
ers of Christ who seem to have learned it. 

No sooner had I thus laid my burden down, than — true 
to His word — God undertook the case and completely 
healed her of all her diseases ! And not only that but she 
was saved and led into His service and continues to this 

87 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

day an untiring and successful worker in the vineyard. 
Just here, for the encouragement of those who have long 
prayed and labored in vain over unsaved friends, let me 
give you another illustration of "committal" by relating 
an incident which a friend related to me. 

A mother had for many years prayed over a hardened, 
dissipated son, addicted to strong drink, but to no avail. 
When almost in despair, she was told to commit his case 
into God's hands once and forever, fully believing that in 
His own time and way he would be saved, even although 
she might not live to witness the blessed change. And she 
was also assured that if she would really do this she would 
from that moment be entirely restful and happy about him 
and her prayers would change to praise, no matter what 
his conduct might be. This she did and entered into rest 
about him. "We which have believed do enter into rest." 
(Heb. 4:3.) It seemed that her son rushed on in his mad 
career more wildly than ever before, but her peace flowed 
like a river. Not long after, this loving mother lay upon 
her death bed ; the wretched young man was so intoxicated 
that he was unable to attend her funeral. Some expected 
that her death would surely sober him and cause him to 
halt and consider his ways. But not so. On he went, 
sinking lower and lower in every form of vice, when sud- 
denly he was arrested by the mighty convicting power of 
the Holy Spirit, gloriously saved and became a devoted 
minister of the Gospel. Commit, trust, rest! 

While living in this house I was summoned to the bed- 
side of my father, who was very ill and given up by his 
physician. God alone knows what fervent prayers arose 
continually from my heart as I sat beside his death bed 
and thought of the offers of mercy rejected throughout 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

the life which was fast ebbing away. Once only he re- 
gained consciousness during my stay, but I grasped the 
opportunity to speak to him of his approaching end and 
once more to beseech him to accept of Christ as his only 
hope of salvation, breathing in his ear the words, "There 
is none other name under heaven given among men 
whereby we must be saved." As the end drew near, in 
answer, I believe, to my agonized cry, I was given these 
most comforting words : "But now they desire a better 
country, that is, an heavenly; wherefore God is not 
ashamed to be called their God ; for He hath prepared for 
them a city." (Heb. 11:16.) This was accompanied by 
such a joy in my soul that it seemed like glad wedding 
bells ringing within me; thus I trust that God made 
known to me that my dear father, who at one time a few 
years before his death acknowledged that he was seeking 
light and was praying for himself, was in the last 
moments of his life led to behold the Lamb of God, slain 
for sinners, and passed away trusting in Him alone. 

Surely the many prayers offered for him by his youngest 
child as well as by a host of her interested Christian 
friends were not lost. At one time when special united 
prayer was ascending for him from consecrated hearts in 
various cities and towns, it was remarkable to see the 
effect produced upon his mind and conscience. It was at 
this very tim.e to which I have alluded above that he said 
to one of my friends, "I am convinced that you possess 
something which I have not. I wish you would tell me 
where you obtained such faith and how I may find it." 
Upon overhearing these words I felt as if I must die of 
joy. But I have always blamed myself that I did not at 
this time when the Spirit of God was so striving with him 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

manifest more courage and continually press home the 
truth of the Gospel upon him in spite of every opposing 
influence or however often repulsed, until the stubborn 
will had yielded at Calvary's cross. Thus his closing 
years might have been spent for God. Oh! for a holy 
boldness in following after our unsaved friends night and 
day until we see them safe within the Fold ! 

Not long after my father's death my mind was much 
concerned regarding the subject of baptism. I had sev- 
eral times been approached upon this subject in the past, 
especially after attending a Convention at Old Orchard 
Beach, where I had not only a marked experience con- 
cerning Divine Healing but also quite as remarkable an 
experience regarding baptism. While on the camp ground 
one day a lady came to me in much distress of mind 
and said: "I want to ask your advice. I have been in 
darkness for two years and I believe it is because I 
did not obey God when He showed me the light upon 
baptism. Now what would you do if in my place ? There 
will be a baptismal service on Sunday and a large number 
will be immersed in the ocean. Shall I go forward with 
them?" 

Much astonished by this plain question and with no 
Httle embarrassment I replied : "Why, if I were in your 
place and had received such light as you say, I should 
most assuredly go forward in obedience on Sunday after- 
noon. I am sure that you will have no rest until you 
do!" She thanked me warmly and said she would cer- 
tainly do so, and passed on. "How strange!" I thought, 
"that she should come to me, a perfect stranger, and ask 
for advice when I have never been immersed myself !" I 
felt very uncomfortable. When Sunday came I was stand- 

90 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

ing in the crowd on the sea shore when an evangelist ap- 
proached me and abruptly said: "Sister, have you ever 
attended your own funeral?" I knew that he alluded to 
burial with Christ in baptism, but not being ready to 
squarely face the subject made an evasive answer. He 
bowed and walked away. 

My discomfort was still further increased when among 
the large number who came forward, arrayed in baptismal 
robes, I beheld my dear friend Carrie Judd, who, though 
reared in the Episcopal Church, had for many years been 
convinced, as she said, of the truth of baptism by immer- 
sion. I longed to go with them but allowed the time to 
pass, thinking that when I reached my home I would 
search the subject for myself, and, if convinced, would 
obey. Now, I had already had my attention called to it 
several times before this, but was annoyed by it and 
thought it quite immaterial, invariably telling those who 
pressed it upon me that I considered the baptism of the 
Spirit the all-important thing. 

A short time previous to this a brother in the ministry 
called to see me, one whom I believed to be a very godly 
man and whose counsel I valued. In the course of the 
conversation he remarked that he had just had the joy of 
baptizing his daughter by immersion. As he was a Wes- 
leyan I was much impressed at this announcement and 
replied : "By immersion ! Do you believe in that form of 
baptism?" "I do, indeed," he said, adding with great 
earnestness, "I could never sprinkle a few drops of water 
on a person's head and call that a symbol of burial with 
Christ." I made no reply, but his words followed me for 
many days and troubled me much ; in fact they seemed to 
me unanswerable, as indeed they were. Therefore the 

91 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

experience related above at Old Orchard Beach deeply 
stirred my soul, and soon after returning home I seated 
myself one day in my room with the determination to 
search the Scriptures on this subject with an unprejudiced 
mind, depending solely on the Holy Spirit to show me 
what the spiritual significance of baptism really is as 
revealed in God's Word. 

All commentaries were set aside and all preconceived 
ideas, and as an honest seeker after truth I commenced 
with the baptism of Jesus and followed the subject through 
the New Testament, and long before I had reached the 
Epistles I was convinced that there is no warrant in the 
Scriptures for baptizing infants, but that we are clearly 
shown that it is an ordinance following repentance and 
conversion. And after reading Romans 6 :2-6 and Col. 2 : 
12 the light streamed in upon my soul and I saw with 
noonday clearness that baptism symbolizes the glorious 
experience of death and resurrection with Christ and never 
in any instance do we see it representing the outpouring of 
the Holy Spirit as some teach. I also saw that, as such is 
the case, it is of the utmost importance that we observe it 
by the only form which can symbolize those two great 
truths, viz., the immersion or burial of the entire body 
beneath the water and the rising from it as from the grave 
of sin and self "in newness of life." What could be 
plainer than the following passages ? "Know ye not that 
so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were bap- 
tized into His death ? Therefore we are buried with Him 
by baptism into death ; that like as Christ was raised up 
from the dead by the glory (power) of the Father, even so 
we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have 
been planted together in the likeness of His death, we shall 

92 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

be also in the likeness of His resurrection." (Rom. 
6:3-4.) "Buried with Him in baptism, wherein also ye 
are risen with Him through the faith of the operation of 
God, who hath raised Him from the dead." (Col. 2:12.) 

It was the example of our Lord, the practice of the 
early church and has deep and blessed significance, there- 
fore what right have we to substitute some other and 
easier way, and, withal, a meaningless one? Dear reader, 
will you candidly search this subject for yourself in the 
Word of God, if you have not already done so? And, 
having done so, will you obey? After having seen this 
truth in the Scriptures a friend handed me an excellent 
tract on the subject which only confirmed my faith (if 
indeed it needed any confirmation) and I also saw that in 
Rotherham's literal translation of the New Testament the 
word baptism is everywhere rendered "immerse," as, for 
instance, "Then came Jesus to John the Immerser to be 
immersed of him," "Repent and be immersed every one 
of you for the remission of your sins," etc., etc. Much 
more might be said here with reference to this important 
truth but I hasten on. 

I am sorry to say that, although entirely convinced, I 
continued to postpone the matter of my own baptism until 
over a year had elapsed, and then was pressed into obedi- 
ence in the following manner: A Christian brother and 
wife came to spend a week at the house and finding that 
I had not yet recovered strength to resume work since 
giving up the Canal Street Mission, inquired of the Lord 
as to the cause of my continued feebleness, and asked 
that it might be revealed unto me. About an hour after 
this prayer He came to me with these searching words: 
"Why call ye me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which 

93 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

I say?" Instantly the Spirit whispered, "Your baptism!" 
Trembling and weeping, I cried, "Lord, I will go forward 
now if Thou wilt give me strength." Accordingly ar- 
rangements were made for my baptism to take place the 
following Sunday evening at the First Free Baptist 
Church, and in the meantime several others were con- 
vinced of the truth through my efforts, among them the 
dear girl whom I had taken into my home, and were 
buried with Christ in the baptismal waters at the same 
time. 

A heavenly peace rested upon me both before and after 
my baptism such as perfect union with Christ and perfect 
obedience to God's commands alone can bring, and, shortly 
after, my health was sufficiently restored to return to 
active service in the vineyard. 

An unbelieving friend once said to me, "Why is it that 
the churches do not cease using wine at the communion 
table when the sight and smell of it are often such a 
temptation to the weak? Why not use water instead?" 
"For two reasons," I replied. "Water could never sym- 
bolize blood and wine does ; and, again, for the all-impor- 
tant reason that Jesus commanded the use of wine, and 
we have no right to substitute something else which we 
may imagine w^ould do as well." Precisely so with regard 
to the mode of baptism. How dare we say that either 
sprinkling or pouring will do as well as the manner com- 
manded and also observed by the Lord Jesus Christ? If 
we are to observe ordinances at all, why not employ the 
symbols commanded in God's Word and which fittingly 
represent the spiritual truths which He would have us 
manifest before the world? If we offer in their stead 
some man-made invention can we expect Him to accept 

94 



A LESSON ON COMMITTAL 

such service? Surely He will say to all such presumptu- 
ous ones (Does the term sound harsh?) "Obedience is 
better than sacrifice." Baptism by immersion (and noth- 
ing else can be called such) shows to the world that I am 
saved through the death and resurrection of the Lord 
Jesus Christ, who was crucified for my offenses and 
raised again for my justification. It is "the Gospel of the 
grace of God" in symbol and by it I testify that I now 
reckon myself "dead indeed unto sin and alive unto God 
through Jesus Christ our Lord" as commanded to do in 
His Word. No man has any right to substitute any other 
form in its place nor to spiritualize it away. It is binding 
upon all, as the following passage proves : "Repent and 
be baptized every one of you for the remission of sins and 
ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." If by this 
Peter meant to say the baptism of the Holy Ghost (as 
some teach) instead of water, the passage would read 
thus : "Be baptized with the Holy Ghost .... and 
ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost!" Reader, let 
Him "guide you into all truth." 



95 




VIII. 

MY PENTECOST. 

HERE is a great deal of teaching in these 
days on the subject of holiness or sanctifica- 
tion, and hundreds of dear believers flock 
around the altars in our churches and 
camp-meetings, and also fairly besiege the 
Throne of Grace in their closets "with 
strong cryings and tears" seeking for the 
"fulness of blessing." But alas ! how very 
few really receive what they ask! How many come up 
to the very borders of the promised land and yet never 
enter in! And the great soul-hunger goes on, and still 
they listen to teaching and exhortations on the subject, 
and ever and anon they are seen again prostrated at the 
altar, groaning, seeking and praying, till in despair of 
ever receiving what they seek, they conclude that if there 
is any reality in the experiences which they hear from 
others, that it cannot be for them, and so turn wearily 
back to the old unsatisfying life of sinning and repenting, 
of doubts and fears, feeling that death alone can bring 
them the deliverance for which they sigh. The great 
secret of the failure of many lies in the fact that they are 
taught to seek for experience or an emotion, a blessing 
instead of a Person, the third Person of the adorable 
Trinity, the blessed Holy Spirit. 

And, again, though they may have been shown that it is 
the Holy Spirit whom they need, yet they fail to appre- 
hend the all-important fact that He is to be received by 
simple faith. By that I mean to say that they expect to 



96 



MY PENTECOST 

feel an overwhelming joy, or see some glorious vision, or 
hear a voice speaking to them, or, it may be, have such a 
"weight of glory" settle down upon them as to be pros- 
trated to the earth by its tremendous power. In short, 
they make the common and fatal mistake of desiring to 
see and feel before they will believe that He has come. It 
is the mistake which I myself made and which resulted 
as follows: I had for several years been walking in the 
way of holiness and realized that I was kept day by day 
from known sin, but I was not entirely satisfied, because, 
from lack of knowledge, I was continually seeking what 
I termed the "baptism of power," to fit me, as I supposed, 
for service, and not perceiving any new or extraordinary 
manifestations I became much exercised on the subject, 
and in this frame of mind attended a certain Holiness 
camp-meeting for the purpose of obtaining more light. I 
was there taught that this much coveted blessing could 
only be obtained by faith, so I arose, in company with 
many others, in one of the meetings and publicly stated 
that I would then and there receive the Holy Ghost bv 
faith, and surrender myself unreservedly to be led and 
taught and used by Him as He saw fit. But, strangely 
enough, although I had for many years clearly understood 
the nature of faith, that it is "the evidence of things not 
seen," yet when I came to this most important step of mv 
life I fell into the trap so cunningly set by the enemy of 
my soul, and determined that I would never believe that 
the Holy Ghost had come until I had some manifestation 
of which I would be as vividly conscious as the one 
hundred and twenty were on the day of Pentecost. 

I was thus dictating to God as to how He should deal 
with me, but was not aware of it then. I went on with my 

97 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

work, constantly looking for some overwhelming joy or 
some peculiar manifestation, which, of course, never came. 
How thankful I am now that the dear Lord dealt with me 
in such faithfulness ! For I can see with the light which 
I now have that had He appeared to me in "a rushing 
mighty wind," or, as my heart so eagerly clamored for, it 
would have been most disastrous to my soul's welfare, for 
I should have rested continually on that peculiar blessing 
instead of in Him! Finally, several years ago, in the 
spring of 1890, I became so distressed in mind over this 
matter that life became at times a burden. The more I 
read and heard of the experiences of others who had re- 
ceived the baptism of the Holy Ghost the more my hunger 
increased. Then followed weeks of weeping and crying 
out "with groanings which could not be uttered," after 
this gift of all gifts. How I abhorred myself and sank in 
utter self-abasement at His feet, declaring that I could 
never lead another meeting nor perform any service for 
Him again until I knew that He had come in His fulness 
to abide in my heart. How I finally asked God if He was 
delaying because He dared not trust me with such a gift, 
so priceless, so precious, as the dear Holy Spirit! Per- 
haps (I reasoned) He saw that I would become "exalted 
above measure" with spiritual pride! 

Just at this juncture I was invited to attend a conven- 
tion of believers at Western Springs, near Chicago, and 
was clearly led to do so. Upon reaching the ground I 
heard an animated discussion going on at dinner con- 
cerning the sermon of the morning, which had been on 
the subject of the baptism of the Holy Ghost, and was told 
that there would be five addresses by the same speaker 
on that subject. At this news my heart, which was truly 

98 



MY PENTECOST 

sick with "hope deferred," leaped within me for joy, and 
I hastened at once to the tent and listened — God only 
knows how eagerly — to every word which fell from the 
leader's lips. As he proceeded, however, to assure us that 
we must take our eyes off of all manifestations at once 
and by a simple act of faith receive the Holy Ghost, my 
distress and perplexity increased and my disappointment 
knew no bounds, for I wanted and expected to hear of 
rapturous experiences, and this seemed to be pointing me 
back to the same old stand I had taken years before and 
which had never borne any satisfactory results, I thought, 
in my life. Much depressed and well-nigh in despair, I 
spoke to the leader at the close of the meeting in regard 
to my aching, hungry heart, but the more he urged me to 
settle the matter by receiving the Holy Spirit then and 
there by simple faith, the more my will rose in strong re- 
bellion against what seemed to me most unscriptural 
teaching. "For," said I, "did not Jesus say 'I will mani- 
fest Myself unto you'; and did not those in the upper 
room on the day of Pentecost know that the Spirit had 
come by the most marvelous manifestations of His pres- 
ence and power?" To which he replied very kindly and 
pityingly, seeing my great distress, "True, but is it not 
just possible that you may be mistaken as to the manner 
in which He will come to you?" I said, "No, indeed, 
for all the experiences I have ever read, and the bio- 
graphies of the saints, show that they all have passed 
through similar glorious experiences and I could never 
be satisfied with anything short of this." Then, with a 
burst of tears, I abruptly rushed out of the tent and from 
that hour cordially wished that he would leave the ground, 
and so expressed myself to many, declaring that his teach- 

99 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

ings were doing more harm than good. However, in my 
heart I could but feel that he spoke "with authority" and 
with the most intense earnestness, and as one who knew 
whereof he spake. This occurred on Saturday. 

The conflict in my soul continued until Monday morn- 
ing, until a dear sister, who had passed through a long 
and similar struggle and had come out into great liberty 
and peace, came to my room, truly sent of God, hoping to 
help me out of my anguish and perplexity. I am sure 
the Lord gave her just the very words, and the only words 
which could possibly have led me into the light, and for 
this I shall praise Him through all eternity. She said at 
once: "I see just where you stand; you are separating 
the fruits of the Spirit from the Spirit Himself! You de- 
sire to see His fruits in your life before you admit Him 
into your heart. Can't you see that if you will let Him 
in He will bring all His fruits with Him and will Him- 
self be in you all that you can possibly need from day to 
day ?" Separating the fruits of the Spirit from the Spirit 
Himself ! A faint ray of light penetrated my mind. Yes, 
I could but admit that this was precisely what I had been 
doing. I had been seeking power for service, joy, etc., 
and I now began to see that what I needed was the Holy 
Ghost Himself. Then she showed me how I must receive 
Him by faith alone, and assured me that I would at once 
enter into perfect rest with regard to the matter of mani- 
festations, leaving that wholly in His hands and being 
willing to wait any length of time — His time — ^to manifest 
Himself or witness to His incoming as He chose. Then, 
seeing me falter and hesitate about again taking this step 
out into the dark, she said these never-to-be-forgotten 
words : "Can't you trust His love ?" I saw at once that 

100 



MY PENTECOST 

if I would but trust this precious Friend He would surely 
work in me all that I desired. And so, melting into tears, 
I replied, "I can!" We knelt together, and with many 
sobs I told Him I was completely tired out and I would 
gladly receive Him in the dark by faith, and wait, if need 
be, till the end of my life, for any emotion or manifesta- 
tion He saw fit to give. 

This was indeed a complete yielding of my will, which 
had been firmly set like adamant against receiving Him in 
any other way than that which I believed necessary. I 
humbly confessed to Him that I had thought that I knew 
a great deal about the Pentecostal baptism, but that now I 
saw that I knew nothing at all. (I did, indeed, feel like a 
complete know-nothing.) I said: "I give up all my own 
ideas and opinions, and I do here and now receive the 
Holy Ghost by simple faith and yield up my entire being 
to Him to possess and fill." 

No sooner had I uttered these words than a heavenly 
calm settled down upon my poor, storm-tossed soul. I 
thought of how Jesus arose when the little boat in which 
He was sleeping was rocking and pitching with the temp- 
est and cried: "Peace! be still!" My spirit had been 
long in a furnace of desire, and torn with conflicting hopes 
and fears until I was well-nigh in despair. Now I seemed 
to be sinking down, down, into a fathomless ocean of 
rest, even "the peace of God which passeth understand- 
ing." I understood as never before the Apostle's words, 
"We which have believed do enter into rest." (Heb. 
4:3.) A holy hush seemed to pervade the house and the 
camp-ground. Oh ! such wonderful, wonderful, stillness 
everywhere! No joy, no ecstacy, but a deep conviction 
that the matter was settled, and forever. The whole in- 

101 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

terview did not last over half an hour; but, beloved reader, 
it proved to be my Pentecost ! 

Are you surprised, disappointed ? Let me tell you that 
from that moment on June 23d, 1890, between 8 and 9 
o'clock in the morning, I knew that my prayer was an- 
swered and that the Holy Ghost had taken entire posses- 
sion of my spirit, soul and body. This was the "assurance 
of faith." I could not have been any more sure if I had 
been prostrated to the earth by His almighty power and 
had seen "things not lawful to be uttered." 

The first thing I was led to do was to go to the brother 
whose teachings I had so misunderstood and confess to 
him that I now saw that he was right and I was all wrong 
and testified to him that I was now filled with the Spirit 
and perfectly at rest. I was afterwards much touched to 
learn that he and a little band of anointed ones had assem- 
bled to pray for me while this interview in my room was 
in progress. 

Immediately after dinner a friend came to me and said, 
'T think the Lord would have you lead the meeting this 
afternoon." There was not a moment to prepare, not even 
to look for a chapter or a verse, but I dared not refuse. It 
was a meeting composed of ministers, evangelists and 
Christian workers, and ordinarily I would have felt that I 
must have considerable time for preparation, but believing 
that the indwelling Spirit would now be equal to any emer- 
gency in my life I went to the platform and arose to my 
feet not knowing what the Lord would have me say. I was 
led to relate the experience through which I had been 
passing, and as all present knew of my great anguish of 
mind they listened with keenest interest and when I had 

102 



J 



MY PENTECOST 

finished shouts of "Hallelujah" and "Glory to God" rent 
the air. 

A day or two later, as I sauntered about the camp- 
ground, quiet and happy, suddenly there came to my soul 
a most exquisite, precious manifestation of the Spirit! 
Remember that I had told Him I was willing to wait until 
the end of life, if need be, for any manifestation or wit- 
ness of His indwelling, and so when He saw that my will 
was indeed completely laid down about it I was only kept 
waiting for two days! Praise His Name forever! No 
words could describe it, but it was like the fluttering of 
wings around and within and over me, and then with a 
thrill of holy ecstacy through my entire being, I had the 
consciousness that the Spirit, like a pure and holy Dove, 
nestled down into my heart as if with a sense of sweet 
content that at last He had found a resting place there to 
go out no more forever. And the words of Jesus at once 
rushed to my mind, "He shall abide with you forever." 
Forever! How that word stretched out and out into the 
ages of eternity ! I stood for a few moments with bated 
breath fearing to stir lest I should lose some sweet, whis- 
pered word, and then went softly to my room. And 
that was all. How different from the "rushing, mighty 
wind" which I had so long anticipated! I then remem- 
bered that He came also to Elijah in the "still small 
voice," not in the fire or in the whirlwind, and that John 
the Baptist saw Him descending upon the Lord Jesus 
"like a Dove," and surely no more lovely and gentle sym- 
bol could have been found. I can never recall this without 
melting into tears, nor can I ever cease to praise Him for 
coming just as He did, in His own sweet way. 

From this time He began speaking to me as never be- 

103 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

fore, according to the promise of Jesus, "He shall bring to 
your remembrance whatever I have said unto you" (John 
14:26.) I think it was the following day that He whis- 
pered these precious words: "The love of God shed 
abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost." And I had been 
crying out for the fulness of love as if it were something 
apart from Him! I saw now that in receiving Him I had 
received the God of love. 

I also was astonished at the change manifested at once 
in my body. The heat was so intense during all the Con- 
vention that several left the Camp Ground unable to en- 
dure it and went to their homes. The thermometer stood 
at 105 degrees, and near that, day after day, and ordinarily 
I would have suffered greatly from it but I can truly 
testify that I was so upborne above the body and every- 
thing of earth that I was scarcely even conscious of the 
heat though I heard others complaining greatly and saw 
them leaving the grounds. I was upheld in the same 
manner on the trip home and on other long and tedious 
trips during the summer, although naturally a most mis- 
erable traveller and always avoiding long journeys in 
every possible way. 

Soon after reaching home the Spirit revealed to me that 
the spiritual state into which He had now brought me was 
akin to that of a little toddling child, clinging to its father's 
hand in simple dependence, moment by moment, to be led 
and cared for and supported every step of the way. This 
sweet revelation was accompanied by a sense of lovely 
guilessness and again the words of Jesus came to me: 
"Except ye be converted and become as little children ye 
can not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 18:3.) I 

104 



« 



MY PENTECOST 

am convinced that the further we advance in the Divine 
life the more simple and humble we shall become. 

My anxiety as to the matter of power for service was 
now forever at an end. I saw that the Holy Ghost Him- 
self, would be my power day by day, quite equal to any 
service to which He called me, and I had simply to "trust 
and obey" Him as I went, just to let Him speak, pray and 
sing through me as He saw fit. In John 7 :38 Jesus says, 
"He that believeth on Me . . . out of his belly shall 
flow rivers of living water. But this spake He of the 
Spirit." Glorious promise to the thirsty soul! Such, 
dear reader, I have found Him to be, not only the "well 
of water" mentioned in John 4:14 springing up within 
me unto everlasting life, but rivers of life and power (a 
far deeper experience) flowing forth out of my inmost 
being, refreshing and quickening other thirsty, needy souls 
around me, both by voice and pen. Praise God for such a 
precious, tender Comforter, such a reliable Guide, such 
an infallible Teacher, such an exhaustless Niagara from 
which we can continually drink deep draughts of love, 
joy and strength until we are satisfied day by day. 

For some time after thus receiving Him I wanted to 
tell every one about Him, I wanted to talk continually 
about the Holy Ghost, and I did. But gradually it dawned 
upon me that in this I was running on ahead of my 
Teacher, and that He had not come for any such purpose, 
but (mark this, dear reader) that He had come for the 
one great purpose of magnifying Christ! "He shall not 
speak of Himself." (John 16:13.) "He shall glorify 
Me, for He shall receive of mine and shall shew it unto 
you." (v. 14.) "He shall testify of Me." (John 15:26.) 
"He shall . . . bring all things to your remembrance 

105 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26.) Oh! 
I praise God the Father for sending the Spirit to reveal 
the Son ! First He reveals the Son to us and then in us, 
as we read in 1 Cor. 12 :3, "No man can call Jesus Lord 
but by the Holy Ghost," and in Gal. 1:15-16 ". . . It 
pleased God to reveal His Son in me." 

Let us take heed lest we rob the Lord Jesus Christ of 
the glory due to His Name by constantly exalting the Holy 
Ghost. We will give Him His proper place as Comforter, 
Teacher and Guide, and worship and adore Him as one 
with the Father and the Son, but if wholly surrendered to 
Him we shall find Him ever pointing us to Jesus and giv- 
ing us new and fresh revelations of Him. We shall also 
find that He will continually "testify" through our lips of 
Him in public and in private wherever we go. There are 
some teachers at the present time who speak of being 
"married to the Holy Ghost," etc. Is this Scriptural? No, 
Jesus is the Lover and Bridegroom of our souls, "the 
fairest among ten thousand, . . . yea, He is altogether 
lovely," and we are not led of the Spirit in our testimony 
if our mouths are not filled with the praises of Jesus and 
of His finished work. 

I once heard a brother in the ministry give the follow- 
ing exquisite illustration of this truth. He said he went 
once to the observatory at Washington, and describing the 
wondrous beauty of the heavenly bodies as viewed through 
the immense telescope, he said his mind was occupied not 
so much with the telescope as with the star which it re- 
vealed and brought near, adding these beautiful words: 
"Now the Holy Spirit is my Telescope, but Jesus is my 
STAR!" I rejoice to say that I have proved this to be 
true. The Spirit has enthroned Jesus as King in my heart 

106 



I 



MY PENTECOST 

and fixed my eyes with ever increasing adoration upon 
Him. Thus gazing we are "changed into the same image, 
from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 
Cor. 3:18.) 

I soon had ample opportunity to test the power of God 
to keep in sweet peace even in the midst of the bitterest 
trials. I had no sooner resumed my work than Satan ap- 
peared upon the scene and flung some arrows at me in the 
shape of lying and scandalous tongues, thinking thus to 
drive me from my post in confusion and shame and thus 
silence my testimony which already God was greatly 
using. The character of the accusations was such as 
would naturally cause keenest suffering to any pure- 
minded woman, but, praise be unto God forever! I was 
held as by an unseen hand every moment in perfect seren- 
ity, so much so, that I was a wonder to myself. 

When friends advised me to take some measures to de- 
fend or avenge myself the Spirit whispered : "When He 
was reviled He reviled not again ; when He suffered. He 
threatened not ; but committed His cause (margin) to Him 
that judgeth righteously. . ." (1 Pet. 2:23) and I was 
able to praise Him for permitting me thus to "know the 
fellowship of His sufferings." In the midst of it all I was 
suddenly one day filled with a holy joy amounting to 
ecstacy, unlike anything I had ever known. Upon inquir- 
ing of the Lord its meaning in a time of such persecution. 
He said: — ''Joy in the Holy Ghost/' (Rom. 14:17) and 
here again I was reminded that in receiving the Spirit in 
His fulness I had received His fruits ; for this was not my 
joy, at all, but His own wonderful, Divine joy — 
"That My joy may remain in you," said Jesus. It welled 
up within me like an oasis in the desert and filled me with 

107 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

hallelujahs and praises to God. I did not need to make an 

effort to "count it all joy" when I fell into this tempta- 
tion, or time of testing, for it was spontaneous. I really 
could not have helped it if I had tried. I had sometimes 
wondered if I really could bear with sweetness an attack 
upon my character if it should ever come ; now when this 
vile thing from the pit (it could not have been viler) arose 
against me, it really seemed that it did not even touch me 
but that the venomous dart pierced the breast of Jesus 
who stood between me and it, and instead of the least de- 
sire to avenge myself or even to go to the guilty soul who 
had started the report, to reprove or argue, or bring to 
justice, my heart was filled with pitying love — the love of 
God — for that soul. 

This experience was a sweet proof that the fruits of the 
Spirit are manifested in us all along the way as we go, 
according to our need and the victory gained brought me 
up to higher vantage ground than ever before. I cannot 
leave this precious subject without speaking of the bless- 
ing which has attended my ministry and the new light 
which has beamed upon the Word since I received my 
Pentecost. And still there's more to follow. 

To the Triune God be all glory and praise ! 



108 



IX, 




HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD. 

"Himself took our infirmities and bare 
our sicknesses." Matt. 8:17. 

P TO this time I had been often called to 
visit the sick and always went cheerfully 
and told my experience, and strove to lead 
the sufferer to look to Christ for healing, 
but I was never quite certain as to whether 
it was the will of God to heal them or not, 
believing it to be His will to heal only cer- 
tain cases, those designed for a special work, 
perhaps. So it was often a trial to me to go when sent for 
lest I should raise the hopes of some in vain. While at- 
tending a Convention at Old Orchard Beach, I heard all 
who spoke upon the subject of Divine Healing, teaching 
that it w^as a part of Christ's redemptive work upon the 
cross. They were prominent ministers of the Gospel, and 
evangelists from all parts of the country. "Can all these 
men and women, so deeply taught of God, be wrong in 
this respect?" I queried. I had heretofore reasoned 
against this teaching of healing in the atonement, and hon- 
estly thought that I was doing God service. 

In one of the cottages there was a brother holding con- 
versational meetings, and, being present one afternoon, I 
listened for some time to the questions and answers, and 
finally concluded that I would ask him if he believed that 
Jesus bore our sicknesses, in the same sense that He bore 
our sins? I inwardly hoped that he would say that he did 
not. But he replied: "Most assuredly." Whereupon I 



109 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

undertook by quite a lengthy process of reasoning to con- 
vince him that he was wrong. He listened very quietly 
and humbly until I had finished, and with one brief sen- 
tence gave the death blow to all my fine reasonings and 
human opinions. He said : "The Bible says so, doesn't it, 
sister?" "Y-e-s," I said, hesitatingly, as the passage, 
"Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses," 
came quickly to my mind. "The Bible says so! Is not 
that enough ?" whispered the blessed Spirit. "Do you not 
take that very same position when dealing with souls on 
any other subject? Do you not urge them to believe 
simply because God says thus and so in His Word?" 
Thus was I put to confusion by the one simple question 
evidently given that dear man of God by the Holy Spirit. 
Overcome with emotion I hurriedly left the meeting, 
and going up to my room I prostrated myself before God, 
determined that I would not leave the room until this sub- 
ject, so long contended against in the past, was clearly 
settled in my mind. Now I had often been told by Greek 
scholars, that the word "bare" in the passage quoted above 
(Matt. 8.17) is the same in the Greek, as the word "bare" 
in 1 Peter 2 :24, "Who His own self bare our sins in His 
own body on the tree," referring of course to the blessed 
work of substitution wrought on Calvary's cross in our 
behalf. x\nd yet I had, like many others, refused to be- 
lieve it because I could not understand it ; that is, I argued 
that if Jesus bore our sicknesses in the same sense that He 
bore our sins, we should never die, as the atonement 
would avail to the end for the body as well as the soul. 
This arose from the supposition that the believer must 
necessarily enter the next world through the gateway of 
sickness, and as I had never even conceived it a possi- 

110 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

bility that the Christian should pass out of the body in 
triumph over disease, living to a ripe old age and falling 
asleep in Jesus, I was really an honest doubter on the sub- 
ject of healing in the atonement. If anyone had asked me 
what the passage did mean I could not have answered, 
but I had a vague idea that it might mean that He 
sympathized with our sicknesses, and then, too, He might 
in some way have "taken" the sicknesses of those whom 
He healed when on earth, by the laying on of hands. 

I must confess that I was in a fog with regard to the 
whole thing, I simply did not want to believe that my sick 
nesses were nailed to the tree, because I could not explain 
how or why it was so. Believing that many of my readers 
are in the same state of mind, and that others may be pre- 
judiced against this important doctrine for the simple rea- 
son that it has never been clearly explained to them in the 
Scriptures, I write this experience of my own struggles in 
this direction with the hope that many may as the result of 
it, "search the Scriptures" like the Bereans of old to see 
whether these things are so. I had also been taught that 
Isaiah 53 :4 should be translated thus : "Surely He hath 
borne our sicknesses and carried our pains," and had seen 
in the Revised Version the word "griefs" throughout the 
entire chapter rendered in the margin "sicknesses." 
(Heb.) As I bowed before God the words flashed 
through my mind recorded in 1 John 5:10: "He that 
believeth not God hath made Him a liar, because he 
believeth not the record that God gave of His Son," and 
I was obliged most humbly to confess and ask forgive- 
ness, that I had refused to believe the record which God 
has given us of His Son as the Bearer of our sicknesses 

111 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

as well as of our sins, and had thus made God a liar, for 
surely this is a part of the record, is it not ? 

No sooner had I made this confession than I was 
brought face to face with a very sharp, pointed question 
from which I could not turn aside. He said : ''Will you 
believe what I say, or will you not ?" With my finger upon 
Matt. 8:17 I said: "Lord, this is what Thou hast said to 
me; that Jesus Christ bore my sicknesses and infirmities, 
and now I do believe it, simply because Thou hast de- 
clared it. I do now rest upon Thy Word rather than my 
own reasonings about it, and although I do not yet under- 
stand it, I do with all my heart receive it, and from this 
time forth I will teach it to others, as Thou shalt bid me, 
for the remainder of my days. And now. Lord, let the 
light in." As I uttered these words while bowing low at 
His feet, such a view was given me of Jesus bearing not 
only my sins, but my sicknesses upon Calvary's cross, that 
I was melted to tears and could only pour forth my praises 
for such a wonderful redemption. 

On my way home from the seashore, I stopped to visit 
friends in two different cities, and was requested in each 
place to speak on the subject of Divine Healing. Satan 
whispered: ''You won't dare to declare healing in the 
atonement." I said I would declare precisely what God 
gave me, and found as soon as I had opened my mouth in 
the first meeting that I was led to the foundation stone 
of this blessed truth deep and strong in the blood shedding 
of the Lord Jesus Christ. When about starting for the 
meeting the Spirit said : "Take the anointing oil." I had 
hitherto felt that an "elder" (Jas. 5:14) must necessarily 
be a man, but being quite sure that God had spoken I 
rather tremblingly obeyed, and was so blest in thus min- 

112 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

istering in His name that many suffering ones came to me 
for prayer, and laying on of the hands (Mark 16:18.) 
and about fifty were anointed with oil for the healing of 
their diseases. 

As I went on giving forth this truth it became more and 
more clear to my understanding, and from time to time, as 
the years have come and gone, it has been a joy to witness 
sick ones coming to the cross for healing (for there the 
''record" will surely lead one) often of incurable diseases, 
and going on their way rejoicing and glorifying God. 

For the benefit of any who may desire fuller light upon 
this subject, I would add that it would be well to examine 
the Scriptures concerning the connection of Satan with 
disease. 

I presume that you clearly understand that Satan 
brought sin into the world, and that he is the mighty 
adversary of our souls and will be until the King comes 
and casts him into the lake of fire. But perhaps you do 
not yet see that he is also the author of disease, and that 
he flings his "fiery darts" quite as frequently and with as 
much malignity at our bodies as our spirits. 

But consider a moment. When man fell, through listen- 
ing to the Tempter's plausible reasonings, he was not only 
cut off from God spiritually, but mentally and physically 
as well. The whole man went down. From the moment 
he fejl into Satan's hands through disobedience to God, he 
began to die. (Gen. 2:17, margin) "Dying, thou shalt 
die." The seeds of disease and death then took root in his 
body which had been created "in the likeness of God," 
fair, and sound, and beautiful. Separated from God, who 
alone is the source of spiritual and physical health, he be- 
ns 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

came corrupt at the very centre of his being, and from 
that day brought forth sin, disease and death. 

Have we not many times charged our loving Heavenly 
Father with much of the misery which Satan is the author 
of ? He has been from the first a mischievous, destructive 
spirit, ever bent on stirring up strife and confusion in the 
bodies and spirits of men as well as in the natural world. 
"God," on the other hand, "is not the author of confu- 
sion, but of peace," (1 Cor. 14:33) and it is a comfort- 
ing and most inspiring thought that He is back of and 
beyond all that Satan can do, and for His own dear chil- 
dren causes even his most diabolical schemes to work out 
eventually for good. (Rom. 8:28.) Look at the case of 
Job. Was not all his suffering, both physical and mental, 
purely Satanic? (Job. 1:6-19; 2:3-7.) But through his 
affliction he was led to see the "Ransom" for sin and sick- 
ness, and humbling himself in the dust before God, was 
not only healed in body — "his flesh becoming fresher than 
a child's" — but sanctified, and finally more favored of God 
than ever before. 

Then when the blessed Redeemer, whom Job saw by 
faith, came into the world and entered upon his ministry 
of salvation and healing, we read that "He went about 
doing good and healing all that were oppressed of the 
devil." (Acts 10:38.) If their diseases were the work of 
God and for His glory, how would He have dared to re- 
buke them (the diseases) as He invariably did? He 
"came to do the Father's will," not to thwart it. He 
"came to set the captives free" (of Satan) in spirit, soul 
and body, and to bring the whole man back into the union 
with God and completeness in Him, which he had lost 
through Adam's fall. He visited Peter's mother-in-law 

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HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

and finding her in a burning fever He "rebuked" it, and 
she was at once delivered. But what was it that He re- 
buked? The fever or the one who had maUciously put 
it upon her? Did He rebuke a thing or an intelligence? 
Manifestly the latter. She was "oppressed of the devil," 
and, rebuking him, he fled in confusion before his almighty 
Conqueror, as, praise God ! he always does and must ; and 
the suif erer being set free from his deadly clutch was once 
more in health. Jesus always encouraged the good and 
rebuked the evil, did He not? Hence we see that He 
considered that fever an evil put upon her by Satan, not 
"a blessing sent by God," as many — even some ministers 
of the Gospel — would like us to believe when sickness 
comes upon us! Surely Jesus could not, and never did 
interfere with the work of God. In Luke 13:1-2 we see 
Him graciously and tenderly "calling unto Him" a poor 
woman which had "a spirit of infirmity eighteen years." 
What "spirit" was this ? Surely not the blessed Spirit of 
God ! He is a life-giving Spirit, and we read that "where 
the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty." But this poor 
woman was bound as if by iron bands "and could in no- 
wise lift herself up." The mordent our compassion- 
ate Savior beheld her. He spoke the word of power and 
set her free. "Woman!" He said, "thou art loosed from 
thine infirmity." What thrilling words! And then He 
laid His hands of healing upon her, and she was instantly 
made straight. This also was a case of "oppression," not 
possession. When remonstrated with. He plainly declared 
she had been "bound by Satan" and that she ought to be 
loosed ! When my attention was first called to the signi- 
ficance of that little word "ought" in this connection, my 
heart leaped for joy. As "a daughter of Abraham" she 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

had no right to be "bound," but as an heir to the promise, 
through Christ, she had not only the privilege but the 
indisputable right to assert her claim to complete salva- 
tion, entire deliverance from Satan's power over body, 
soul or spirit. Oh ! that all dear sufferers who read these 
lines might clearly see that they "ought" not to remain 
bound by Satan's malignant hand another hour, no! not 
another moment ! What else can we gather from this dec- 
laration of our Lord than that it is our duty to be free? 
When we say "I ought to do" this or that, do we not mean 
that we consider it a binding duty to do that thing? Oh, 
praise God for such a Redeemer ! No wonder that dear 
captive "glorified God," when she thus suddenly escaped 
like a bird from the "snare of the fowler." We can just 
fancy her hastening out of that synagogue erect and 
strong and running with flying feet to tell the good news 
to her family and friends. What a revelation it must have 
been to her as well as all who heard the words of Jesus 
that day, that it was Satan who had thus afflicted her 
for eighteen long years. She had undoubtedly supposed 
all along that it was her Father's hand and that she must 
bow in submission to His will, bitter though it was to 
creep through life thus crippled and suffering. In Matt. 
12:22 we see a poor man, both blind and dumb, brought 
to Jesus. Either one of these afflictions one would think 
hard enough to bear, but to be unable either to see or 
speak must be an affliction indeed. Now what was the 
cause of this? The Holy Spirit tells us that he was 
"possessed of a devil," a demoniac (marg.). As soon as 
this vile, tormenting spirit which had closed his eyes and 
bound his tongue was cast out, immediately "he both 
spake and saw." 

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HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

Again we see in Matt. 9 :32-33, a dumb man "possessed 
with a devil," which, when cast out, left his tongue loos- 
ened. And in Matt. 17:14-21, we see one tormented 
indeed. His disease is termed epilepsy in the Revised 
Version, and such it must have been, judging from the 
symptoms, which Mark gives more in detail (chap. 9:17), 
where we read that he had "a dumb spirit" which often 
seized him, tearing him and dashing him to the floor, into 
the fire and into the water, causing him to foam at the 
mouth and gnash his teeth, and through this severe hand- 
ling, both mind and body were sinking, so that he was 
pining away. Matthew says he was a "lunatic," a fre- 
quent result of this terrible disease. Could a God whose 
name is Love thus torment one of His helpless creatures ? 
The disciples on this occasion were powerless through 
unbelief and disobedience, but Jesus said: "Bring him 
unto Me." The moment the demon within him saw 
Jesus, his Conqueror, the almighty Savior, he threw his 
wretched victim on the ground, foaming and writhing in 
agony. Upon the poor distracted father declaring his 
faith, our glorious Redeemer (who was soon to conquer 
Satan and all his hosts upon the Cross) rebuked the foul 
demon thus : "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, 
come out of him and enter no more into him." (Mark 
9:25.) Praise God, the afflicted one was, after one more 
struggle, delivered of the demon, and though so exhausted 
with the conflict that he appeared to be dead, when Jesus 
took him by the hand, he arose, and Matthew says, "He 
was cured from that hour." Consider what a terrible 
work one demon had wrought in that body ; he had closed 
the ears, bound the tongue and deprived him of his rea- 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

son! No wonder Satan is called the "Prince of dark- 
ness" ; his work is dark enough. 

I believe that the view taken by Mrs. Dora Dudley of 
this matter of disease is a correct one, viz : that all sick- 
ness is either the oppression or possession of the devil. He 
either flings his fiery darts from without, or actually takes 
possession of the mind, the nerves or some particular 
organ of the body. In the case of Mary Magdalene, 
seven demons had taken possession, and when cast out 
she became a meek and lowly follower of her Lord, and 
had the unspeakable joy of being the first to behold Him 
and to hear His tender loving voice after He had risen 
from the dead. 

There can be no doubt in the mind of any candid stu- 
dent of the Scriptures that demons have the power to 
torment, and even to possess the bodies and minds of men 
to-day precisely as when Jesus was upon the earth. If 
not, then why did He in His parting command just be- 
fore His ascension utter these words : "These signs shall 
follow them that believe; in My name ye shall cast out 
devils ...."? (Mark 16:17.) Many instances of 
demoniac possession have come under my own observa- 
tion, some of whom realized their condition, and at times 
cried out to be set free. "Thanks be unto God which 
giveth us the victory through the Lord Jesus Christ!" 
His almighty name proves as powerful to-day as ever in 
the past, and some of us realize the significance of the 
verse so often thoughtlessly sung: 

"Jesus, the name high over all, 

In earth or sea, or sky. 

Angels and men before it fall 

And devils fear and fly." 

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HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

John Wesley relates a thrilling encounter with a poor 
girl violently tormented, whom he found rolling on the 
floor, tearing her hair, screaming loudly and going from 
one terrible convulsion into another. When he entered the 
room the demon within her cried out : ''Field preacher ! 
field preacher!" mocking and laughing derisively until (as 
he confessed afterward) his blood ran cold and his very 
knees smote together, strong man as he was, and he actu- 
ally hurried out of the house in confusion and dismay. 
After great prayer, however, and claiming a mighty 
anointing of the Holy Ghost, he determined to return and 
face the defiant demon, and in the name of Jesus cast him 
out; which he did, claiming the promise above quoted, 
with the glorious result that the tormented one was per- 
fectly delivered, converted to God and healed in body. 
Glory to His name ! None knows His power better than 
Satan and his demons; they also know and hate with a 
bitter hatred those who are living close enough to Jesus 
and are sufficiently filled with His Spirit to have power 
to cast them out. Was it not enough to make Paul shout 
for joy to hear what the evil spirit said to the exorcists 
(mediums) who had tried to cast him out: "J^sus I 
know, and Paul I know, but who are ye?" (Acts 19:15.) 
Yes, indeed, they had reason to know Paul and to tremble 
in his presence and flee before him wherever he went. So 
they will to-day, before those who are clean and filled 
with the Holy Ghost, and have full faith in Jesus' name. 

The man in the tombs was possessed by a legion of 
unclean spirits. (Mark 5:2.) So terrific was their hold 
upon his nerves that he had become violently insane. 
Chains of iron could not bind him, for in his satanic fury 
he would break them as if they were threads. Night and 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

day he raved and cried out, and cut and beat himself with 
stones. But lo! at the word of Jesus — whom they im- 
mediately recognized as "the Son of the Most High God" 
— they came out, and, entering into the swine, these 
naturally stupid and sluggish creatures at once became 
as violent as the man whom the demons had possessed, 
and rushed headlong into the sea to their own destruction. 
And what of the man ? Behold him now decently "clothed 
and in his right mind, sitting at the feet of Jesus !" The 
Revised Version reads: "even him that had the legion!" 
Oh how my heart swells with praise as I gaze upon this 
scene ! The once wild and furious lunatic, now so gentle 
and quiet, sitting meekly at the feet of his Savior and 
Healer, looking up into His heavenly face with adoration 
and gratitude unspeakable. What a trophy of grace! 
What a gem for Jesus' crown! Dear reader, as thou 
readest these words, fall down with me and worship this 
wonderful Jesus and say, "Is anything too hard for the 
Lord ?" Hallelujah ! Can you not see how as soon as the 
evil spirit of destruction goes out, the blessed Dove, the 
Holy Spirit of health and harmony, comes in and fills the 
void? 

Let us consider for a moment Paul's "thorn in the 
flesh." (2 Cor. 12:7.) There is a difference of opinion 
regarding this, but if it was some affliction in body (as 
seems probable) then we have still another proof that 
sickness is Satan's work, as he states that it was "a mes- 
senger of Satan to buffet him." See in connection with 
this Gal. 4:13-15 where he speaks of his "infirmity" as a 
"temptation in the flesh." All temptation, of course, 
proceeds from Satan. "God tempteth no man." (James 
1 :13.) Although deliverance was not at once granted to 

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HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

Paul, God's all-sufficient grace lifted him above it, so his 
work was not hindered. Evidently when the needed les- 
son was learned the ''thorn" was removed. 

As Jesus "came to destroy the works of the devil" (1 
John 3:8), and to deliver his captives (Luke 4:18), and 
to perfectly do the Father's will (Heb. 10:7), therefore 
when we read in Matt. 8:16, that "He healed all that were 
sick," we see that He was manifesting the love and com- 
passion of our Father, whose will is that all His children 
should be "complete in Him." 

Disease (lack of ease) in spirit, soul or body is Satan's 
work, but "In Me," said Jesus, "ye shall have peace" 
(ease). Oh that the dear suffering children of God every- 
where might be enlightened by the Holy Spirit to see that 
they are tormented of the devil and no longer be "ignor- 
ant of his devices." Let me assure you, dear friends, that 
he is a very real personage, and if you will only face him 
squarely and in the name of Jesus rebuke him, pointing 
him to the blood which has redeemed you, not only from 
all sin, but also all sickness (Mat. 8:17), he will flee from 
you and his foul diseases with him. 

Will you not believe what God says about it? He says 
"Resist the devil and he will flee from you !" Dear, dear 
sufferer, he certainly will. Perhaps not always without a 
conflict, and it may be at times fierce and long, but con- 
sider two more promises given for our comfort. After 
commanding us to put on the "whole armour of God," we 
read: "Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith 
ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil 
one." (Revised Version.) It seems to me that that 
shield is the name of Jesus, which, if held up resolutely 
and perseveringly between you and Satan or any of his 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

demons, will surely force him to retreat in dismay. How 
can he withstand that name ? He may for a VN^liile, "roar 
like a lion," and try to make it appear that he has the 
field and will never leave it, and your efforts may seem 
to you so feeble and utterly useless against such a foe 
that you may be tempted to give up. But no ! A thousand 
times no ! All depends upon your exercising a firm faith 
in the power of Jesus' name and letting the enemy 
know that you do not fear him, that you understand him 
perfectly, and his cunning tricks, and do not propose to 
yield one inch until you come off triumphant. A friend 
once said to me when I was passing through a sharp 
conflict both in spirit and body: "This conflict is not 
between you and Satan, it is between Jesus and Satan!" 
New courage filled my soul. "Ah," I thought, "if it is 
between Jesus and Satan, I know very well how it is 
coming out !" 

In conclusion, read Rom. 8:37-39, and let us exalt the 
Name which is above every name, now and evermore. 



122 




X. 

HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD. 
(concluded.) 

S WE have clearly seen in the foregoing 
chapter that sickness is a part of the curse 
of the broken law, let us now consider the 
true remedy as revealed in God's Word. 
In Deut. 28:15 ". . . If thou wilt not 
hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy 
God, to observe to do all His command- 
ments and His statutes which I command 
thee this day; all these curses shall come upon thee and 
overtake thee. (vs. 21-22.) The Lord shall make the 
pestilence cleave unto thee . . . the Lord shall smite 
thee with a consumption and with a fever, and with an 
inflammation, and with an extreme burning. . . . (vs. 
27-28.) The Lord will smite thee with the botch of 
Egypt and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with 
the itch whereof thou canst not be healed, (vs. 59-61.) 
Then the Lord will make thy plagues wonderful and the 
plagues of thy seed, even great plagues and of long con- 
tinuance, and of sore sicknesses and of long continuance. 
Moreover He will bring upon thee all the diseases of 
Egypt which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave 
unto thee. Also every sickness and every plague which is 
not written in the book of this law, them will the Lord 
bring upon thee until thou be destroyed." Here we see 
sickness distinctly called a "curse." 

Turning from this sad picture, our hearts are filled with 
praise and adoration as we read in Gal. 3 :13, "Christ hath 



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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a 
curse for us; for it is written: Cursed is everyone that 
hangeth on a tree." Do we not here also, as in other 
passages previously quoted, see our Redeemer bearing our 
sicknesses as well as our sins in His own body on the 
tree ? Thus He has redeemed, brought us out from under 
the curse of the broken law by being made a curse for us, 
consequently the believer in Jesus has quite as much 
right to claim deliverance from sickness as from sin, and 
it seems to me that, clearly apprehending this truth, and 
standing firmly upon it, he may expect to live unto a 
ripe old age and fall asleep in Jesus when his work is 
done, delivered from Satan's power and the agonies of 
disease and death even unto the end. 

Before accepting this truth I stumbled for a long time 
over the fact that some whom I had known, who professed 
faith in Christ as their Healer, died of various diseases in 
apparent defeat, but when pressed by the Spirit to answer 
the searching question as to whether I would believe His 
word or not, I could only say: "Let God be true and 
every man a liar," and I saw how wrong it was for me to 
doubt His inspired Word, simply because this man or 
that woman had failed to lay hold upon it with a vital, 
appropriating faith. Miss Havergal says, 

"They who trust Him wholly 
Find Him wholly true." 

In some cases where the sick have been prayed for and 
all the means commanded in the Scriptures have been 
used, though the life has not been prolonged, the disease 
has been rebuked, suffering has ceased, and they have 
then departed in peace and glorious triumph, their work 
on earth evidently completed and they themselves con- 

124 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

scious that their time had come to go. This at one time 
seemed to me to be a failure, now it seems to me to be as 
great a victory as when the sick one is raised from his 
bed in health and strength, and the healing power of God 
made apparent to all. Viewing it in this light we see that 
the atonement of Christ does avail for sickness as well as 
sin even unto the end, where there is unwavering faith in 
the precious blood that "cleanseth from all sin," and 
"healeth all our diseases." 

We should not allow ourselves to speculate in this mat- 
ter as to where there is perfect faith in a given case, for 
God alone knows the heart and sometimes where there 
may have seemed to the looker-on to be perfect faith, 
there may perhaps have been some hidden sin unconf essed, 
some unforgiving spirit, or some obstacle in the way so 
that the Holy Spirit could not work freely in power; 
healing as He longed to do. Oh, beloved, do let us believe 
our God at any cost! The redemptive work of Christ 
covers our diseases, and His healing power will be mani- 
fested where all needful conditions are met, in His own 
time and way. 

It is important that we should clearly understand from 
what has been said above, that it is the will of God to heal 
His children when afflicted in body, as that will has been 
revealed by the death of His dear Son upon Calvary's 
cross, who there redeemed us from all of Satan's power. 
Therefore when sickness comes upon us we do not need 
to say, "Lord, heal me if it be Thy will," but confidently 
and with holy boldness to say, "Lord, I claim deliverance 
from this sickness as one of Thy redeemed ones, in the 
name and through the blood of Jesus Christ, who took 
my infirmities and bore my sickness upon the tree." 

125 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Surely that which Jesus bore in my stead should not rest 
upon me. 

While speaking on this subject at one time later on, I 
had occasion to refer to Heb. 9:12, "Neither by the blood 
of goats and calves, but by His own blood He entered in 
once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemp- 
tion for us." Tn an instant the glorious truth burst upon 
me that as believers in Jesus' finished work, we are really 
eternally healed! Forever separated from our sicknesses 
as well as our sins by that dear cross on which Jesus paid 
all our debt, and set us free "once for all." Thrilled 
from head to foot by the power of the Spirit as this match- 
less truth entered my heart I could only shout for joy, 
and many of the audience with me, over the blessed dis- 
covery of our eternal redemption from all of Satan's 
powers. Truly he may tempt and try us, and will re- 
peatedly do so — with both sickness and sin, but how can 
he overthrow us or really put upon us what Christ has 
forever borne away? 

Believing steadily that I am eternally redeemed both 
from sickness and "all iniquity," I shall continually praise 
God that such is the case, and it will be unto me accord- 
ing to my faith. I shall believe God's truth rather than 
Satan's lie. Circumstances, symptoms and feelings may 
seem contradictory and perplexing, but with this mighty 
boulder of God's Word under our feet what have we to 
fear? Eternally healed! Hallelujah to the I^mb that 
was slain, dear believer, for you and for me! Glory in 
the highest! 

Now can you not see more clearly than ever before that 
we have authority from the Scripture to declare ourselves 
absolutely healed of all our diseases, once for all, through 

126 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ? Did you 
wait to feel that your sins were forgiven and blotted out 
before you would believe it? Surely not. You rested 
your hope of salvation solely on God's Word, and, believ- 
ing that you were forgiven and accepted for Jesus' sake, 
the Holy Spirit soon witnessed to your sonship, and you 
were filled with joy and peace. Precisely thus accept the 
truth of your healing accomplished long ago on Calvary's 
cross, and in God's own time (perhaps very quickly) the 
evidence of your senses will be added to that of your 
faith. "Faith is the evidence of things not seen." (Heb. 
11:1.) 

"How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord 
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word ! 
What more could He say than to you He hath said, 
To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?" 

This blessed truth of healing through the blood was on 
one occasion illustrated in my own experience in the fol- 
lowing manner: I was confined to my room with influ- 
enza, and was suddenly awakened early one morning 
with the words: "The blood, the blood is all my plea," 
and shown that I must present the precious blood of Jesus 
to the Father, as the only ground of my faith and my 
claim for healing. Never having heard the words before, 
I asked a friend if she knew of any hymn or poem con- 
taining them? She replied that she was not quite sure, 
but was inclined to think that there was such a hymn. 
That afternoon, being unable to lead the Usual Sunday 
meeting held at my house, I requested an evangelist, then 
in town, to do so. What was my amazement, when the 
service opened, to hear the words of a hymn wafted up 

127 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

the stairs which was sung with great energy by the 
audience, 

"The blood, the blood is all my plea 
Hallelujah! it cleanseth me." 

It was started by the leader in entire ignorance of the 
Voice which had spoken to me that very morning, and was 
quite as astonishing to him as to myself when the cir- 
cumstance was related! Within a few days three other 
hymns relating to the blood were brought to my mind thus 
by the Holy Spirit, only one of which I can now recall : 

"How blest are they who still abide 
Close sheltered in Thy bleeding side! 
Who thence their life and strength derive, 
And by Thee move, and in Thee live !" 

Thus in this sweet and wonderful way I was really 
cleansed and healed through the life-giving messages con- 
veyed to my soul by four lovely. Spirit-filled hymns about 
the blood of Jesus. This especially touched my heart then 
and has several times since, that God should thus come 
to me through the instrumentality of music, as it seemed 
so tenderly to assure me that He had not forgotten the 
idolized music of the world which I had forsaken for His 
sake, and that He wished me to understand what He 
could make pure and spiritual songs become to me all 
through life. And far beyond this was the "soul-reviving 
view" given me anew of the healing power of the blood. 
As the result of it I arose and went forth into the cold, 
piercing air although still coughing heavily, and every 
trace of the disease was by the next morning cleansed 
away. 

128 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

"All hail atoning blood! 
All hail redeeming grace! 
All hail the gift of Christ our Lord 
Our strength and righteousness." 

About this time an incident occurred which I relate in 
the hope that the power of our God may be made manifest 
and the faith of all who read may be strengthened in Him. 
At the close of a service one Sunday afternoon where I 
had been speaking, a gentleman stepped up to me and with 
much emotion said, "I have two sisters living with me 
who have been bed-ridden for two years, and the physi- 
cians can do nothing for them. Could you come and see 
them? And do you think there is any possibility that 
they might be healed ?" "I will come to see them," I said, 
"and I believe most assuredly that they can be healed." 
Arrangements were made that I should call as soon as 
the Lord made plain. In the meantime helpful tracts 
were sent to the house to be read to them as they might 
have strength to bear. 

Some time elapsed — two weeks or more — ^before I was 
permitted to go. I found the afflicted ones lying in rooms 
opening into each other, one (whose name was Jessie) 
had suffered from curvature of the spine from early child- 
hood, and had also organic heart disease. Her physician 
had told her that if she ever ventured to bear her weight 
upon her feet again she would be paralyzed. The other, 
(named Jennie) from constant care and anxiety over 
Jessie, had gradually failed until her condition was quite 
as critical as that of her sister. There was no power to 
digest food, so that she seemed to be slowly starving from 
lack of nournishment. She was also afflicted with neural- 
gia and other troubles, and unable even to be propped up 

129 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

in the bed. After making three visits upon them, I started 
out one morning to go to their house, and on the way the 
Holy Spirit said to me: "Take the anointing oil." As 
I passed a drug store, I went in and purchased a small 
bottle of olive oil. The moment I entered the house Jen- 
nie said, "We were just saying that we feel we ought not 
to postpone being anointed another day!" When I told 
her how the Lord had spoken to me on the way, we re- 
joiced together. How beautiful to be "led of the Spirit" ! 
Jennie was so very low that I felt there must be no ex- 
citement, so that as I anointed her I could only breathe a 
whispered prayer. There was no one present in the room. 
Taking her by both hands I said, "In the name of the 
Lord Jesus Christ arise !" Instantly she arose and walked 
across the room to the easy chair which I had placed for 
her, with a quilt in it to wrap about her. For several 
hours she continued sitting upright, feeling no weariness, 
until at 6 o'clock her brother came home from his work, 
and to his amazement beheld her sitting at the window 
entirely healed ! She never returned to her bed an invalid. 
From that hour she ate her meals with the family, taking 
such food as the others ate without any ill effects, and 
rapidly gaining in strength. 

Several days elapsed before I was led there again and 
the enemy tempted me sorely most of the time, saying that 
I had done a wild thing and would be the means of her 
death. When I started to go over, one morning, he 
taunted me and tried to fill me with fears that I would 
find her laid out in death. Reaching the house I peeped 
timidly into the room where she had so long lain, and lo ! 
the bed was neatly made, and I heard her voice from the 
next room. Entering, I found her dressed, looking in 

130 



HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

excellent health, sitting on the foot of Jessie's bed, talk- 
ing earnestly with her of the power of Jesus to heal! 
Glorious sight! My heart overflowed with praise. We 
went out together for a walk, and the astonished neigh- 
bors greeted her, and the little children followed after us 
with exclamations of surprise and gladness. The follow- 
ing Sunday she walked to her own church, and in the af- 
ternoon down to my own meeting and back, a distance of 
several miles, and continues up to the present time (now 
about ten years) in health. 

After returning from our walk Jessie called me to her 
room and said, *'It does seem that the time has come for 
me to rise." Accordingly I anointed her, laying on hands 
as usual in Jesus' name. Her sister-in-law and two sis- 
ters, Jennie and Agnes, were present. Slowly she arose 
and sat for a moment on the side of the bed with such a 
glorified face, that we were filled with awe as we gazed 
upon her. Then vvuth some assistance she walked to her 
chair, glorifying God. At her request we tried to sing the 
doxology amidst our tears of joy, and then all knelt about 
her chair and poured out our hearts in prayer and praise. 
Her recovery, though not as rapid as that of her sister, 
was so evidently of God that not even the most skeptical 
could question it. And although the spine was never 
straightened, yet she was given excellent health, some- 
thing which, as she said, she had never before in her life 
known. It was indeed a touching sight to behold these 
two healed ones going about the city arm in arm with 
faces beaming with joy, calling on the suffering and needy, 
distributing tracts and testifying constantly to the mighty 
work wrought in their bodies by the Great Physician. 

Such was the blessing which came upon the whole 

131 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

family through this visitation of the Lord Jesus to their 
home, and such the consciousness of His presence there 
that they stated that it seemed Hke a Httle heaven on 
earth. But dear Jessie's work was soon accompHshed. 
In about six months after her healing she sweetly fell 
asleep in Jesus with no apparent suffering whatever, and 
waits with all the ransomed for "the crowning day" to 
come. She had been ailing somewhat with what seemed 
to be La Grippe, but in answer to prayer was relieved 
from all pain, and took her flight to be "forever with the 
Lord." Her passing away was so sweet that none could 
mourn. The presence and peace of God so filled the house 
that one could truly say in this case, "It is better to go to 
the house of mourning than to the house of feasting." 
(Ec. 7:1.) The funeral was unlike any that I ever at- 
tended. Such a holy peace, and even joy, shone in the 
face of every member of the family that it was like a 
benediction to enter the house. No tears were shed. It 
was all so calm and sweet, just as such occasions should 
be when one has passed on before us into the glory. 

When will the people of God learn this? Why should 
we be clad in black, and covered with crape and every 
symbol of gloom at such a time, when one we love has 
escaped from the toils and trials of this sorrowing, sinful 
world and been ushered by the holy angels into bliss un- 
speakable? Why should we not be filled with praise and 
even exultant joy over their glorious victory? I am sure 
dear friends, that we shall be, if we really believe that 
which we claim that we do, as to the state of the blessed 
dead, and are wholly in the will of God. I met a Chris- 
tian woman once who told me that she stood beside the 
casket of her only child, with her heart swelling with 

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HEALING PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD 

praise, and at the funeral was so filled with the glory of 
God that she could not refrain from rising and addressing 
the friends who were assembled, exhorting the unsaved, 
and testifying to all present of the peace and joy which 
filled her heart as something of the radiance of the glory 
in which her darling was basking shone in upon her soul, 
lifting her above all thought of personal loss, and causing 
her not only to submit, but truly rejoice in the will of her 
God. 

Soon after the healing of the two sisters, I received a 
most touching little note from the family enclosing a check 
for $50.00, as a thank offering for the blessed work which 
God had wrought in their midst, and expressing the wish 
that it might be used to take me to Old Orchard Beach 
Convention, which they had learned that I greatly desired 
to attend. All praise to the name of our wonder-working 
Jesus forever! 

"The healing of His seamless dress 

Is by our bed of pain; 
We touch Him in Life's throng and press, 
And we are whole again." 

Just a word, before leaving this important subject, to 
ministers of the Gospel, who may be disposed to doubt or 
even to cavil at the truth of Divine Healing. A prayer- 
ful, unprejudiced investigation of the matter will bring 
light, and possibly the following comments of men of 
world-wide renown, both for scholarship and for piety, 
may encourage some to bestow upon the subject that con- 
sideration which these mighty men of God have felt that 
it merited. With regard to healing as a part of the atoning 
work of Christ upon the cross, the noted Methodist com- 
mentator, Dr. D. D. Whedon, says of Matt. 8: 17, " 'Him- 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

self took our infirmities and bare our sickness': Sick- 
ness, mortality, temporal death are as truly a part of 
the great penalty of sin, as the very pains of hell itself. 
All these were borne by the Savior in the form of atoning 
sufferings upon the cross. It was by this substitutional 
suffering in our stead that the man Christ Jesus was en- 
titled to redeem us from hell and relieve us from the 
earthly part of our woes. He healed sickness, therefore, 
by hearing even it in His own body on the tree." In 
Tyerman's Life of John Wesley we read : . . , "There 
is nothing in either the Old Testament or the New, which 
teaches that miracles were to be confined within the limits 
of the Apostolic age, or that God hath in any way pre- 
cluded Himself from working miracles in any kind or 
degree, in any age to the end of time." Also on James 
5 : 14 he says, " 'Anointing him with oil.' This was the 
whole process of physic in the Christian church till it 
(the gift of healing) was lost through unbelief. Indeed 
it seems to have been designed to remain always." Again 
Whedon says, "This power, we doubt not, still exists in 
the church were it faithfully exerted." Bengel says, re- 
garding the anointing oil, "This was the highest medical 
order in the church. O happy simplicity interrupted or 
lost through unbelief!" 



134 



XI. 




MY SUBURBAN HOME. 

BOUT a year and a half after the death of 
my father's second wife I was told that 
he again contemplated marriage. After 
attending the marriage ceremony, which 
was celebrated at the house of a Roman 
Catholic priest, I again sought rooms in a 
Christian boarding house in the city, feel- 
ing that as my father would now have 
some one to do his reading and writing for him, I would 
not be needed. Sometime after this, being cordially in- 
vited to return home, I gladly consented and remained 
there for about two years, after which several years were 
spent in boarding, and then in keeping house in rented 
houses as before stated. 

During this time while busily engaged, as ever, in 
Christian work, tidings reached me that my much loved 
sister who had been the constant companion and delight 
of my youth, and over whom I had often wept and prayed, 
was lying at the point of death in a hospital in Toronto, 
where she had undergone a severe surgical operation. 
This was followed by a telegram announcing her death. 
As the remains were to be taken to New York I went at 
once, entirely alone, on this sad errand, none of the other 
relatives being so situated that they could accompany me. 
Upon arriving, I learned that she had written to all the 
family bidding them farewell (myself included) before 
going to the hospital, feeling that she would not be likely 
to survive the operation, asking forgiveness of each for 



135 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

anything she had ever said or done to grieve them, and 
expressing her readiness to go. For some reason her let- 
ter to me never reached me, evidently misdirected in the 
excitement and suffering of the moment, and thus I was 
deprived of the comfort which her last words might have 
given to my wounded heart. Her sufferings had been so 
great, that I was advised by the nurses in attendance not 
to look upon her face. 

As I returned to my home accompanied by her remains 
in the baggage car, I praised God for His marvelous 
grace which alone can sustain in such an hour. My soul 
was held in perfect quietness, trusting in the merciful 
Savior to whom I believe she turned in her last hours for 
pardon and salvation. But oh ! how often would He have 
gathered her, even from her earliest childhood, but she 
would not ! How I had striven, both with pen and voice, 
to persuade her to yield her heart to Him, and her life 
(which might have been so useful) to His service! But 
in vain. Had she been willing to listen to those appeals, 
she might have known His great salvation both for soul 
and body, and been spared to a ripe old age, "bringing her 
sheaves with her." It is, however, an unspeakable com- 
fort to me to feel that I shall meet her when Jesus comes 
to waken those who fell asleep in Him. But oh! dear 
reader, I beseech you to take heed that you lose not your 
"full reward," by delaying the matter of your soul's sal- 
vation until the last hours or moments of your life. Of 
this subject of "Rewards" I shall speak more fully later 
on. So sweetly was I sustained at this time, that I was 
able to conduct my usual services the Sunday following 
this event with perfect serenity, although the news had 
been so very sudden and would ordinarily have given me a 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

great shock. How blessed to lean thus upon "the Ever- 
lasting Arms !" How heavenly the peace with which He 
fills the mind which is stayed on Him! Oh that all who 
read these lines may be brought to realize it ! 

At this time I was laboring in the Christian Alliance of 
which I had the charge for five years in this city, and 
while in the midst of my labors there, several friends ad- 
vised me to provide a home for myself, as so much money 
seemed to be thrown away in rent. I had for some time 
felt that this would be advisable, and began to look about 
for a house. Soon I discovered a new house just com- 
pleted, beautifully decorated and with every convenience, 
it seemed, that heart could desire. How charming it was ! 
As I went from room to room and beheld with what 
exquisite taste it was fitted up, a great desire sprang up 
in my heart to possess it ; all the old love of the beautiful 
which had been so fostered in my youth, surged through 
my whole being and the tears really came to my eyes as I 
thought of my lovely childhood's home, and for the first 
time in all the long years which had elapsed since I left 
its doors, my heart ached over its loss. I compared it 
mentally with the poor, dilapidated house which I had 
been renting for four years, and the tempter adroitly 
whispered : "You were never intended for such poor and 
plain surroundings, and such a hard life of toil. You 
would just fit into this house ; take it." Oh how I wanted 
it ! I said to the owner : "I will take the refusal of this 
house for three days." He consented and I returned to 
my humble home, and prayed for guidance. It was given 
in the following way: the next evening I went to prayer 
meeting in the Free Methodist church quite near us, 
thinking I would ask the pastor who had proved a very 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

kind friend in the past, and whose counsel I greatly valued 
to pray for me regarding my choice of a house. It was 
early and no one had yet arrived. As I sat alone, still 
looking to God, I was led to pick up a hymn book which 
lay on the table, and, opening it, my eyes fell at once upon 
a hymn which went like an arrow through my heart, and 
I knew that God had spoken and tenderly rebuked (oh so 
tenderly) his erring child. I cannot now recall the words, 
but the verse began with "Precious worker," and went 
on somewhat in this way: Are you now, after all the 
blessings I have showered upon you, more than making 
up to you all that you forsook for My sake, are you now 
after all these blessed years of service going to return to 
"the beggarly elements of the world" ? Will you not walk 
on with Me? The dear Savior seemed to be just beside 
me looking into my eyes with a grave sweetness which I 
cannot describe. It was a look of mingled love, disap- 
pointment and reproof. 

I was too deeply affected to remain to the prayer meet- 
ing, but hastened home to pour out my heart in my own 
closet before God both in prayer and praise, prayer for 
pardon that I had allowed the enemy to tempt me with the 
false glamour and glitter of the world which had crucified 
my Lord, and to which I had supposed I was forever 
dead; praise that He had so lovingly and graciously re- 
proved me, and caused me to halt just where I was, be- 
fore taking another step in that dangerous path. I could 
never have believed that it would be possible for me to 
sigh for the luxuries of life again, and yet I can thank 
God to-day for the fresh lesson learned of the vanity of 
earthly things, through this temptation and also of my 
Savior's tender, watchful care. More than ever I despised 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

"the things of the world," and still more gladly turned my 
back upon them, and waited at His feet to hear His voice 
as to what He would have me do. 

The following Sunday while sitting in the same church 
waiting for the service to begin, still looking for guid- 
ance, I opened to the following passage, (Prov. 24:27) 
"Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in 
the field; and afterwards thou shalt build thine house." 
Judging from this that God would have me build rather 
than buy a house, I immediately made preparations to do 
so, purchasing a lot in Kenmore, a new suburb of the 
city, and building a simple little cottage upon it for a sum 
less than half of what the beautiful city house would have 
cost. Shortly after moving into it, my dear old friend 
Carrie Judd (now Mrs. Geo. Montgomery,) with her 
husband and mother came at my request to dedicate it to 
the Lord. Mr. Montgomery was asked to read a chapter 
from the Word, and, praying for guidance, he opened to 
these words: "This is the house of the Lord!" Awed 
and melted down before Him we bowed together in 
prayer, and the sweet little home was sacredly set apart 
unto His use in whatever way He might see fit. "Now," 
thought I, "after all my wanderings God has given me a 
little spot which I can call home. Here He would have 
me spend the closing years of my life in peace and quiet- 
ness; He has not forgotten the dear home of my child- 
hood which I left for His sake, and now He has given me 
this precious little nook for my very own for the remainder 
of my days." And every day of my life I praised Him 
for it, with a heart swelling with gratitude and love. Many 
kind friends assisted in furnishing it, and, when com- 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

pletely settled, it was indeed most inviting and sweet, 
and, above all, filled with the presence of God. 

Many difficulties awaited me in carrying on the work of 
God in the city, which was six miles distant, for as yet 
there were neither pavements nor street cars, and some- 
times we (two women alone) came in and out late at 
night over dangerous roads, and facing storms which 
would have caused stouter hearts than ours to quail, and 
would reach the house well-nigh exhausted and too ex- 
cited to sleep. But in the midst of these trials the pre- 
cious seed of the Gospel was being sown in the village of 
Kenmore also, and brought forth a glorious harvest, in 
two young hearts being dedicated wholly to God, healed 
in body, sanctified in spirit and led out to the foreign field, 
one to Africa, the other to China. A weekly meeting was 
opened in my house for Bible study, which was largely 
attended even through the hottest summer evenings. I 
was also privileged to teach the Young Ladies' Bible Class 
in the M. E. Sunday school for several months, and 
through these various channels and by much personal 
conversation, the deeper truths, I trust, found lodgment 
in many hearts. 

Soon after moving to Kenmore, the Holy Spirit began 
dealing with me with regard to the subject of foreign mis- 
sions. My attention had been called only to perishing 
souls in my own city and land during all the years of my 
Christian life, and as I now look back over those busy 
years I can recall hearing but one missionary sermon 
preached in the church of which I was a member ! I recol- 
lect, however, attending a very precious Convention held 
by the W. F. M. S., and was much impressed by the spirit 
of consecration manifested by the godly women present; 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

and I have no doubt if any person filled with the Spirit 
had approached me at that time on the subject of the ap- 
palling condition of the heathen, and had pressed home 
upon me with any degree of solemnity, a sense of my re- 
sponsibility for these perishing millions, my heart would 
have melted, and my conscience (which from the very 
hour of conversion had become exceedingly tender) would 
have at once awakened to see my duty, as well as privilege, 
in regard to them. 

How much broader, fuller, and more Christ-like my life 
would have been! And how many sheaves from all 
earth's darkened lands, I might have gathered to lay at 
Jesus' feet when He comes ! But alas ! no such messenger 
ever came to me, and in my anxiety for souls around me, I 
was too much occupied with my own sphere of labor to 
ever give even a passing thought to or prayer for the 
great throbbing heart of the heathen world, "lying in the 
wicked one" in midnight darkness, ignorance and woe. If 
any one in those days had asked me to expound John 
3 :16, I fear that in my heart, if not in so many words, I 
should have said: "God so loved the United States of 
America etc.," for that was about as broad a view as I 
then took of the "world" for which He gave His only 
begotten Son. Never for one moment did I realize that 
I, personally, would be held responsible, up to my ability, 
for the evangelization of the world. 

I do not attempt to excuse myself, for I knew God and 
closely studied His Word, and I could have informed my- 
self if I had chosen, as to the condition of the heathen na- 
tions of the earth ; but oh ! what account will some of our 
ministers of the Gospel render when the Master comes? 
Why are not their souls on fire for the evangelization of 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

the whole wide world for which Jesus shed His blood? 
"Like priest, like people !" Why are they not educating 
their flock to see their solemn responsibility, and leading 
them forth in the narrow way of holiness and self-denial 
to a life of joyful obedience to God's commands? How 
searching His words in Rom. 8 :9, — "If any man have not 
the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His !" And what did 
the Spirit of Christ lead Him to do ? "To taste death for 
every man!" and this in order that every man might hear, 
believe, and be saved. How have the ministers of the 
Gospel and churches at large obeyed His very last com- 
mand before His ascension ? "Go ye, therefore, and 
teach (or make disciples of) all nations . . . teaching 
them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded 
you." (Matt. 28: 19-20,) and as Mark records it: (Ch. 
16:15.) "Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel 
to every creature?" 

Alas! how must the loving yearning heart of Jesus 
bleed as He looks down upon a selfish, ease-loving church, 
occupied with fairs, festivals, and merry making, unmind- 
ful of the vast army tramping down to the grave in heath- 
en darkness ! I praise Him for leading me at last among a 
people where John 3:16 was preached and believed, and 
where the needs of the dark, unevangelized nations of the 
earth were continually talked of, prayed over, and labored 
for. Under such preaching my eyes were finally directed 
beyond the narrow boundary of the city or even country 
in which I lived, and in the midst of such self-denial and 
generous giving as I had never seen or heard of before, 
my heart soon awakened and I began to look around me 
and say : "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do ?" 

I was soon shown that the giving of money did not, by 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

any means, cover my responsibilities, but that Jesus would 
have me pray and work as earnestly at this end of the line 
as if really on the field, and do all in my power to arouse 
others to see their duty and privilege in this regard. For 
a long time I had felt that I ought to organize a Mission- 
ary Band in connection with my work, but I was so ignor- 
ant of the world in which I live, that I hesitated and 
trembled to undertake it. At last I shut myself in my lit- 
tle ''study" one day alone with God, and said: "Now, 
dear Lord, I will go forward, but how shall I begin?" 

At that moment I was led to take up my tract box, 
hoping to find something which would aid me, and soon 
came to a leaflet headed: "How to start Mission Bands 
and Auxiliaries," which I hailed with joy. But the first 
sentence in it went through my heart like an arrow ; it 
was this : "Begin with yourself !" Falling on my knees 
I said: "Amen, Lord, I will!" Then pouring out my 
heart before Him, I confessed the narrowness of the past, 
and the dear Holy Spirit breathed through me a prayer 
which I pray that He may also breathe through you, my 
reader, this very day if He has not already done so. It 
was this : "Oh, God, give to me now the very view of the 
heathen world which Jesus has, and lay all the burden of 
those souls upon me, which Thou seest I am able to bear." 

Oh if I could tell you, dear reader, how He answered 
that prayer! I was overwhelmed with the sight, and 
could only lie on my face before Him with tears and 
"groanings which could not be uttered." Such waves of 
love and pity rolled over me, it seemed that I could give 
my very life for those poor benighted souls. How I won- 
dered (and have ever since) at the dullness, slowness, and 
selfishness of my past Christian life! How I marvelled 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

at the apathy and indifference of many in the ministry, 
and in the church which He has called to be His bride! 
The promise was made Him to do what I could and all 
that He would enable me by His grace to do, for the re- 
mainder of my days, to advance the cause of missions all 
over the world. 

The Band was organized, every opportunity embraced 
to study the condition of the various nations of the earth, 
and the more I read and prayed, the more the fire burned 
in my soul. When the time arrived for the first public 
meeting of the Band, I could scarcely speak for weeping; 
the Spirit of God fell upon the place, and such blessing 
rested upon us from that time forward that we were soon 
able to support a missionary at $250.00 a year ; many were 
aroused and enlightened, and who can tell where its influ- 
ence will end? 

When we learn what vigorous Christians the heathen 
make, their devotion, self-denial, and faithfulness — even 
to martyrdom — for Jesus' sake, it is enough to cause us to 
hang our heads for very shame over the thousands of fash- 
ionable, worldly-minded professors of Christianity in our 
land ; and even the lives of the most devoted ones among 
us will scarcely bear comparison with them. A converted 
Hottentot said : "What pity it is, what sin it is that you 
have so many years got that heavenly bread, and hold it 
for yourselves ; not to give one little bit, one crumb to the 
poor heathen ! There are so many millions of heathen and 
you could depend upon it you should not have less because 
you gave, but the Lord Jesus would give His blessing and 
you should have the more." 

O, beloved, do not meet these words which I am writ- 
ing with the foolish, worn-out excuse which we so contin- 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

ually hear : We have all we can do to attend to the heathen 
at home! It is true there is a great work to be done at 
home, but must we not obey God and do both? "This 
ought ye to have done and not have left the other undone." 
Can you, for one moment, compare the need in our own 
land with the nearly one thousand millions in heathen 
lands who have never yet so much as heard the name of 
Jesus, to say nothing of the wondrous story of His dying 
love for them ? Oh, ye who have listened to that story all 
your lives from softly cushioned pews, and have accepted, 
perhaps, this loving Savior and heard Him say, "Thy sins 
are forgiven thee," are you willing that the poor, sinful 
wretched heathen should have at least one chance to hear 
what has been preached and sung, and told to you from 
your very cradle? "Yes," you may say, "of course I am 
willing they should hear, but I don't feel the interest in the 
foreign work, so it must be the Lord wants me to give and 
work for missions at home." 

Listen ! will you this very night before going to rest — 
nay, this very hour while reading these words, tell the 
Lord that you do not feel any interest in the heathen and 
ask Him to awaken you ? Then will you begin to read and 
inform yourself regarding their real condition, to pray for 
them daily, and ask Him what He would have you do for 
them ? Will you make a consecration now which takes in 
the world ? Will you say "Anywhere with Jesus," and be 
ready to go yourself, or send your son or daughter — 
cheerfully, joyfully, to the rescue of these helpless ones? 
Whatever the need may be at home, no one can look the 
facts squarely in the face without acknowledging that the 
need in foreign fields is incomparably greater. Why not 
go, give, and send where both labor and money, will tell 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

infinitely more in five years time than in fifteen years at 
home ? Why not go where "the fields are white unto the 
harvest," but where, as yet, no laborer has ever set his 
foot? Paul had the true missionary spirit when he said: 
"Yea, so have I strived to preach the Gospel, not where 
Christ was named, lest I should build upon another man's 
foundation; but, as it is written, To whom He was not 
spoken of, they shall see; and they that have not heard 
shall understand." Rom. 15 :20-21. 

It is an amazing thing to see the churches multiplying 
in our cities and towns, until it is no uncommon sight to 
see three large costly churches within one block! Two 
out of those three should have been planted in heathen 
lands. Our sects and societies are increasing instead of 
decreasing ("a consummation devoutly to be wished") 
and ministers, evangelists, and Christian workers are 
fairly elbowing each other, and, alas ! in many cases, con- 
tending with one another with a most unholy zeal and 
ambition. 

Oh, is it not a sight to make even the angels in heaven 
weep, when millions of idolaters, blindly groping after 
God, are bowing down to senseless things which their own 
hands have made? Can a mother read, unmoved of the 
anguish of the heathen mother's heart as she offers her 
darling babe as a sacrifice to the gods, or strangles the 
baby girl which she has brought into the world because of 
the sneers and contempt with which the helpless little one 
is greeted on every hand? Can she read of the barbarous 
custom of foot-binding in China, child marriage in India, 
disgraced, and ostracised widowhood, woman held down 
by cruelty, ignorance, and superstition until she is re- 
garded with but little more consideration than the beasts 

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MY SUBURBAN HOME 

of the field, the blood-curdling accounts of the slave trade 
in Africa, the dense darkness and despair of papal lands, 
and not feel a longing arise in her heart to send the sav- 
ing, refining and elevating influences of the Gospel to 
these poor, oppressed ones for whom Jesus died ? 

None but Christ can deliver them, nothing, nothing but 
the name of Jesus can cast the devil out of the fair lands 
where he has so long reigned supreme. Nothing but the 
power of His name can liberate the witch doctor, the 
soothsayer, the fakir, the wretched devotee from Satan's 
terrible snare. Education will not do it, civilization will 
not do it — though they may become stepping stones for 
the Gospel, but the world is perishing for the true water 
of Life, the real Bread from heaven, the Lord Jesus Christ. 
Will you go with flying feet and breathe His name — His 
life-giving name into the ear of these dying multitudes? 
Will you settle the matter at once with God as to His will 
concerning your future work? And if He says "go" will 
you obey? But if He says "stay" will you ask Him to 
keep the same fire burning in your heart as if you were 
actually on the field ? If so, by constant prayer, by giving, 
by instructing others, by lending your missionary books 
and papers, in short by giving yourself while at home at 
this all important work of the world's evangelization, you 
will share in the missionary's glorious reward. 

A Christian woman recently had a significant dream. 
She thought the Lord Jesus had come, and was at her 
door. She ran to meet him, but what was her dismay to 
find that He had been in her parlor and gathered together 
the beautiful but useless things with which it was dec- 
orated, and piled them in a heap on one side of the 
room; and on the opposite side was a long row of starv- 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

ing heathen children stretching out their hands for help! 
She was afraid to meet His eye, and as she stood trem- 
bling and ashamed before Him, He said kindly: *'You 
will be saved, but you will not have an abundant en- 
trance." Alas! she had been "tried in the balances and 
found wanting." Beloved, may God grant that you and 
I may be able to say to Him when He comes, "I am pure 
from the blood of all men !" Hear the word of the Lord : 
"When I say unto the wicked, O, wicked man, thou shalt 
surely die ; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from 
his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his 
blood will I require at thine hand." Ez. 38 :8. 



148 




XII. 

IN THE FURNACE. 

HE MOST heart-wrenching trial of all my 
life occurred during the third year of my 
residence in Kenmore, during which it did 
seem that I should be entirely overwhelmed 
in body and soul. The nature of this trial 
was such that it is impossible for me to 
relate the particulars in print, and unless 
all the details could be given it would be 
likely to be greatly misunderstood and thus become a 
stumbling block in the way of many. Suffice it to say 
that it was one of Satan's most fiery darts, a deadly arrow 
flung at me, it would seem, from the very pit. At one 
time for many days my life hung, as it were, by a mere 
thread and not only faith in God but even God Himself 
seemed a myth, a time of such unutterable, exquisite tor- 
ture of body and mind that I shrink from even faintly 
alluding to it. Oh! it was a cruel thrust! It was my 
Gethsemane. Every nerve quivers at the mere mention of 
it, but although so black and so mysterious and I may 
never be able to explain it in this life, thank God I can say, 

"Some time, up there we'll understand." 

And I do praise Him for permitting it all, for out of the 
awful darkness came two gleams of heavenly light, two 
visions of my blessed Saviour which will ever bring 
sweetest comfort, yea rapture to my soul. In the middle 
of the night when death seemed rapidly approaching, sud- 
denly there appeared to my spiritual vision a tall, majes- 



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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

tic form standing beside my bed which I at once knew 
to be my Lord. The face was not revealed but I was con- 
scious that He looked calmly down upon me and uttered 
these thrilling words : "The Son of God" ! The majesty 
and strength of that utterance and the sense of Divine 
protection which it afforded me can never be described. 
It was as if He had appeared in the midst of an awful 
battlefield standing among a legion of demons, as if to 
say : '*My child, I understand it all, I am here." Then He 
vanished from my view ! Oh wonderful, glorious Son of 
God! I will ever praise Thee for thus manifesting Thy- 
self to Thy sinking child in her hour of sorest need. 

Again, a few weeks later, when convalescent and sitting 
upon the piazza in great weakness one morning, heart sore 
and weary because of the heaviness of the way and because 
of His inexplicable dealings with me, while listening to a 
friend reading an article on "The cleft of the rock," sud- 
denly the heavens opened above me and — oh! most pre- 
cious revelation ! — I was shown that I was hidden away in 
Jesus' wounded side! I saw no form, I heard no voice, 
but He was there in the heavenlies and I, poor, storm- 
tossed child, was nestling close in His riven side, a part of 
His very life! Hallelujah to His name forever! Oh! how 
my soul o'erflows with adoring love and joy and praise 
whenever I recall it, and as I write these lines the tears 
rush to my eyes as I think of the exquisite tenderness, the 
rapture of that moment. Never while memory lasts can 
it fade from my view. The vision faded in a moment like 
the one which preceded it, but my Saviour knows that it 
is forever stamped upon my soul. Did not my cloud of 
inky blackness have a silver-ray, a golden lining? I 
would joyfully have spread my wings and flown away to 

150 



IN THE FURNACE 

His breast that very moment, and several times since, but 
alas ! how true it is, as I recently heard a brother in the 
ministry say: — ''Between the vision and the fulfillment 
must come suffering." And so the journey was resumed, 
the daily cross lifted once more, and still my feet are 
pressing on "after the prize of my high calling in Christ 
Jesus." 

Not long after this experience I was called to leave the 
work, in which I had long been engaged and which had 
been very dear to my heart, under most trying circum- 
stances and for some months was engaged in general 
evangelistic work. In the midst of this I was most un- 
expectedly called to close my house for the fall and winter 
and rent a house in the city for seven months. This was 
so contrary to my own desire and plan, that for a week a 
sharp conflict raged within my soul, but being clearly 
shown that God was calling for this self-denial on my 
part that I might be a help and comfort to one in afflic- 
tion I went forward, though with a sinking heart, being 
very feeble in body and seemingly more in need of my 
own quiet home than at any time before. The cottage 
which I had rented proved to be completely filled with 
vermin which it was impossible to exterminate and in 
many ways it proved a winter of trial and affliction dur- 
ing which my heart often turned longingly to the peaceful 
home I had left. But God was moving on. 

After getting settled in my new quarters I began to 
look about me to see what I could do for God, and saw 
that He would have me announce a Bible Reading for the 
following Sunday afternoon in the parlor of the house. I 
did so, having no idea what the character of the meeting 
would be. The rooms were filled, and the power of God 

151 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

attended the service to such an extent that I was ied to 
announce another meeting for the next week and so on, 
from week to week, the interest in the meantime becom- 
ing more and more intense until it seemed Hke a continu- 
ous revival. Sinners were saved, believers sanctified, suf- 
fering ones healed, and finally as the month of May drew 
near and the time of the rental of the house expired and 
of our return to Kenmore, a protracted meeting was an- 
nounced for the closing Sunday which ran for five hours 
and was indeed a fitting close to the wonderful services 
of the winter. A friend offered her parlors for the meet- 
ing until I could see what God would have me do with 
it for it was evident to all that He would have it continue. 
It soon became uncomfortably crowded, and I began to 
consider renting either a hall or a church, and while 
thinking it over as I lay awake one night I prayed for 
the guidance of the Holy Spirit as to where He would 
have the Sunday meeting held. Suddenly a voice said 
with startling distinctness : "Take a house" ! I knew in 
the depths of my soul that God had spoken. Trembling 
and astonished, sleep fled from my eyes, for the mere 
mention of the word "house" suggested to my mind a 
never-to-beforgotten incident which occurred several 
years before this while visiting at a certain Faith Home 
at the sea shore which I must pause to relate. 

At that time I believe that the Lord showed me that I 
would yet be called upon to open a similar Home and en- 
ter upon a life of faith, but the thought was so distressing 
to me that I strove to banish it from my mind. At the 
Home where I was visiting, Gospel meetings were held 
weekly, and for the month that I was there I do not recall 
a single meeting where some one did not testify with 

152 



IN THE FURNACE 

regard to forsaking all to follow Christ and going forth 
by faith like the apostles of old "without purse or scrip," 
etc. This invariably caused a strange fluttering and sink- 
ing at my heart and a fear lest I too should be called into 
a similar path. 

One quiet Sunday afternoon while waiting upon God to 
know His will, He said : — "Take your Bible and go down 
by the sea." I obeyed, and seating myself in the sand I 
looked up to God with all my heart and said: — "Speak, 
Lord, for Thy servant heareth," asking for some message 
from His word which would reveal to me His will con- 
cerning my property a subject about which my mind had 
been much exercised since my arrival. Feeling deeply the 
solemnity of the moment my heart beat high as I opened 
the Bible with closed eyes and, upon opening them, looked 
down upon the following searching words : — "If thou wilt 
be perfect, sell that thou hast and give to the poor, and 
thou shalt have treasure in heaven ; and come, follow Me." 
(Mat, 19:21.) For a few moments I felt stunned; it did 
seem hard. It was not that my heart was set upon my 
possessions for I had been giving freely on every hand in 
the work of the Lord and with great joy, but I never could 
have dreamed that I would be actually called to forsake 
all and left to depend solely upon God for the necessaries 
of life. It did seem that there could not be one more unfit 
for such a life of faith in every way. As I started to go 
back to the cottage I indeed felt a sense of loneliness and 
desolation sweeping over me as if I was already strip- 
ped of everything and thrown upon a heartless world. At 
that moment the sweet words of "I'm a child of the King" 
were brought forcibly to my mind (by the dear Holy 

153 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Spirit, I am sure), and comforted and strengthened some- 
what, I went on my way. 

From that day I have felt that I would be some day 
called to enter upon a life of faith. On the day of the 
dedication of my house Mrs. Montgomery said to me 
suddenly : — "Have you ever felt that God was calling you 
to open a Faith Home?" Upon my replying rather 
evasively, she said: ''Well, I am quite sure He is. I 
have felt very much impressed about it." My heart sank 
but I said nothing. 

Now, dear reader, you can judge something of my feel- 
ings when God spoke to me in the midnight hour and said 
"Take a house" ! In a moment the situation broke upon 
me. It meant a Faith Home, (that much dreaded thing!) 
and the Sunday meeting would be held there. In the 
morning I went forth in the neighborhood where the 
meeting had been held in search of a house, supposing 
that it must necessarily be located near where the little 
flock resided. Let me beg you to learn a most important 
lesson (as I have done) from the great mistake which I 
now made in the matter of guidance which I will relate in 
the following chapter. 



154 



XIII. 

A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE. 

"And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying 
This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the 
right hand, and when ye turn to the left." Jer. 
30:21. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the 
way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with 
mine eye." Ps. 32:8. 

TRANGE to relate, though I spent many 
weeks praying and searching for a suitable 
house, it never entered my mind to ask 
God to lead me to the very house which He 
would have me take. Or, rather, I should 
say, it never occurred to me to ask Him 
to show me what part of the city the house 
was in ! Therefore much time and strength 
were spent and carfare, also, very needlessly going to and 
fro, guided only by my own human reasonings. Finally I 
discovered a new brick house in the locality of the meet- 
ing, large and with all modern conveniences and the 
owner said that as I wished it for Christian work I could 
have it for $18.00 per month. On the west side of the 
city it would have rented undoubtedly for $30.00. Much 
delighted, I told him I would take the refusal of the house 
for three days. 

Then the conflict began. As I waited upon God, hours 
at a time, to learn if this was His choice, not a sound broke 
the stillness, not a ray of light could I see. The third day 
was drawing to a close and still no light. Much distressed 
I cried : "But, Lord, why can't I have that house ? It is 




155 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

just what I need, and then, too, it is so cheap, and just the 
very locality for the people. Oh ! do speak to me, Lord ! 
Say something, either 'yes' or 'no' before the man comes 
for his answer." Only silence. My head became so weary 
and confused and my spirit so burdened and perplexed 
that by the time the man arrived it seemed unbearable. I 
seemed to be losing such an excellent opportunity, and I 
could give no reason for refusing his offer, yet I dared not 
take so important a step without a direct command from 
God. As I went down the stairs I could only say, "Well, 
Lord, what can I do? I will open my mouth and Thou 
must fill it." After meeting the young man, with a kind 
of desperation I opened my mouth and this was what the 
Lord put into it: "I do not feel that I can take your 
house." Much disappointed he replied: "What fault do 
you find in it? Does not the price suit you?" "It is all 
that I could desire," I said, "but all I can say to you is 
this: perhaps you are not a Christian man and may not 
at all understand me, but after great prayer and waiting 
upon God I do not get any light upon taking it. That is 
the only reason I can give." Looking down very gravely 
he said: "I am not a Christian but I have a Christian 
mother, and I think I understand what you mean." Af- 
ter a little further conversation he arose to go, kindly 
wishing me success in my undertaking, and I returned to 
my room feeling as if a mountain had been lifted from 
my shoulders, and thought, as I threw myself into a chair 
with a sigh of relief, that a quiet voice (His voice) said: 
"I have something better for you." Immediately my mind 
was strongly drawn over towards the west side of the city 
a long distance from where I was then located, but of this 
I said nothing to any one at the time, feeling that it would 

156 



A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE 

be looked upon as a delusion. Weeks rolled by and as 
I received no further command from God I began to 
feel that the whole thing was only a trick of the enemy 
to lure me into a very trying work for which I was in no 
way fitted and which would only end in confusion and re- 
proach upon the cause. 

So I tried to go on with my work, but alas ! the blessed 
anointing, which had rested constantly upon me in the 
meetings, disappeared to a great extent; the interest 
waned, and my precious meeting seemed to have become a 
load and a drag upon me, and I had no peace night or 
day. After a time I could endure it no longer, and again 
began praying about a house, and said publicly in the 
meeting that it seemed I should be obliged to go forward, 
as I could get no rest. Just as this juncture I had a very 
remarkable dream, which was undoubtedly given of the 
Lord. I had been constantly praying for such sure and 
clear guidance, either by a dream, or through the Word, 
or by the voice of the Spirit, that I could never, never 
doubt that God had led me to the house which He wished 
me to have. And so He answered, not only by a dream, 
but also in two other ways. One Friday night I dreamed 
that a short, fleshy woman came to me, and, pointing three 
times most emphatically in a certain locality on the West 
Side of the city, said to me, ''There, right there, is where I 
believe the Lord wants the house." And, as she spoke, 
fire broke out in every window and door of a house which 
appeared before me. This, I thought, was the glory of 
God, and it filled me with great joy, a thrill of power 
going through my frame from head to foot. I said to 
the woman, "Why, how remarkable! That is the very 
locality towards which my mind has been directed." And 

157 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

indeed it was, but I had said nothing about it to anyone. 

When the dream came to my mind, the next day, while 
in prayer, I knew it was of God, and at once set out to 
look through the locality indicated, but could settle upon 
nothing. The next night in prayer I said, "Lord, I will 
take such and such a house to-morrow, unless you tell me 
to the contrary." Instantly the same blessed Voice said, 
"Fargo Avenue, near Connecticut!" This was in the 
locality shown in the dream! Wondering and trembling 
I went forth, praying all the way. When I reached Fargo 
Avenue I walked slowly down both sides of the block 
near Connecticut Street, but not a house for rent could I 
see. Discovering one for sale, I went in, but could make 
nothing out of it, and in the meantime left my umbrella 
behind me. After walking on some distance, feeling ut- 
terly sick at heart, I thought, "Well, I am just being made 
a fool of by the devil," and felt like sitting down on some 
stoop near by and crying for about an hour. Just then 
I missed my umbrella, and retraced my steps wearily to 
go after it. On the way back a lady approached me, 
walking rapidly, and said, "Isn't this Miss Prosser?" I 
said, "It is." She said, "I used to see you often in Carrie 
Judd's meeting years ago." After chatting awhile I told 
her my errand and said mournfully, "I thought the Lord 
said 'Fargo Avenue, near Connecticut Street,' but there 
is nothing here for rent." "Why yes, there is," she re- 
plied, "Didn't you see it? The notice is on a small card 
hanging inside the window. And it is the very house 
occupied by Carrie Judd for her first Faith Home ! Look 
at it!" and she pointed to a house just three doors from 
Connecticut on Fargo ! 

Dear reader, such a flood of joy, of tenderness, of ador- 

158 



A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE 

ing love, rushed over my soul las I took in at a glance the 
house once used and consecrated by the prayers of my 
precious, old-time friend, that I felt as if I should sink to 
the earth. I really did not know whether to laugh, cry, 
jump, or shout, but I wanted to do a little of each ! How 
good of my dear Heavenly Father to thus lead so wonder- 
fully His feeble, trembling child to the very house once 
occupied by one w^hom He had so signally used and 
blessed, and one so dear to my heart ! It seemed indeed 
like following in her very footsteps. Oh, it was so 
sweetly significant, so tender, so precious! I ran with 
eager feet after the umbrella which had been the means 
in God's hands of meeting with the unknown friend, and 
then went to the owner, told my wonderful story, and 
secured the house. Soon after this the Lord showed me 
that I would dedicate it on my fiftieth birthday, and so it 
proved, for on Thursday evening, October 15th, the occa- 
sion of my fiftieth birthday, w^e had our dedication ser- 
vice, and it was a time never to be forgotten. The dear 
people were so happy that many were weeping with joy. 
Mrs. E. V. Baker of Elim Home, Rochester, addressed 
the meeting, and delighted us all with an account of the 
wonderful growth of her work of faith there, and was 
followed by Rev. Mr. Parsons, pastor of the Hudson 
Street Baptist Church of this city, with a most helpful 
address on the full Gospel, and I tried to tell, in the midst 
of my tears, of the weak, puny little baby who arrived in 
this world fifty years ago, and tipped the scales at four 
and a half pounds, and of the wonderful conversion and 
healing, and steppings in the Lord up to the present time. 
After which dear Mrs. Baker and Mr. Parsons laid hands 
upon my head in prayer, thus setting me apart in faith 

159 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

to the work which the Home would involve. Then fol- 
lowed the dedication of the house itself, and the service 
closed with the anointing of a dear young girl who desired 
healing. 

Several excellent donations came in during the day, 
both in furniture and money, and altogether it was a red- 
letter day in the life of one who feels herself unworthy 
of the least of God's countless mercies. Glory to His 
Name! 

I would say with regard to this most wonderful three- 
fold guidance which, wherever related, has filled the 
hearts of God's people with overflowing praise, that it 
was preceded by at least three months of almost constant 
prayer, and it was indeed a time of deep heart searching 
and renewed consecration of myself and all of my earthly 
store to God. At times as I looked around me at the dear 
little cottage home which my heart strings had uncon- 
sciously twined so closely about, and realized that it was 
evidently the plan of God that I should go forth leaving 
it behind me and step out in an unknown and untried path, 
perhaps never to return, faith and courage nearly failed. 
It was so different from what I had hoped. Sometimes it 
seemed so unreal, like a troubled dream, and I thought it 
could not be that God would demand of me such a sacri- 
fice. As the time drew near for the opening of the Faith 
Home, I realized that although my will had yielded to the 
will of God in the matter, and for the second time in my 
life I had laid my home upon the altar, yet there had not 
at any time been a joyful surrender, and I knew that noth- 
ing short of that would satisfy His heart or restore to me 
His abiding peace. One thing in regard to the new Home 
had seemed utterly impossible for me to do. I felt that 

160 



A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE 

I could open the Home and that faith would be given me 
to trust for the necessary funds to carry it on, but that I 
should wish to place a matron over it, I could never con- 
sent to live in it myself. In fact a friend long experienced 
in such a life had earnestly advised me not to undertake 
to live in such a Home, saying that I would be pulled this 
way and that by the sick ones coming and going, who 
would hang upon me continually, almost sapping my very 
life, and that I could seldom count upon an hour that I 
could call my own for meditation, study or prayer, there- 
fore it would be wiser for me to remain outside and visit 
the Home daily as occasion might require. This I firmly 
determined to do. But, to my astonishment, as I looked 
to God about it, I was shown that I could not walk in 
light given to another but that He had His own plan and 
light for me, and I could get no permission to remain out- 
side the Home. To this also I said, "Yes, Lord," but with 
a sinking heart and a dread indescribable. Finally crying 
out that He would fill me with a spirit of joyful obedience, 
He just poured such a sweet love of His will, and such a 
glad acquiescence into my heart that with happy tears 
streaming down my face I said : "Yes, Lord, I can, I can 
do it and I will. Thou knowest the path that I take. 
Thou wilt temper the wind for me and not lay upon me 
greater burdens than I can bear. Thy will be done." Up 
to the day when we were to leave Kenmore, I had not 
been shown whether He would have me take all my furni- 
ture with me or not, or what was to be done with the cot- 
tage, so that after the moving van arrived, I could only 
go forward trusting in the guidance of the Spirit from 
one moment to the next, and as I received no command 
to the contrary, the house was emptied of all furniture, 

161 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

the key turned in the door and we walked quietly out, not 
venturing to look behind us for a farewell glance. As the 
car drew near to our new home my soul was filled with 
such joy, that I could scarcely refrain from shouting 
aloud. 

"I would rather walk in the dark with God, 
Than to walk alone by sight." 

Soon after entering my new home and getting settled I 
was shown that God would have me open a Missionary 
Training School, in connection with the work where young 
men and women who had not the means nor time to at- 
tend a Bible Institute out of town, might study in evening 
classes and become fitted for Christian work either at 
home or abroad as He might call. This was more than I 
had asked or thought, and seemed like the realization of 
my heart's deepest desire, for as the years had gone by 
my love and pity for the poor heathen had steadily in- 
creased and the thought that I might be the means of 
awakening /and sending out Spirit-filled young men and 
women who should carry the precious Gospel to the ends 
of the earth filled me with joy and praise almost unspeak- 
able. Accordingly the adult classes were opened and, 
soon after, several juvenile mission bands also were started 
by Miss Olive Plumstell, and thus a missionary fire was 
started which has never died out up to the present time. 
This has indeed proved the most important and, praise 
God, the most successful work, by far, which has ever 
been committed to my trust. It was almost as truly a 
leap of faith in opening it, as if I had actually stepped out 
without means, for at the time when called to it, my prop- 
erty was seriously involved and my affairs had been placed 

162 



A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE 

in an attorney's hands who gave me but little encourage- 
ment as to the outcome. I had a little money on hand 
but it was soon swallowed up in the heavy expenses of the 
city house. 

This financial trial which began while living in Ken- 
more, would once have well-nigh overwhelmed me with 
anxious care, but, to the glory of God, be it said that my 
peace was undisturbed and I can testify that not a sleep- 
less night was passed, nor a tear shed, on account of it. 
If my Father's will to take it from me, my heart could 
say. Amen. While the matter was pending, I was led to 
subscribe $100 in a missionary band of which I was a 
member at that time. While all in the meeting were 
kneeling in prayer I was looking to God to know how 
much He would have me subscribe for the coming year. 
I could then count on just fifty cents a week which came 
to me from one music scholar, but I felt sure that God 
was training me in the way of faith and that He wished 
me to launch out upon the promises and pledge as much 
as ever before, if not more. I was a little startled when 
the answer came, "Say $100." But I recalled how a sis- 
ter of my acquaintance had made a similar pledge of $500 
by faith and God had wonderfully met her in it, even 
sending more than that amount, and so after a fight with 
the adversary over it, I arose from my knees and an- 
nounced to the audience that the dear Lord was going to 
let me give $100 for missions during the coming year. 
This was hailed with great joy by the people and was an 
incentive to others to pledge much larger sums than ever 
before. I had no sooner reached home than Satan com- 
menced sneering at and taunting me, saying, "Where do 
you expect that even one dollar of it is coming from?" 

163 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

This, I think, caused me to feel that I must make some 
effort, personally, to earn at least a portion of the money, 
and I concluded to take the agency for a very spiritual 
book which I thought would prove a blessing to all who 
might purchase it, and the proceeds could be devoted to- 
wards the amount pledged. As I went from house to 
house among my neighbors and friends, explaining my 
object, nearly every one took the book, but in my busy 
life, I had but little time to devote to it and the close of 
the year found me lacking about $12.00 of the needed 
amount. In the meantime my needs had been fully sup- 
plied by the dear Lord, by the Holy Spirit stirring first 
one then another to send to my necessities. The first 
amount came while I was engaged in fasting and prayer, 
in the form of a check for $50.00 from one, quite a 
stranger to me, who had heard of my financial troubles. 
Soon after this, another was moved to offer me the loan 
of $100, saying that if ever able to return it I could do so, 
but, if not, he would be satisfied. Another friend kindly 
put $10.00 in my hand on one occasion, and thus I was 
shown the loving hand of my Father stretched out in my 
behalf throughout the year. When any money came in I 
took out one-tenth for my mission fund but, as I was 
about to relate, when the day drew near in which the 
treasurer was to call upon me for the amount pledged, I 
was still lacking a considerable sum. During the whole 
year I had been held in perfect quietness concerning it, 
confidently expecting that God would meet it, but I must 
confess that I was much distressed when I found that I 
had but one day left and nothing coming in, and for an 
hour or two wrestled in prayer upon my face before God 
in anguish of mind lest I should come short of His glory, 

164 



A THREE-FOLD GUIDANCE 

which I felt I should do if I were to lack one cent of the 
amount promised when the time came, Satan assailed my 
soul now with many "I told you so's" and cunning argu- 
ments, and reminded me of the fact that all Kenmore, 
and many in Buffalo, were looking on with critical eyes 
and that I would simply appear a fool before them all. 

It was indeed a battleground and somehow I realized 
at the time that all my future life hinged upon the out- 
come, that if God failed me now I would never be able to 
trust Him for money again, and had He not shown me 
at the seashore that He would eventually call me to such 
a life of utter dependence upon Him that I would be com- 
pelled to trust Him for my daily bread ? It seemed at last 
that my faith rose to such a holy boldness that I told Him 
that He dared not fail me, His Word was at stake, His 
glory, and I had pledged the money in simple obedience 
and done my part all the year so far as I knew. Now I 
claimed and expected that every cent of it should be in my 
hands when the treasurer called the following day. 

Before night $70.00 came in from two different friends 
who had owed me money for a long time, one of whom 
was not able to pay, and the other would not. On that 
very day the Lord enabled one to pay me and made the 
other do so. The latter knew nothing of my pledge. Then 
there was another scene in my study ! Again, on my face 
before God, I said, "Lord, I can't say anything! You 
know how glad and thankful I am." Then, as I grew 
very still before Him, He said, "My child, can you not see 
that you did not need to work so hard to help Me out? 
Have I not sent you to-day more than you have earned 
with your book through the entire year?" And oh, how 
tenderly He reproved me and showed me that His eye 

165 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

had been upon that little mission box every moment of 
the time, and that though He had borne with me in my 
fooHsh zeal and had even inclined people to buy the book, 
He would have shown me "a more excellent way" at the 
very outset, if I had asked Him. Never can I forget the 
hour then spent softly weeping for joy at His blessed feet, 
so thankful for the lesson learned and for His faithfulness 
towards His stumbling child. All glory be to His name 
forever! When the treasurer called the next morning I 
met him at the door not only with one hundred dollars but 
with a testimony which sent him on his way rejoicing. 

Thus you can see, dear reader, how I was being trained 
in the school of Christ for the life of trust into which He 
has since called me. 

"And now I have thrown myself recklessly out 

Like a chip on the stream of His infinite will, 
I pass the rough rocks with a smile and a shout, 
And I just let my God His dear purpose fulfil." 



166 




XIV. 

REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES. 

AVING received such clear guidance re- 
garding the opening of the new home, I 
felt that I must claim guidance equally un- 
mistakable as to what was to be done to 
the old one. Much time was spent in 
prayer concerning it — often several hours 
at a time — and yet an entire year or more 
went by without any answer from God. 
This was very perplexing and, I have no doubt, placed me 
in an absurd light before many who were looking on, un- 
able to understand the step w^hich I had taken. To leave 
a comfortable home on which there was no incumbrance, 
and move into a city house which involved such expense 
was indeed peculiar in their eyes, but when they beheld 
my house standing closed over a year, many, I presume, 
looked upon the whole thing as the gravest mistake which 
I had ever made. Finally a day came when I felt that 
God was drawing near and was about to speak to me 
concerning the matter. An interested friend kindly joined 
me in prayer and together we laid it before God precisely 
as I had done so many times before. This was the re- 
quest : "Shall the house in Kenmore be sold, rented, ex- 
changed for city property, or kept for some kind of 
Christian work?" Asking for a plain answer either from 
the written Word or by the voice of the Spirit, I opened 
my Bible and my eyes fell upon these words : ''And they 
shall not sell of it neither exchange, nor alienate the first 
fruits of the land, for it is holy unto the Lord." (Ezekiel 



167 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

48 :14.) Surely I could ask for nothing plainer ! Oh how 
blessed to wait for the Spirit's guiding hand in all things ! 
I then asked that, if it was best for me to rent it, a Chris- 
tian tenant who would take good care of it might be sent 
speedily. Within a week such a man applied and took 
possession of the house. I write these particulars in order 
that friends of this work may understand why I do not 
sell my house as I have now reached the place where my 
own means which have been most cheerfully used for the 
support of this Home and Training School are about ex- 
hausted, and the question would naturally arise why I do 
not either return there or dispose of the property and use 
the money for my own support and to carry on the school. 
I could not live in Kenmore and continue this work as the 
distance is far too great, and I dare not sell or exchange 
the house without a clear command from God, after hav- 
ing received so plain a message from Him regarding it. 
My hope has been that it might be used for an orphanage 
or in some way as a branch of the city work, especially as 
He so forcibly reminded me that it is a dedicated house. 

For the first three years the sick were coming and going 
continually and many dear sufferers have here learned 
how to take the Lord Jesus as the Healer of body as well 
as soul and returned to their homes rejoicing in "the lib-' 
erty wherewith Christ has made us free." Some very! 
serious cases of melancholia, which must certainly have 
resulted in entire insanity, have been delivered fromj 
Satan's clutches and are to-day happy and engaged in ac-j 
tive service in the vineyard. Some have received theii 
sight. One dear brother in the ministry who had longj 
worn glasses was instantly healed, laid aside his glasses] 
and has never needed them since; another was blind in 

168 



REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES 

one eye and afflicted with bronchial trouble. He called 
one day for anointing and prayer and on his way home 
discovered to his great joy that the sight was perfectly 
restored to the eye which had been blind for years. Many 
cases might be mentioned of healing in answer to prayer, 
both of guests in the Home and the sick in other towns 
who have written to us requesting prayer. To God alone 
be all the glory. Before leaving this subject I will refer 
to one or two experiences of healing through which I 
have myself passed since opening the Home, for I can 
assure you, dear reader, that Satan has raved and roared 
at times over the work of the Holy Ghost wrought here 
and the signs and wonders attending the Word; and he 
has verily tried on several occasions to take my life or to 
lay me aside on a bed of helplessness if nothing more. An 
attack of colic and inflammation of the bladder left me in 
such a prostrated condition that for many weeks I feebly 
crept about the house in a most wretched state of body 
and mind. Other difficulties set in, accompanied by such 
an onslaught of Satan spiritually as I had never experi- 
enced before. During these long weeks of suffering I 
was cheered on, when nearly fainting by the way, by 
precious hymns and messages from God given me from 
time to time. I was wakened one morning early by the 
following words spoken as if in my ear: — 

"Oh watch, and fight and pray, 
The battle ne'er give o'er, 
Renew it boldly every day 
And help Divine implore." 

This ringing battle cry spurred me on afresh when so 
weary of the conflict that I had besought Him to take me 
home. I saw that, instead of starting out each morning in 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

mere endurance of His will, He, the great Captain of my 
salvation, was calling me to follow Him into the thickest 
of the fray and day by day to buckle on "the whole armor 
of God" afresh. Thus He would "fulfill the work of faith 
with power" until He called me to exchange the cross for 
the crown. This patience or perseverance of faith seems 
to me to be a lesson daily to be learned in the school of 
Christ. But alas! we are so apt to grow faint-hearted 
and discouraged after resisting the devil in hand-to-hand 
conflict for a few days or weeks. During this time of 
great trial in spirit and body I was given a faint glimpse 
of what our blessed Lord endured during forty long days 
and nights of constant exposure to the fierce temptation 
of Satan, and at its close we are told that he only "de- 
parted from Him for a season." How many such ter- 
rific onslaughts His pure soul endured (for our sakes) 
during His life on earth in the flesh, we are not told. No 
wonder the Word tells us to "consider Him .... lest 
we be wearied and faint in our minds." Then again when 
about to throw myself on my bed one afternoon to rest, 
the Spirit said with startling distinctness ; "Read." "What 
shall T read, Lord" ? I inquired. "Your hymn book," was 
the reply. Holding the book in my hand unopened I 
again asked "Where"? As distinctly as before the an- 
swer came — "No. 24" ! On turning to that number I 
found the following thrilling hymn on the Holy Spirit by 
Faber, one which I had never before read: — 

"He comes ! He comes ! that mighty Breath, 
New being to impart, 
His uncreated freshness fills 
Each consecrated heart!" 

As I was daily looking to Him to quicken my body anew 

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REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES 

by the Spirit, nothing could have comforted and revived 
my hopes as this glorious hymn did on that weary after- 
noon. "His uncreated freshness" ! Yes, He is "the 
Eternal Spirit" (Heb. 9:14) and will indeed manifest His 
fresh life through our entire being from moment to 
moment, like the blessed well of water springing up into 
everlasting life" which Jesus said He should be within us. 
(Jo. 4:14.) From that day I began to look more confi- 
dently for the quickening of my body by the "mighty 
Breath" whom He had thus assured me should impart 
"new being" unto me; carefully watching the way as I 
stepped on with Him and spending much time in a wait- 
ing attitude before Him. But I was called to pass through 
still greater weakness before deliverance came. There 
came a day of such exhaustion and testing that I felt I 
could hold out no longer. I craved the cooling juice of an 
orange and one was handed me but I had not even 
strength to hold it to my lips and squeeze the juice from 
it. That night God spoke (as He always does in our great 
extremity, in some way. Bless His Name!) and gently 
wakening me He gave me the following precious verse of 
a hymn which I had sung a few times but had never 
memorized : — 

"Weary of my self-deceiving, 

Then His truth broke like a flood ; 

I go onward just believing, 

Trusting in my Saviour's blood. 

Now the waters wild are sleeping, 

Jesus speaks, the tempest stills. 

And a holy peace comes creeping 

Like the sunlight down the hills." 

Wondering much at this, I lay awake trying to think of 
the name of this hymn and what its significance was to me 

171 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

at that time. My heart bounded with joy when I learned 
in the morning that the name was "Present Victory" ! At 
our morning worship the Bible opened to the "Bread of 
Life" chapter, John 6, and we were led to talk long on vs. 
53-56. "He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood," 
etc., and with it Eph. 5 :30, "We are members of His body, 
of His flesh and of His bones." This conversation I well 
remember continued from 9 A. M. until 2 P. M. There 
was at that time a young lady stopping at the house whom 
the Lord had healed of heart disease years ago through 
my instrumentality and whom He had now sent in turn 
to greatly strengthen my own faith. I had often longed 
to more fully comprehend those wonderful words men- 
tioned above and had prayed that if it were indeed true 
that I could take by faith, the very body of Christ and if 
I am actually bone of His bone and flesh of His flesh, 
He might reveal it to me, but I did not dream that He 
would lead me over so rough a path to answer my prayer ! 
Oh! if we only understood Him better! As we two 
women sat thus talking long and earnestly over these 
"deep things of God," as in the case of the two walking 
to Emmaus, "Jesus Himself drew near" unto us. Not 
that there was any special manifestation of His presence, 
but by His wondrous grace He enabled me then and there 
to say very quietly and by simple faith: — "Well, as the 
Word says so, I will step out on it even though I do not 
understand it at all, and declare it is true." Then kneel- 
ing down I told Him in a few words that I believed I was 
a member of His glorified body, of His flesh and of His 
bones, and that therefore the work which was before me 
to do I could do easily in Him, and that it would really be 
Jesus doing, walking, teaching, playing the organ, singing, 

172 



REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES 

that in some mysterious way, (I knew not how) I was so 
brought into union with His body offered, broken and 
risen for me that I could say in a deeper sense than ever 
before: — "I live and yet not I," but this is the body of 
Christ. And therefore it must be complete. We arose 
from our knees and I did not realize any particular change 
but went quietly through the day determined that on the 
following day (which was the Sabbath) I would go for- 
ward with all my duties without a fear, knowing that 
Jesus would be equal to all and would actually do them 
all. It had been said to me : "When Satan sees that he 
can no longer make you fear, he will flee." The duties 
before me the next day if I were in my usual health would 
be these : — ^A Gospel meeting in the Home commencing at 
3 :30 and always running until 6 :30, sometimes later. In 
this meeting I must play the organ, lead the singing (and 
we sing a great deal), give a Bible reading, followed by 
a testimony meeting, then barely have time to take supper 
and go at once down into the slums to the Rescue Mis- 
sion to lead a meeting there, reaching home after ten 
o'clock. As I was still suffering physically as much as 
before, save the quieting of the nerves of which I spoke, 
it did look like a wild thing to undertake, in fact a simple 
impossibility. Satan sneered and said: "Do you think 
you are going to prepare two Bible readings in the morn- 
ing and do all that work besides ?" When the day came I 
inquired of the Lord first of all if He wished me to take 
both meetings, and if so, what should I speak upon in the 
afternoon ? He gently said : — "Leave that all with Me." 
How delightfully restful ! Nothing to do but let Him 
do! Then I inquired regarding the evening meeting at 
the Mission, and was shown that I would find what I 

173 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

required in la book of my Bible Readings just at my hand 
on my desk. It opened to a reading on repentance which 
proved just what was needed. Afternoon found me labor- 
ing with seekers after the service till 7 o'clock. Satan 
whispered : — "Better be careful ! Aren't you doing too 
much?" A momentary tremor seized me but I said: — 
"This is the body of Jesus, and it is He who is doing all 
this in me." A hasty lunch and we were off for the mis- 
sion. All the way I said : "It is not I but Christ, and He 
is equal to this trip." To the praise of His grace be it 
said that I went through the meeting with ease, came 
home and retired at 10 :30 without a trace, even, of weari- 
ness and slept peacefully all night. 

Upon lawakening in the morning I found to my un- 
bounded joy that I was completely healed ! How, or when, 
I never knew ! The "Mighty Breath" had in His own 
mysterious way silently worked and removed every trace 
of disease in my body, and I felt that the Holy Spirit had 
indeed imparted "new being" as He had sweetly promised 
to do. "Oh for a thousand tongues to sing my great Re- 
deemer's praise" ! Oh ! that I could find words to tell 
how my soul exulted in this glorious victory and how 
much sweeter it seemed from the fact that it had been 
won on one of the most terrific battle grounds of my 
Christian experience. 

On another occasion when "la grippe" was epidemic in 
our city I was taken with a severe attack of it, which, in 
spite of the prayers of many friends, continued for several 
weeks. Twice during the attack, Satan aimed his fiery 
darts at my brain, and such a pressure came upon the top 
of the head and such a horror of great darkness settled 
down upon me, that it did indeed seem if it had continued 

174 



REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES 

much longer my reason would have fled. At these times 
the presence of Satan and his attendant demons was ter- 
ribly real, they seemed to be pressing upon me and around 
me on all sides, and my soul was filled with an indescrib- 
able terror and dismay. Calling for a friend who was 
rooming with me to lay her hands upon my head I at once 
began inwardly rebuking the enemy, not daring to let 
anyone know of what I was passing through. Such a 
sense of utter helplessness came upon me that I seemed 
entirely powerless before the foe, and could only feebly 
utter the name of Jesus and beg for His mercy. At last 
it struck me that I must hold up "the shield of faith," and 
I knew no better shield than His almighty name, so I 
held up my right hand as if it were a shield high above 
my head, and continually bade the enemy depart in the 
name of Jesus, which I placed between my head and the 
''fiery darts" which seemed flying all about me. When I 
could no longer hold up my arm I supported it with the 
left hand, calling also on the Holy Spirit to lift up a stan- 
dard against the foe according to His promise. "When 
the enemy cometh in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord 
shall lift up a standard against him." (Margin, "put him 
to flight.") 

For about an hour the conflict continued, when sud- 
denly it was as if dense clouds of inky blackness parted 
just over my head and rolled swiftly away, and the 
blessed Spirit of God fell gently upon me with His own 
heavenly peace and rest, the room filled with His presence 
and I sank at once into a sweet, refreshing sleep. My re- 
covery from this attack of grippe was as follows : While 
at the Faith Home of Mrs. E. V. Baker in Rochester, 
where I had been taken by friends hoping to receive bene- 

175 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

fit, my attention was directed one evening to a magazine 
lying upon my table which had been loaned by one of the 
inmates of the house. It opened in my hand to the fol- 
lowing words, in an article by Andrew Murray on "The 
Triumph of the Cross:" "The Prince of this world is 
now cast out. He no longer has power to hold in bondage 
those who long for deliverance. He now only rules over 
those who consent to be his slaves ! There is now a per- 
fect deliverance for all who yield themselves to Christ and 
His cross; having spoiled principalities and powers, He 
made a show of them openly, triumphing over them in it." 
(Col. 2:15.) This did indeed bring new and precious 
light, the fact that Satan could hold me captive no longer 
than I would consent to allow him ! And while meditating 
upon these words before retiring, it came to me very forci- 
bly that I should summon three friends who were in the 
House to come to my room at once, and join me in taking 
a mighty stand against the "powers" which were still 
binding me. 

While waiting for them to assemble, I was again led to 
another book upon the table ("The School of Prayer," by 
the same author) and opening to the remarkable chapter 
on "The Will of God," I read on and on with increasing 
wonder and delight. There I saw as never before that as 
God had revealed to me in His word, that healing is His 
will for His children, He would have my will rise to meet 
His own and coincide with it in my deliverance, and that 
His thought in saying to the impotent man at the pool 
"Wilt thou be made whole?" was not so much an inquiry 
as to the wish or desire of the man as it was regarding his 
will in the matter. That is, it was as if He had said: 
"Can your will rise to claim deliverance? What are you 

176 



REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES 

determined to have ?" This last message from God to me 
(for such it surely was) coming in connection with the 
one above recorded, profoundly stirred my soul. I saw 
that I was "consenting" to wear the yoke of sickness which 
Satan had laid upon me, by not rising with all my might 
to meet the will of God which was deliverance in Christ 
Jesus. A kind of indignation seized me that I should 
thus continue bound and fettered and under the enemy's 
heel, and a determination that by the grace of God I would 
then and there be free. The friends came to my room as 
requested, and I read to them the precious words which 
had just been given to me. Together we knelt and with a 
holy boldness I once more asserted my redemption rights 
("ought not this woman whom Satan hath bound," etc.) 
and pointing the enemy and all his hosts to the blood 
which redeemed me from all his power on Calvary's cross, 
I shouted my deliverance at the top of my voice, at the 
same time rebuking and commanding him to depart in 
the name of Jesus in no uncertain tones, and every moment 
my faith increased and rose to meet God's "good, perfect 
and acceptable wnll" for me until I could say that I would 
take nothing short of it, and that it was accomplished in 
my body at that very moment. The next day I returned 
to my home without fear though the thermometer regis- 
tered below zero, and there had been such a severe storm 
that even those in the most rugged health would not think 
of traveling if it could possibly be avoided. 

Reaching home in saf et}^ I had no sooner retired for the 
night, than every one of the evil symptoms returned ! Not 
at all dismayed I continued to declare my liberty, and in 
about five minutes they had all disappeared. Although 
during this illness, I had often been relieved of pain 

177 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

through the kind ministries of faithful friends, and much 
benefitted by their prayers, yet the victory was not won 
until I was enabled, through the precious truth revealed, 
directly to my heart by God Himself, to rise to face the foe 
and fight the battle through. Dear reader, "be not unwise 
but understanding what the will of the Lord is." (Eph. 
5:17.) As I look back over these varied experiences, I 
marvel at the different phases of truth presented to my 
mind on these various occasions, and can but glorify God 
for them all. Once it was the blood of Jesus presented to 
the Father as my only plea for healing; once it was His 
risen and glorified body of which I was shown that I was 
a part; again it was the will of God with which I must 
coincide. "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall 
make you free." 

"I worship thee, sweet will of God, 
And all thy ways adore, 
And every day I live, I seem 
To love thee more and more. 

And He hath breathed into my soul 

A special love of thee; 
A love to lose my will in His, 

And by that loss be free." 



178 



XV. 
THE DEATH OF SELF. 




ANY precious blessings have come into my 
life in Peniel Home, but for none will I 
have greater reason to praise my God than 
for the experience which I am about to 
relate. Never can I cease to glorify Him 
for sending to this city a dear sister Evan- 
gelist from England, who did indeed bring 
with her such a flood of light upon certain 
portions of the Word as no other teacher had hitherto 
done. I had believed, as the majority of teachers upon 
full salvation do, that self is only conquered by our daily 
dying to it, and I had heard so much of the "daily dying" 
theory taught by really spiritual people, that I fear I had 
accepted it without first prayerfully searching the Word 
for myself, to see if it was scriptural. Like all of the 
children of God who desire to lead a holy life, I was much 
distressed if ever the least appearance of "self" was mani- 
fested either openly or inwardly in my life, and did indeed 
feel that it was a hateful thing in God's eyes, as such it 
was becoming more and more in my own ; and I had about 
settled down with the belief that the daily dying to sin 
and "self" was such a subtle thing that it must be care- 
fully watched and prayed over day by day. One day the 
sister of whom I speak said to me very quietly, "God says, 
'Ye are dead' " pointing to Col. 3 :3, and added, "It is a 
fact, it is a fact." In an instant the Holy Spirit (in whom 
she most absolutely trusts to illuminate the Word as she 
gives it forth) flashed glorious light upon the passage, and 



179 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

I saw that the believer is as truly dead to "self" — that 
hideous monster — as he is to his transgressions, his inbred 
sin and his sicknesses through the finished work of Christ. 
I saw that it was not a figure of speech, as I had supposed, 
but an accomplished fact long ago upon Calvary's cross, 
and that I must believe it because God says so, apart from 
feelings or emotion of any kind. I saw that when Jesus 
went to the cross He took me, myself, there and nailed me 
there, spirit, soul and body, with Him. I saw, as never 
before, what the nature was which He took upon Him, as 
we read : "He took not on Him the nature of angels, but 
He took on Hini the seed of Abraham" ( Heb.2 : 16) . I saw 
by the illumination of the Holy Ghost as clearly as the 
noon-day that my depraved, fallen, carnal nature (the self- 
life) and yours, dear reader, positively expired there just 
as truly as Jesus did ; that when God says, "Ye are dead," 
He certainly means your very self, the wretched "I" 
which has been your worst enemy, your most subtle foe; 
simply because you would not believe that plain statement 
in God's Word that you are dead. He does not say that 
by constant prayer and watchfulness you may become so, 
by "daily" dying, but He does most emphatically say that 
you are actually and forever dead! Oh, what a narrow 
conception we have of the finished work of Christ ! Could 
it be a finished work if it had left me with the same carnal 
nature with which I was born? And what is the carnal 
nature if it is not "self" ? Oh, pause a moment and think 
how the spotless One, the Holy Son of God, stooped to 
make Himself "of no reputation," and was made of a 
woman (fallen like ourselves), made under the law, and 
went to Calvary an accursed thing, that He might redeem 
us from all the curse which fell upon the entire man, 

180 



THE DEATH OF SELF 

spirit, soul and body, when Adam went down, and which 
was transferred to our Jesus, our Surety, the innocent 
Lamb of God! Yes, "He was made a curse" (Gal. 3 :13) 
that He might redeem us from every vestige of that old 
accursed self, the fleshly nature, ''the old man." 

But what next ? Blessed be God, He was not left upon 
the cross, but was buried in the grave, and I was actually 
buried with Him, and oh, what a source of satisfaction to 
know that I, that detestable "I" never came up again! 
Ah, no; it was not the "old man" who came up when 
Jesus arose from that grave in which He was held a pris- 
oner for me, but the new "I" the new, absolutely new 
creature, or "creation" as the margin renders it. "If any 
man be in Christ, he is a new creation; old things are 
passed away; behold! all things are become new." (2 
Cor. 5:17.) The "old man" was left in the grave, and 
out of his ashes came up the pure, clean, "new man, which 
after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." 
(Eph. 4:24.) A new creation indeed! 

As this magnificent truth broke upon me, a strange sen- 
sation came upon me, difficult to describe, as if I were 
then and there separated from myself, from something 
which has been as burdensome at times as "the body of 
death" mentioned in Rom. 7 :24, from which the "wretched 
man" cries out in anguish to be set free. Perhaps some 
may not know that it was an ancient custom to punish a 
murderer by compelling him to go about with the corpse 
of the one whom he had killed fastened to his back. And 
to this loathsome, decaying thing Paul compares "the old 
man," the carnal nature, which, in Rom. 6:6 he triumph- 
antly declares is ''destroyed," not kept under, nor dying 
daily, but "crucified." In verse 10 of the same chapter 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

we read, "For in that He died He died unto sin once." 
(Greek, "once for all.") That is. He died unto our old 
fallen nature, and we died with Him, and in verse 9 we 
are told that "He dieth no more," therefore neither do we ! 
Accordingly we are commanded in verse 11 to reckon our- 
selves also dead indeed (actually) unto sin, but alive unto 
God through Jesus Christ our Lord, and thus to yield our- 
selves unto Him, as those that are alive from the dead, 
(v. 13.) Every whit alive, "even as He." Praise His 
name forever ! "If ye then be risen with Christ (and, if a 
believer, you are) seek those things which are above where 
Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. For ye are dead, 
and your life (your new, risen life) is hid with Christ in 
God." (Col. 3:2-3). Happy place! So secure, so peace- 
ful, so victorious! For has He not risen far above all 
principality and power and might and dominion? (Eph. 
1 : 21.) And has He not assured us that God has not only 
"raised us up together" but that He has "made us sit to- 
gether in heavenly places (or the heavenlies) in Christ 
Jesus ?" Now a word with regard to the reckoning which 
God commands us to do. I am sometimes amazed to hear 
Christians say, "I said so and so only by faith." This does 
betray great ignorance of the nature of faith, and Satan 
would be only too rejoiced to keep us in such ignorance 
throughout our lives. But, beloved, faith is not a flimsy 
cobweb. What we really say we claim by faith we actu- 
ally have; and so when we are told to "reckon ourselves 
dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God" it is the reckon- 
ing of faith, and when we reckon self dead and we in the 
new creation hid sweetly and forever away with Christ in 
God, it is also the reckoning of faith which rests upon His 
eternal, unchangeable Word, and, like Him, "calleth those 

182 



THE DEATH OF SELF 

things which be not (seemingly) as though they were." 
And does God call anything true which is not true ? No, a 
thousand times no ! And when He makes to me this un- 
speakably glorious declaration that I am a new creation 
(because I am born from above) and that all the old things 
pertaining to my past life are positively passed away and 
I, myself, the old "I" with them, do I take an unsafe posi- 
tion — as some assert — because I "reckon" it to be so? 
Nay, rather, I glorify God as Abraham did, for "he stag- 
gered not through unbelief, but was strong in faith giving 
glory to God." 

"Let us reckon, reckon, reckon. 
Let us reckon rather than feel, 
Let us be true to the reckoning 
And He will make it real." 

A friend came in one day, and with a heart filled with 
praise, I told her the good news that she was dead, and 
her life was now "hid with Christ in God." "Oh!" she 
exclaimed, smiling through her tears, "Can it be possible ? 
It is too good to be true. Won't self come to life again 
every few days ?" And when assured that this was impos- 
sible as long as she continued to "believe the record," she 
laughed aloud and clapped her hands for joy, saying: 
"Why, I am attending my own funeral." Now with re- 
gard to this important question which at once arises in 
every mind as soon as the death of self is presented, viz : 
"Will it not rise and trouble us again ?" Satan will surely 
do his best to drive us from our strong position, and will 
tempt us with the same old feelings over and over again, 
trying to make us doubt God's Word, which assures us 
that we are dead. He will try to make God out a liar, as 

183 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

he did in Eve's case, and has been doing ever since. But 
instantly declare more firmly that you are dead, and that 
Christ alone liveth within. Tell him those feelings belong 
to that old buried corpse (as they certainly do) and have 
no part whatever in the new man which has risen and 
ascended with Christ. O dear, struggling, honest soul, is 
it not a relief to know that you may, after believing this 
glorious truth, put all those old, troublesome things over 
on Satan, where they belong, and from whom they 
emanate? Is it not blessed to know that they positively 
do now come from the foe without, and may be regarded 
as his lying tricks ? Maintain the position of a risen one 
by simple faith, and complete victory is yours day by day. 
Is not this knowledge sufficient to fill our mouths with His 
praises all the day long? So many dear ones have been 
discouraged when tempted with the old feelings of anger, 
pride, impatience, etc., etc., and have said wearily : "Ah ! 
it is evident I am not dead yet." But beware of even 
thinking that, and never let Satan hear you say it. Every 
thing hinges on your steadfastly believing God's word, and 
as you continue believing, so it will be unto you, every 
step of the way. Refuse to recognize the unholy tempers 
as being still within you, and praise God even when the 
fiery darts are flying all about you that you are "more than 
conqueror," as He assures you in His Word. Thus "resist 
the devil" by crying, "It is written," even as our Savior 
did, "and He will flee from you" (Jas. 4:7). You may 
"suffer, being tempted," as He did, but the victory will be 
all the sweeter, and God will be glorified. 

Then, too, with regard to our physical life we see here 
the very core of the precious truth of Divine health or the 
risen Christ for the body. How different this supernatural 

184 



THE DEATH OF SELF 

life is from a patching up or healing of our body ! It is 
something infinitely higher and more enduring. It is the 
"new man" indwelt by the Triune God! Hallelujah! If, 
after accepting the fact of your death and resurrection 
with Christ, you are tempted with symptoms of disease, 
pursue the same course as in the matter of sin, i. e., refuse 
to "give place to the devil," as God commands. (Eph. 4: 
27.) And continue to praise Him that you are a new 
creature in Christ Jesus, and that your sicknesses having 
been nailed to His cross, have no longer any part in you 
who have been redeemed by His blood. In many cases 
sickness is purely a manifestation of the self-life in the one 
afflicted; the result of an unsurrendered will, a disobedi- 
ent walk, a hard and unforgiving spirit, or a lack of rest- 
ful abiding in Christ. While we "cease from our own 
works" and let God work, think, pray, teach and walk in 
us, we are kept fresh and free from exhaustion of body 
or mind. His "yoke is easy" and His "burden is light;" 
but as soon as self-effort begins, it is always accompanied 
by anxious care, which soon tells fearfully upon the ner- 
vous system. How delightful, then, to be able to say with 
Paul: "I am (R. V. have been) crucified with Christ, 
nevertheless I live; yet not I (not the old man, the carnal 
nature) but Christ liveth in me, and the life which I now 
live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who 
loved me, and gave Himself for me." (Gal. 2:20.) No 
longer our own faith, even, but the faith which the Holy 
Spirit brings in, and which is a part of His fruit. (Gal. 5 : 
22.) It was a source of great satisfaction to read in a 
recent article by F. B. Meyer these words : "The grave of 
Jesus has been provided for the self-life, and in union 
with the risen Jesus we can live the resurrection life. 

185 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Everything that emanates from self is under the curse of 
God, however pure it may seem." Just here let me pass 
on to you the message given me one morning as I bowed 
before God in the early morning watch, asking for some- 
thing bright and fresh from the Word. The Holy Spirit 
whispered distinctly, "Ecclesiastes 3." Wondering much 
what it could be, I turned to the chapter, and my eye fell 
upon these words, "Whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for- 
ever, nothing can be put to it ; nor anything taken from it ; 
and God doeth it that men should fear before Him." How 
beautifully that leads us to the cross, and to the finished 
work of Christ once for all ! Self forever slain ! Later on 
my attention was called to Isa. 26:13, 14, "O Lord our 
God, other lords beside Thee have had dominion over us ; 
they are dead, they shall not live ; they are deceased ; they 
shall not rise. Thou hast visited and destroyed them and 
made all their memory to perish !" Blessed assurance in- 
deed ! Self so extinct that the memory of it has perished. 
Glory be to God our Father forever for planning such a 
scheme of redemption, and may Jesus our Savior be for- 
ever adored for offering Himself so willingly to be the 
channel through which that plan should be carried out, 
and glory be to the Holy Ghost for coming to abide in the 
redeemed and purified temple (our whole being) and there 
to make real in us the death and resurrection of Christ! 
For, beloved reader, it is of no use for you to assent to 
the truth that you are dead and risen unless you definitely 
then receive the Holy Ghost, the Spirit of God the Father, 
"whom (said Jesus) I will send to you from the Father," 
to come and fill the new man with His presence, and en- 
tirely possess the house. He can do this when the old 
usurper "self" is cast out, never to return. He will then 

186 



THE DEATH OF SELF 

place Jesus on the throne within you, for there will be no 
rival there to dispute His sway any more, and ''He will 
make the place of His feet glorious," and will shine forth 
in His beauty through you wherever you go. Then what- 
soever you do "will prosper" (Ps. 1:3), because it will 
really be God doing, and getting glory unto Himself 
through His Son Jesus Christ, and through the Holy 
Ghost. O, my Father, may Thy Spirit illuminate all who 
shall read these lines for the glory of Thy Name ! 

"Dead to fashion, lust and pride. 
Dead ! with my Jesus crucified ; 
Dead to the vain world's praise or blame, 
And glorying only in Christ's name ; 

Dead to every plan of mine — 
I take the leading all divine; 
Dead to earthly gain or loss — 
Henceforth for Christ I bear the cross; 

Dead to self-life and inbred sin — 

My Savior reigns supreme within; 

Safe in the highway travelling on, 

To dwell where my great Captain's gone. 

My soul mounts up on wings sublime 
Beyond the boundaries of time ; 
Travelling the way my Savior trod — 
Dead ! and my life is hid in God." 



187 




XVI. 

THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM. 

'Behold the Bridegroom cometh! Go ye to meet Him." 
(Matt. 25:6.) 

S I recall the two years spent in the 
humble cottage on North Division street it 
fills my heart with praise to realize how 
much of God's Word, while there, was 
opened to my understanding. Among other 
things I was led to examine the subject of 
the second coming of Christ. Various 
tracts and leaflets regarding it had been 
sent to me from time to time but I had always laid them 
aside, not on account of any prejudice on the subject (as 
is the case with far too many) but from lack of time and 
opportunity to give it such careful consideration as it de- 
manded before accepting either post or pre-millennial 
views. When such opportunity was given I sat down with 
the book entitled "Jesus is Coming," by William E. Black- 
stone, and first of all examined the chart or diagram which 
it contains, then with Bible in hand looked up every ref- 
erence in the entire book from beginning to end. It is a 
book which can only be profitably read in that way. The 
result was that I was entirely convinced of the truth of 
the personal and pre-millennial coming of Christ and I 
cannot see how it is possible for any unbiased mind open 
to the teaching of the Holy Spirit, to carefully and prayer- 
fully search the Scriptures in the manner mentioned above 
without coming to the same conclusion. Surely language 
could not te plainer than the following: — "This same 



188 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

Jesus which is taken up from you into heaven shall also 
come in like manner as ye have seen Him go into heaven." 
(Acts 1:11.) How did He go? 

No believer will deny that He ascended with the same 
body which was taken down from the cross, bearing the 
same blessed nail prints in hands and feet and marks of 
the spear in wounded side. "A spirit hath not flesh and 
bones as ye see Me have." (Lu. 24:39, Jo. 20:27.) And 
as to the objection that He has already come by the Holy 
Spirit on the day of Pentecost, can any Bible student 
point to a single passage where when speaking of the Holy 
Spirit, Jesus said "I"? "And if I go away I will come 
again and receive you unto Myself." (Jo. 14:2.) When 
referring to the third person of the Trinity He invariably 
designated Him as the "Comforter," "Spirit of truth," 
"Holy Ghost," etc., giving Him, as these objectors fail to 
do, the honor and recognition due unto Him as a distinct 
personality. Then, too, with regard to the teaching that 
the world will be converted before Jesus comes, His own 
words teach us precisely the reverse. The picture of the 
condition of the world at the time of His coming could 
not be blacker than it is, "As it was in the days of Noah, 
so shall it be also in the days of the Son of Man. They 
did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given 
in marriage until the day that Noah entered into the ark, 
and the flood came and destroyed them all. Likewise also 
as it was in the days of Lot, even thus shall it be in the day 
when the Son of Man is revealed." (Lu. 17:26-30.) If 
at His coming He is to find the world saved, these are 
indeed strange illustrations for our Lord to use to con- 
vince us of that fact. It is needless to add that these pas- 
sages point to the terrible judgments of God rather than 

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FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

His salvation. But it is not my purpose to strive to prove 
the truth of this doctrine at this time, space forbids. I 
would urge my readers to search the Scriptures regarding 
it for themselves with the aid of Mr. Blackstone's book or 
something equally helpful, and having once apprehended 
the truth of the pre-millennial coming of Christ, and its 
imminence, to commence to live in the light of it day by 
day. But I wish to view it now from the aspect of its 
practical bearing upon our lives. Let us consider for a 
time the mystical union between the church and her Lord, 
the heart preparation needful to become the Bride of 
Christ, for such the church is called in the Word of God. 
In Malachi 3 :2 we read : "But who may abide the day of 
His coming? And who shall stand when He appeareth? 
For He is like a refiner's fire and like fuller's sope." John 
the Revelator saw Him "with eyes as a flame of fire" and 
heard Him say : "I am He which searcheth the heart and 
trieth the reins and I will give unto every one of you ac- 
cording unto your works." 

These burning searching eyes of Jesus are the fire which 
will test your works and mine, dear believer, at His judg- 
ment seat "in the air," for at this judgment seat only be- 
lievers will appear to be judged, not for their sins, already 
judged upon the cross and nailed there, but for their ser- 
vice. In 2 Cor. 3 :12-15 we read : "Now if any man build 
upon this foundation (Christ) gold, silver, precious stones, 
wood, hay, stubble ; every man's work shall be made mani- 
fest ; for the day shall declare it because it shall be revealed 
by fire ; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort 
it is. If any man's work abide which he hath built there- 
upon, he shall receive a reward. If any man's work shall 
be burned, he shall suffer loss; but he himself shall be 

190 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

saved yet so as by fire," i. e. barely. We see here that it is 
not so much the amount of work which we do for Christ 
as the quality of it. In other words it is a matter of mo- 
tives. Only the works wrought under the direction of the 
Holy Spirit and springing from the one motiye which 
alone animates the sanctified heart, the glory of God, will 
prove indestructible, will stand the fire of His inspection 
and receive "a full reward." (2 Jo. 8.) Beloved, can 
you abide that day and "stand when He appeareth?" I 
believe that only the Bride will receive a full reward and 
occupy the throne with Christ. By this I mean that from 
the passages describing the character of the Bride it seems 
to me that she will be composed of the inner circle within 
the church made up of the sanctified ones who will be 
found when He comes not only cleansed from all unright- 
eousness" (1 Jo. 1 : 9) but "filled (Greek 'to the overflow') 
with the Spirit." (Eph. 5:18.) My experience has been, 
as I have gone about in evangelistic work, that there are 
little groups here and there in all the churches who are 
really hungering after full salvation, who have never yet 
received the Spirit in sanctifying power but who could 
easily be led out into the sweet rest of faith, the "Beulah 
land" of love. But alas ! with many of these dear unsatis- 
fied ones the same miserable experience of sinning and 
repenting must continue on till the end of life for lack of 
a hand to help them into that land in which there is "no 
scarceness." 

An earnest Christian sister attended a meeting which I 
was conducting in which the sweet union of the Bride and 
the Bridegroom was explained from the Scriptures and all 
were exhorted to enter that blessed life. She listened in 
astonishment and rising to testify said: "I want all that 

191 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

God has for me, and if there is such an experience as we 
have heard of here to-day I desire it. I have never heard 
it mentioned before." And yet she had been for many 
years a Christian and a regular attendant of church ser- 
vices. She is only one of many, perhaps hundreds, of 
similar cases. The promise is, "Blessed are they that 
hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be 
filled" and undoubtedly there are many such hungry ones 
who are, and perhaps have long been seeking the fulness 
of the Spirit who do not understand the steps necessary 
to be taken on their part in order to receive the promise 
and it may be are under the preaching of a pastor who is 
no farther on in the Divine life than themselves. In Eph. 
5 : 25-27 we read that "Christ loved the Church and gave 
Himself for it ; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with 
the washing of water by the Word, that He might present 
it to Himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle 
or any such thing ; but that it should be holy and without 
blemish." Here we see that for this very purpose Jesus 
Christ suffered and died that He might purchase unto 
Himself a spotless Bride. Surely then He will not turn 
the weakest one away who comes to Him longing to be 
cleansed from all sin and set free from its power. ( 1 Jo. 
3 :3.) "And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth 
himself even as He is pure." That is, every one that hopes 
to be "like Him" when He appears, (as the previous 
verse shows) comes to the blood for cleansing that he 
may be made pure even as Jesus is pure. Dear reader, 
will you tell me when you think this work of purification 
can be wrought ? Probably some will say, "in the hour of 
death." Very true, it may be so. But if possible one hour 

192 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

or one moment, even, before death, why not this hour or 
this moment? Can you answer that question? 

If you admit that there is power in the blood of Jesus to 
cleanse from all sin, (1 Jo. 1 : 7) oh! is it not worth for- 
saking every earthly possession and every earthly friend, 
if need be, to have the inner consciousness of that blessed 
cleansing now? Only thus can you be fitted for His ser- 
vice in this life, for in 2 Ti. 2 :21 we read . . "sanctified 
and meet for the Master's use and prepared unto every 
good work." Only thus can you be able to meet Him 
with "confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His 
coming," and I believe only thus can you be fitted to be- 
come His Bride. Again in Rev. 19:7-8 we read of the 
spotlessness of the character of the Bride. "Let us be 
glad and rejoice and give honor to Him; for the marriage 
of the Lamb is come and His wife hath made herself 
ready. And to her was granted that she should be ar- 
rayed in fine linen clean and white: (margin, bright) for 
the fine linen is the righteousness of saints." In connec- 
tion with this, compare 1 Jo. 3 : 7, "Little children, let no 
man deceive you ; he that doeth righteousness is righteous 
even as He (Christ) is righteous." Notice that to the 
Bride is "granted" to be thus arrayed. My heart over- 
flowed with praise when my attention was first called to 
the blessed significance of that word "granted." Our 
sanctification is "not of works, lest any man should boast." 
(Eph. 2:9.) It is wholly the work of God, wrought in 
us by His wonderful grace as we in our utter helplessness 
and nothingness yield ourselves unto Him "as those that 
are alive from the dead," dedicating all our ransomed 
powers unto Him and His service forever and by faith re- 
ceiving Him as our Saviour from inbred sin, taking the 

193 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

full deliverance as a free gift which He has purchased for 
us on Calvary's cross. Thus He becomes in us what He 
was there ''made of God unto us; wisdom, righteousness, 
sanctiiication and redemption." 

The fine linen mentioned in the text quoted above is 
typical of heart purity ; but the marginal rendering seems 
to convey the correct idea, viz : clean and bright, or as one 
translator gives it, "bright and pure," that is, brilliant or 
radiant, like the garments of Jesus on the Mount of Trans- 
figuration. How beautifully this compares with the pas- 
sage already mentioned: "A glorious church without 
spot or wrinkle or any such thing!" Yes, beloved, when 
the "King of glory" comes in and takes full possession of 
your heart, the glory life, the heavenly life begins within 
you and soon sends forth its beams on all around. Will 
you thus make yourself "ready" to become His own dear 
Bride by entire separation from the world and a worldly 
church and by receiving Him as the Lover and Bride- 
groom of your soul? The Bride of Christ is easily dis- 
cerned by those who have eyes to see. She is composed 
of the separated, sanctified and Spirit-filled ones who are 
one with Him in thought, purpose and life, who, like Paul, 
have "suffered the loss of all things" for His dear sake, 
who have "gone forth unto Him without the camp bear- 
ing His reproach," who share His cup here and will reign 
with Him in His coming kingdom. Our Lord put the 
searching question to his disciples, "Are ye able to drink 
of the cup that I drink of?" And they rashly replied, "We 
are able," but not until after Pentecost did they prove 
themselves willing and able to drink of that cup and to be 
baptized with His baptism of suffering. In Phil. 1 :29 we 
read: "Unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not 

194 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

only to believe on Him but also to suffer for His sake." 
Paul prayed that He might know the fellowship of His 
sufferings, and Moses deliberately chose the path of suf- 
fering with the people of God rather than enjoy the pleas- 
ures of sin for a season. The Bride of Christ is as 
separated from the world as her Lord. Listen to these 
words addressed to the Father in that matchless prayer 
before His betrayal : (Jo. 17 :14) 'T have given them Thy 
Word; and the world hath hated them because they are 
not of the world even as I am not of the world." Oh ! 
dear friend, can He say that of you? 

How often my heart is made heavy as I look about me 
and see how the professing church has locked arms with 
the world and how unlike she is to the church which Jesus 
planted and for which the apostles toiled and suffered and 
died! Should we not follow them as they followed 
Christ? Can we conceive of any higher ideal than the 
early church? Separated, sanctified and Spirit-filled, she 
went forth to battle for the Lord, "fair as the moon, clear 
as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners." Her 
dependence was upon God alone for support, both spiritu- 
ally and financially. The Holy Spirit was the magnet 
which drew men irresistibly to her altars, and there was 
never a thought of resorting to man-made schemes and 
worldly devices in order to attract or to retain her mem- 
bership. For a few years after my own conversion I 
went forward willingly and assisted both with hands and 
purse in the fairs, bazaars, suppers, etc., which the church 
was engaged in, supposing it to be a necessary part of the 
church work but I was soon shown "a more excellent 
way" and therefore felt that God would have me withdraw 
from every thing of the kind and strive to show the people 

195 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

through the Scriptures His own plan for carrying on His 
work, viz : through the loving, self-sacrificing gifts of His 
own dear children. I do not wish to sit in judgment upon 
the many dear Christian people who do not as yet see 
differently and continue to engage in these methods of 
work from an honest purpose, for I was once quite as 
conscientious in doing so myself but quickly took a Scrip- 
tural position as soon as I discovered my error. I can 
only faithfully use voice and pen against all worldly 
methods devised by the church to gain money, and pray 
God to open the eyes of both pastors and people to see 
how "the spirit of the world" is pouring into the church 
as a result of this most undignified and unscriptural way 
of carrying on the work of Christ. 

Beloved, the Bride is not found thus engaged, neither 
can she wink at these things and keep silence. Never! 
There is too much at stake. The fairs, festivals, donkey 
shows, grab bags, broom drills, amateur theatricals, etc., 
arranged by the church to earn money to carry on the 
work are stepping stones to the ball room., the gambling 
table, the theatre, in fact all that goes to make up the life 
of a man and woman of the world. And surely nothing 
could be plainer than 1 Jo. 2:15 where we read: "Love 
not the world neither the things that are in the world ; if 
any man love the world the love of the Father is not in 
him." If the pastors of the churches would take a stand 
against these modern innovations and by earnest, personal 
effort with their flock would lead them into a wholly con- 
secrated life, the gold and the silver which belong to Jesus 
would soon be laid at His feet and there would be no 
indebtedness, every need would be met by the blessed 
Lord Himself who is abundantly able to take care of any 

196 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

work which is really placed in His hands to manage, and 
left there. And as to the amusements of the world which 
many professing Christians are running after, it is evi- 
dent that they have never really found Christ, for He is 
indeed a satisfying portion to those who know Him. 
Where is the man who has known His saving power and 
the sweetness of His love who can not sing 

"Since my eyes were fixed on Jesus 

I've lost sight of all beside, 
So enchained my spirit's vision 
Looking at the Crucified." 

Moses "esteemed the reproach of Christ greater riches 
than the treasures in Egypt." 

The Bride of Christ will not, can not be conformed 
to this world either in the inn»er or outer life. While there 
is nothing in a certain form of dress which sanctifies, yet 
as we walk on in the light we will surely be shown that 
God would have us manifest by a plain and simple attire 
that the fashions of the world no longer enslave us as in 
the past. And just here I would pause to relate a little of 
my own experience. Naturally fond of rich and elegant 
dress, I had, of course, at the time of my conversion a 
costly wardrobe and a great deal of very beautiful jewelry. 
A few weeks after my emancipation from the bondage of 
the world, when dressing one afternoon to go out, while in 
the act of putting on the various pieces of jewelry with 
which I had daily been decorated, I was startled and 
amazed by hearing a voice as if just beside me saying: 
"Put on rather the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit 
which is in the sight of God of great price." (1 Pe. 3 :4.) 
Like Samuel I had not as yet learned to know the voice 

197 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

of God, so wondering much at what it could mean I went 
on my way. But the next day while dressing, the words 
were repeated, and I could no longer mistake them, but 
feeling sure that God was speaking I laid down the ear 
rings which I was about to put in my ears, and one by one 
all the rest of my jewels, never to be worn again. ''Oh!" 
I cried, "dear Lord, do put upon me that lovely, priceless 
ornament of a meek and quiet spirit! It is more to be 
desired than all earth's glittering gems. I can never, 
never again consent to wear any other." The question 
arose as to how I could leave off all of my rings and every 
other ornament without attracting the attention of my 
family and perhaps creating much disturbance, especially 
as they were the gifts of my father and sisters and were 
very valuable. But leaving it all with God I went for- 
ward and soon disposed of them all and put the money 
into the work of the Lord. 

Later on I was shown that He would have me adopt a 
still plainer style of dress but not until brought under very 
deep conviction regarding it did I summon courage to 
obey. I had already greatly modified my manner of dress 
and there was such marked contrast to my former life in 
this respect that I had supposed that nothing more would 
be required. And yet there was always more or less per- 
plexity as to how much trimming I should put on a dress 
or hat and how much money I could consistently spend in 
that way, so that there was an undercurrent of unrest in 
my spirit. Finally it was shown to me that I could not 
truthfully say that my pocket book was on the altar and 
that I was leading a life of self-denial while yards of need- 
less trimming were purchased for every dress and also 
considerable expense upon hats and gloves which might 

198 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

be avoided and thus the work of God advanced. Aside 
from the appearance of conformity to the world (which I 
had indeed in my spirit forsaken) the matter of the use of 
the means entrusted to my care I felt to be a very serious 
one. After much prayer I decided to leave off all need- 
less trimmings and adopt the plain dress. Satan sug- 
gested : "But you are going too far now. You will now 
completely alienate your family and lose what little influ- 
ence you have already gained. They will be ashamed of 
you, and will surely feel that you are fanatical." Rec- 
ognizing this voice I sat down at once and wrote to my 
two dear sisters of the step which I had taken, adding that 
I trusted they would not love me any the less on account 
of my desire to walk on with my Savior wherever He 
might lead. My tears fell upon the page as I wrote, but 
the letters were mailed and followed by the prayer that, 
if it were possible, God would prevent any estrangement 
arising between my much-loved sisters and myself. How 
beautifully He managed it all for me! Whatever they 
may have felt, they were never permitted to mention the 
subject to me in any critical or unkind way. Oh, how 
these frightful lions which we see on ahead of us obstruct- 
ing our path, are invariably chained by the time that we 
reach them as we walk forward in the blessed light of 
God ! Praise His Name ! He does so kindly temper the 
wind for His little trembling ones as they promptly obey 
His voice. 

The following Sunday I went to church for the first 
time in my new attire, and, as I had been appointed class- 
leader by the pastor, remained after service, as usual, to 
conduct the class which numbered sixty or seventy people. 
As I stepped forward to take my place before them, for a 

199 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

few moments I was made to feel the pressure of the cross 
as I beheld my pastor scanning me critically from head to 
foot with a look of mingled amazement, disappointment 
and chagrin which expressed, far more than any words 
could have done, his displeasure. Up to this time we had 
worked together in perfect harmony and fellowship and it 
was a grief to feel that I could not here meet his approval, 
but my spirit quickly soared above it all and lifting my 
eyes to my Father's face I was enabled to speak with 
unusual unction and His own heavenly peace rested upon 
me. Having laid aside the "weights" which had hitherto 
somewhat hindered my progress, I could then run the race 
set before me with a blessed liberty never known before. 
"Let us lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so 
easily beset us and let us run with patience the race which 
is set before us looking unto Jesus the Author and 
Finisher of our faith; who, for the joy that was set be- 
fore Him, endured the cross, despising the shame and is 
set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Heb. 
12:1-2). I have never had any reason to regret this step, 
but on the contrary have been increasingly convinced of 
the wisdom of it as the years have gone by. I have yet to 
hear of one woman, really filled with the Holy Ghost and 
much used of God, who has not at some point in her life 
been brought to face this question of personal adornment 
and to lay off the trappings of the world, in order, like 
Caleb, that she might "wholly follow the Lord," and show 
forth the beauty of holiness. 

"When I survey the wondrous cross 

On which the Prince of Glory died, 
My richest gain I count but loss 

And pour contempt on all my pride." 

200 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

Yes, dear reader, the Bride of Jesus is arrayed in robes 
more glorious than those of Solomon, more spotless than 
the driven snow. But few seem willing thus to "follow 
on to know the Lord." But oh! faltering one who may 
read these lines, hear the word of the Lord. In the Song 
of Solomon, that most exquisite dialogue between Christ 
and His Bride, fitly called the "Song of Songs," we hear 
Him say : "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. 
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the 
flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of 
birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our 
land ; the fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the 
vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my 
love, my fair one, and come away." (Song 2 : 10-13.) Can 
you, oh! can you resist that appeal? It is the Bride- 
groom's call to the marriage altar. Behold your crucified 
and risen Lord holding out His nail-pierced hand to you, 
and, with ineflfable love and sweetness beaming in His 
eyes, asking you to place your hand in His and yield 3^our- 
self in loving surrender to become His own chosen Bride, 
sealed by His kiss of pardon and acceptance and separated 
forever unto Him alone ! 

If your experience has been ofttimes wintry and barren 
and fruitless, distracted with doubts and fears, dis- 
couraged because of lukewarmness and frequent heart 
wanderings, perhaps cA^en on account of actual lapses into 
sin, oh! hearken now to this gracious call of Jesus, the 
Lover of your soul and let Him from this time forth oc- 
cupy the very throne of your heart. Then in perfect union 
with Him you will be ushered into the glorious spring- 
time here described, even the resurrection life of Christ. 
The "flowers" represent the perfume and sweetness of His 

201 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

indwelling presence ; the singing birds the exultant joy of 
the Holy Ghost, His own joy which He brings at His in- 
coming, one of the fruits mentioned in Gal. 5 :22. This 
heavenly singing is beautifully described in Zeph. 3:17, 
"He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with 
singing." Yes, He will indeed sing within you, for when 
you are thus His very own "He shall see of the travail of 
His soul and shall be satisfied." (Is. 53: 11.) Oh! be- 
loved, will you not delight His heart by forsaking all to 
follow Him? Then you can truly say in the outburst 
of praise and joyful assurance with which the Bride re- 
plies to this blessed invitation : "My beloved is mine and 
I am His." Come away, then, at once from the world 
and its allurements, vanity and show, come away from 
sin and self, from every person and thing which could 
draw you from His close embrace and from real heart 
communion with Him. Out of your winter into perpetual 
springtime, out of your dryness into His freshness, out 
of your barrenness into His fruitfulness, out of your 
restlessness into His peace. Come away, dear child of 
God, come away! 

Surely if His coming is to be as sudden as the light- 
ning, as we are told, there will be no time then to obtain 
the readiness mentioned above. For "in a moment, in the 
twinkling of an eye ... we shall be changed" if upon 
the earth when He comes and quickly soar away to meet 
Him in the air and our place in the Kingdom will be in 
accordance with our character and service here. "One 
star differeth from another star in glory, so also in the 
resurrection of the dead." But the question now will 
naturally arise in some mind : What about these believers 
who are not thus sanctified and filled, but are justified by 

202 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

faith in Christ and therefore heirs of eternal life? Will 
they be left behind when He comes and obliged to pass 
through the horrors of the great tribulation which will 
then break forth upon the earth? I think not. While 
there is a diversity of opinion regarding this on the part 
of pre-millennial teachers, it seems to me with what light 
I have gathered on this subject up to the present time, 
that all believers will be taken when He appears in the 
heavens, for we are told that at that time "the dead in 
Christ shall rise first," etc. ; and all believers are in a sense 
"in Christ," but I do not believe that all will occupy the 
Bride's place by any means. There will be the Bride, 
her "attendants," and many guests at the wedding, but, 
as before stated in this chapter many will "suffer loss," 
God alone knows how great, although saved themselves 
"so as by fire." 

"God has His best things for the few 
That dare to stand the test ; 
God has His second choice for those 
Who will not have His best." 

Not long since I had a wondrous dream. I dreamed 
that I with many others had been summoned to the mar- 
riage supper of the Lamb. Before me was a very long 
table stretching away into the distance, I could not see 
the length of it as it seemed enveloped in a mist, but when 
the time came for us to take our seats, lo ! I was given one 
second to the head, which was occupied by the Lord 
Jesus; I knew and felt His glorious Presence though I 
did not in the dream behold His form. One of His little 
humble ones not much known on earth, but whom I had 
taught and loved, sat next to me. I could not distinguish 

203 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

the others. As I took my place I seemed to sink into a 
little speck, as it were, so overwhelmed was I, so com- 
pletely amazed at the wondrous grace of my Lord in 
giving me that place so near His side. I saw upon the 
table dishes just heaped and running over with the most 
luscious fruits, and costly viands of every description 
abounded on every side. And as for my plate it was filled 
again and again until I could only weep for astonishment 
and joy. And every moment waves of glory rolled over 
me mingled with such unspeakable amazement at the grace 
which had called me, the most unworthy, the chief of sin- 
ners, to such an exalted place. Would that I could de- 
scribe in any measure the revelation of "the riches of His 
Grace" which burst upon me as I sat at His banqueting 
table so honored of Him who had poured His life blood 
out for me! I can not, dear reader. My pen refuses, 
language fails. I can only say that I was simply so over- 
powered by His grace that I seemed to be just melting 
away into nothingness, "lost in wonder, love and praise ;" 
every moment getting smaller as His wondrous love 
poured into my being so that I could think of nothing, 
see and feel nothing but just grace, grace, grace! But 
oh ! I knew in that blissful hour that I formed a part of 
the Bride of Christ! I can not tell which overwhelmed 
me most, the matchless grace of God in Christ Jesus or 
my own utter unworthiness of it. This lovely dream I 
can never forget. It was during a time of great trial and 
I believe was given to comfort and cheer me on my way. 
God grant that these few feeble words which I have 
written out of a heart deeply desirous for your spiritual 
advancement, dear reader, may incline you speedily to 
search the Scriptures concerning the all important subject 

204 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

of our Lord's return. For if, as the most careful and 
spiritual Bible students and teachers all over the world 
assert, the signs of the times clearly indicate that His 
coming is very near, "what manner of persons ought we 
to be in all holy conversation and godliness?" With all 
the earnestness of which I am capable I would cry aloud 
to a worldly church to awake and shake herself from the 
dust and put on her beautiful garments for lo ! the Bride- 
groom Cometh! The "dust" of earth has so blinded her 
eyes, dulled her ears and stained her robes that she can 
neither see nor hear spiritual things and has no relish for 
the "strong meat" of the Gospel, and surely it can not be 
said of her that she "hath made herself ready" for the 
marriage supper, that she can "abide the day of His 
coming ... or stand when He appeareth." 

Although it is prophesied that the church at large shall 
become more and more lukewarm as the end of this age 
draws near and "the love of many shall wax cold," yet as 
I have before said — there are those in every church who 
are truly sick at heart of the apostasy all around them, 
who long for something better, for a real Christ, a salva- 
tion which keeps from the power of sin and which satisfies 
the soul ; to such I appeal. What does the thought of the 
sudden appearing of Jesus suggest to your mind? What 
if He were to come to-day ? Would you be glad ? Pause 
and examine your heart ere you reply. Do you "love His 
appearing ?" He is coming for such. Are you watching, 
"lest coming suddenly He find you sleeping?" To those 
who are not watching He will come as a thief. What 
consternation in that hour for those who are left behind ! 
It seems probable that it will be to the translated ones, as 
Hannah Whitall Smith says, like a spiritual elopement. 

205 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Those who are ready and watching will be caught away 
swiftly and silently to meet Him in the air and at that 
time they alone will see Him. But from many a home, 
here and there, loved ones who followed Him while here 
will be missing, to be seen no more until He comes to the 
earth at the end of the tribulation in the most glorious 
procession this world has ever beheld, attended by "ten 
thousand of His saints" and all the holy angels, to set up 
His Millennial Kingdom. Then ''every eye shall see Him 
and they also which pierced Him and all the tribes of the 
earth shall mourn because of Him." In view of these 
tremendous truths ought we not to consecrate the few 
fleeting days which remain to untiring and devoted ser- 
vice, "warning every man and exhorting every man and 
so much the more as ye see the day approaching?" 

When you have finished reading this chapter will you 
go alone before God in your closet and tell Him that you 
wish now to become the Bride of Jesus and ask Him 
for that inner cleansing and filling with His Spirit which 
alone can fit you to glorify Him here and to reign with 
Him in His Kingdom? i\nd will you wait before Him 
day by day with a faith which will take no denial until 
you have the assurance that the work is done? If so, 
this book will not have been written in vain, but the 
writer and reader shall rejoice together as He presents 
us to the Father blameless in that glad day. Have you 
ever really thought of what the joy of Jesus will be when 
He thus presents us? In Jude 24 the words "with ex- 
ceeding joy" are, literally translated, "leaping for joy." 
When the soul has thus yielded to Christ and been brought 
into perfect oneness with Him we read that we shall call 
him no longer Baali, that is "my Lord," but we may call 

206 



THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM 

Him Ishi, that is "my Husband." Precious relationship! 
Wonderful love! Then we do indeed know what it is to 
cast all our care upon Him, for He careth for us. He 
manages all our affairs, lays all the plans for us and for 
our dear ones, meets our every need, provides for, 
nourishes, supports by His almighty arm, defends from 
all evil, wipes away our tears, lets us rest upon His bosom, 
is everything to us that the tenderest husband could be 
and more. But not only is the language of our heart 
greatly changed towards Him, but He also has a new, 
sweet name for us . . . Thy name shall be called 
Hephzibah, that is, my delight is in her. (Is. 62:4.) 
What heavenly comfort do these words bring! We see 
that it is indeed a mutual joy, and that we are as needful 
to the Bridegroom, in a sense, as He is to us. Perhaps 
you may never have seen it so ; you have thought that you 
greatly needed Christ, but have never for a moment 
dreamed that you are quite as needful to Him ! The dear 
Holy Spirit has come into the world to seek a Bride for 
Jesus and He is going everywhere on that blessed errand 
to-day ; far and wide, to the uttermost parts of the earth 
and to all the islands of the sea, He is seeking admission 
to human hearts that He may woo them to forsake all to 
follow Jesus. He is jealous over us with a godly jealousy 
that He may espouse us as a chaste virgin to Christ. He 
continually would hold up Christ in all His loveliness be- 
fore our eyes whispering to us as Abraham's servant did 
to Rebecca : "Wilt thou go with this man ?" Beloved, art 
thou ready now to say "I will go?" (Gen. 24:58.) 

"I've reached the land of Beulah, 
The summer land of love, 

207 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

Land of the Heavenly Bridegroom, 
Land of the Holy Dove; 

My winter has departed, 

My summer time has come, 

The air is full of singing 

The earth is bright with bloom. 

He lets me call Him Husband, 

I have Him always near, 
He carries every burden. 

He comforts every fear; 
He calls me His beloved, 

I lean upon His breast, 
I've reached the land of Beulah, 

The promised land of rest. 

My life is all transfigured 

By the sweet touch of love. 
O'er all around there shineth 

A glory from above; 
The water of earth's pleasures 

Is changed to heavenly wine, 
And life like Cana's wedding 

Becomes a feast divine. 

I've found the fount of healing. 

The spring of life divine. 
It is the love of Jesus, 

It is the marriage wine ; 
I've found the fount of pleasure, 

A cup without alloy. 
It is the love of Jesus, 

It is the Bridegroom's joy." 



208 



XVII. 




NOT A SPARROW FALLETH." 

S I have walked on with God nothing 
has touched my heart more than the dis- 
covery of His care over me and His watch- 
ful eye upon me in the little things of 
every day life, things so tiny that it has 
really overwhelmed me as I have con- 
sidered the amazing condescension of such 
a God as our God, the Lord of Hosts, 
the Creator of the Universe. Some of His dear 
people fail to recognize His hand in these tiny, ap- 
parently insignificant things and thus fail to know Him 
as intimately as they might and miss much of the sweet- 
ness which would otherwise fill their cup. But if, as He 
says, not even a sparrow falleth to the ground without 
His notice, why should He not be interested in every event 
of your life and mine, however small ? On one occasion I 
wanted some white illusion to wear around my neck as I 
had been in the habit of doing for some years, but every 
time I was in a store and felt like purchasing it I would 
think of my missionary box and that I ought to save the 
pennies towards filling it, and so though I really did look 
longingly at the illusion each time I inwardly said "No, I 
will not get it for it really is not necessary," and passed 
out of the store. This occurred at least three different 
times when I was out shopping. Just then a lady friend 
came to the Home and when looking through her trunk 
one day found quite a number of articles which she 
donated to the Home; finally coming to quite a large 



209 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

bundle, she said: "I wonder if you could make any use 
of that ?" Opening it, to my astonishment I unrolled yard 
after yard of illusion, enough certainly to last me for 
several years ! My heart gave a throb of joy, Jesus and 
I knew what it meant. When I told the dear friend about 
it the tears sprang to her eyes. 

At another time I lost an important receipt and searched 
all over the house in vain for it. At last I knelt and said : 
"Dear Holy Spirit, Thou art the Great Detective ; Thine 
eye is upon that receipt, tell me where it is." Instantly a 
quiet voice said : "In your handkerchief box." I hastened 
to my room and lo! there underneath the handkerchiefs, 
lay my receipt ! Then I recalled putting it there for safe 
keeping when in a hurry one day, intending afterward to 
put it with all my other receipts in the box kept for that 
purpose. This incident filled my heart with praise and 
still deeper confidence in my Divine Guide than ever. The 
following incident, though scarcely included under the 
head of little things, will, I trust, serve to strengthen the 
faith of some who have not hitherto realized that the be- 
liever may take "every thing to God in prayer." In the 
summer of 1898 we were for a week visited by very in- 
tense heat in this city, beyond anything that I had ever 
experienced in this locality. 

As the end of the week drew near it really seemed un- 
bearable, and I became much prostrated, the blood rush- 
ing to the head and leaving the extremities cold and 
clammy and nearly powerless. When about sinking, the 
door bell rang and two dear brethren, members of my 
Band, came in evidently sent by God and at once joined in 
earnest prayer for me after which I quickly revived. But 
<'is evening came on there settled down upon us a breath- 

210 



''NOT A SPARROW FALLETH'' 

less sultriness which was quite as trying as the noon day 
sun. To sleep in the stifling rooms of the Home was not 
to be even thought of ; we determined to remain out upon 
the lawn as late as possible, all night if need be, rather 
than enter the house again until compelled to do so. Two 
or three friends had dropped in and we were trying to 
keep our courage up by singing hymns when the thought 
came to me that we could and must unite in prayer that 
God would send us a refreshing breeze and moderate the 
scorching heat at once, not only on our own account, by 
any means, but for the sake of the multitudes of suffering 
ones crowded into the tenement houses of our great city 
as well as the vast army of working men and women 
compelled to labor on though fainting at their work. Ac- 
cordingly we fell down before our God and cried to Him 
that for His mercies' sake He would immediately come 
to the relief of our suffering city. Never have I asked 
any blessing with greater confidence at my Father's hand. 
We had no sooner risen from our knees than I began 
watching for the expected breeze. Up to this time not 
a leaf had stirred, but that very moment there was a very 
perceptible movement among the trees and it rapidly in- 
creased until a strong, refreshing wind was sweeping over 
the city. With thankful hearts we went to our rooms 
and as I lay upon my bed, which had been drawn close 
to the window for many nights with the vain hope of 
catching even a faint breath of air, for hours I was too 
happy and grateful to sleep, but simply lay with closed 
eyes just revelling in the glorious breeze which swept 
over me from head to foot hour after hour. How it fan- 
ned my burning brow and gently cooled the feverish body, 
soothing and quieting me into the most delicious repose 

211 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

that I have ever known ! Gradually and steadily getting 
cooler throughout the night it seemed to my weary frame 
like a veritable elixir held to the lips of some fainting 
traveler in the desert. It was like the purest and sweetest 
mountain breeze and yet not like it; it was heavenly! 
And the blessing to my spirit which accompanied it ! I 
felt like a little babe resting in my Father's arms, lulled 
to sleep upon His breast; it did seem that His own dear 
hand was passing over my brow. Oh, I knew that He 
had heard and answered my cry of distress and how I 
rejoiced, not only for myself, but for others ! 

The following day was Sunday and there was some 
dread in my mind regarding the afternoon meeting as 
the house had not by any means cooled off yet, though 
there was a marked change outside, and when filled with 
people I knew well what it was likely to be. While in 
prayer I asked for something from the Lord with regard 
to the meeting and opened to these words: "Neither 
shall the sun light on them nor any heat!" This sweet 
promise was literally fulfilled to me that day, for the sun 
was not visible the entire day, the breeze of the night in- 
creased to a high wind and by the time the hour arrived 
for the meeting the house was delightfully cool. Surely 
the mercies of our God are "tender mercies" as His Word 
declares. Never can I forget the melting sweetness of 
His love which filled my heart that Sabbath day. I 
learned afterward that the thermometer stood at 102 de- 
grees in the shade the previous day. "Oh that men would 
praise the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful 
works to the children of men!" (Psalm 107:8.) 

Two strangers arrived to spend some time at the Home, 
I had not a cent in my purse and only potatoes and bread 

212 



''NOT A SPARROW FALLETH" 

in the house for dinner. This did not seem a very sump- 
tuous repast to set before my guests and I looked to God 
to see what I should do. Nearly dinner hour and nothing 
came. One of the ladies picked up a book which was for 
sale on our tract table. "How much is this?" she asked. 
"One dollar," I replied. "Well, I think I will take it, 
I'll go up to my room and get the money just now !" she 
said. I inwardly said "Praise the Lord," took the money 
and quickly slipped out for the articles needful for a com- 
fortable meal. She never knew what that dollar meant to 
me. Many times money has come to me in answer to 
prayer both for missions and for my own use, sometimes 
from persons whom I have never seen, or, perhaps, from 
some one whom I had known many years ago and had 
almost forgotten; so that it has seemed as truly to have 
come from God's own hand as if it had miraculously 
fluttered down from the skies; for they wxre persons 
who could not by any possibility have known my need. 
"Your Heavenly Father knoweth that you have need of 
these things." Every such experience has been a joyful 
surprise, not that I had forgotten the prayer offered, by 
any means, but that the answer always came at such an 
unexpected time and way that I have really felt like leap- 
ing for joy. For although I have never for a moment 
questioned that God had supplied and would supply the 
needs of many other workers well known and very dear 
to my heart, they have always seemed to me to be so much 
nearer to Him and so much more devoted than I that it 
is always fresh cause for amazement and humbling before 
Him when any such token of His loving care comes to 
me. Blessed be His Name forever, He does take note 
of the feeblest hand of faith stretched out to Him in 

213 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

prayer. Surely never did He send forth a more trembling 
child or one seemingly less fitted to carry on a work of 
faith than I. Deeply conscious of this fact, I have at 
times felt that I should not be able to endure the life of 
absolute dependence upon Him which I am now about to 
enter. The property which my father gave me at the time 
of his second marriage will have been all spent by the time 
that this book has fairly started on its journey through 
the world. I have. determined by the grace of God never 
to go in debt, and never to solicit aid either for the work 
or for myself. So far as possible the needs shall be made 
known to God alone. From time to time a report of the 
work will be issued as He may lead, so that all may know 
of its progress and may assist in its enlargement by their 
prayers and free-will offerings as He may prompt. It was 
opened at His call, God grant that its light may never 
grow dim until Jesus comes ! A few months ago I went 
up stairs one afternoon for a quiet hour with Him. I 
had for some time been praying very earnestly that He 
would enlarge me and the work entrusted to me. Just 
as I stepped into the room I was conscious of His pres- 
ence and that He was about to speak to me. As I took 
up my Bible I said, "Lord, where shall I read?" The 
"still small voice" instantly replied : "Jabez !" Much sur- 
prised, I hastened down stairs again to get my Concor- 
dance not remembering just where to look for Jabez and 
with but a dim recollection as to who he was and what 
the Scripture said of him. Turning to 1 Chron: 4:10, 1 
read these (to me) most significant words : "And Jabez 
called on the God of Israel, saying. Oh that Thou would'st 
bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that Thine 
hand might be with me, and that Thou would'st keep me 

214 



"NOT A SPARROW FALLETH'' 

from evil that it may not grieve me ! And God granted 
him that which he requested !" 

Thus wonderfully was I reminded that He had heard 
my cry for many months and that as He had answered 
Jabez so would He answer me ! How I praised Him and 
worshipped low at His feet and marvelled at this fresh 
exhibition of His grace, and how often the beautiful, 
comprehensive prayer of Jabez has been upon my lips! 
And since that day I have been looking for the promised 
enlargement in the work. How, or in what way it will 
come I cannot say, but one thing, praise God, I can say, 
and that is that it has already come to a large extent in 
my own spirit through the bitter trials and close testings 
which have since been sent to me. As usual, I was not 
looking for it at all in that way, but hoped it might be 
through some glorious revelation of Christ, some mighty 
baptism of His Spirit. But no! it has been by the way 
of Calvary. Amen, Lord Jesus, if only Thine own sweet- 
ness has been wrung out of these bitter cups and Thy life 
shall be manifested through the broken vessel unto all ! As 
for the work, although Satan has opposed since that graci- 
ous promise was given as never before since the Home 
opened, the work has gone steadily on and some very 
choice young people have here surrendered all and are 
now preparing for missionary work wherever they may 
be led, but no special enlargement has as yet appeared. It 
would rejoice my heart to see a Union Bible School 
erected, containing a chapel on the first floor, class rooms 
and office, and two floors above devoted to sleeping rooms 
for students, matron and any resident teachers, etc. : 
where the full Gospel might be preached and where 

215 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

worthy young people without means might be fitted for 
missionary work free of charge and sent quickly forth into 
the whitening fields. If this is God's thought for the lit- 
tle vine which He has planted He will bring it to pass. I 
do not say that it is, but that He would enlarge it in some 
direction I verily believe. For the spread of the blessed 
Gospel where it has never been heard, I have given my 
all, and feel it but a small sacrifice in view of the tremen- 
dous issues at stake. For who can ever estimate the work 
accomplished through the thousands of dollars which have 
been sent out to the foreign field through our "Self-denial 
Mission Band," the many helpless widows and orphans 
rescued from slow starvation in India, Africa and 
Armenia, placed in pleasant orphanages with the best 
advantages of Christian training and education and who 
will become, if our Lord should tarry, preachers, teachers, 
evangelists and Bible women among their own people? 
"Whoso shall receive one such little child in My name 
C said Jesus) receiveth Me." (Matt. 18:5.) 

And when I think of the many dear young people 
trained in the classes here who will go forth to preach 
Christ in His fulness both at home and abroad, of the suf- 
fering ones in body and mind who have here found com- 
plete deliverance in Him and gone out to point other 
weary despairing ones to the fountain of healing, of the 
sinners saved, backsliders reclaimed and believers sancti- 
fied, of the eager listeners, old and young, in the Monday 
evening Bible class and Sunday afternoon meeting, of the 
many noted missionaries and evangelists who have come 
under my roof from all parts of the country, and, indeed, 
of the world, bringing wonderful messages of life and 

216 



"NOT A SPARROW FALLETH" 

power, when I consider the all-important work wrought 
in our Juvenile Bands and think of the glorious possibili- 
ties wrapped up in these precious boys and girls, some of 
whom have already expressed a wish to become mission- 
aries of the cross, of the Jewish homes in our city where 
the light of the New Testament has for the first time 
entered, of the Gospel tracts in Hebrew and Yiddish scat- 
tered here and there, of the poor mothers and girls in the 
Jewish Mission taught to sew and read and write and 
instructed in the Word of God, of the little children 
gathered in from the streets and taught the way of salva- 
tion, I do indeed feel that I have tasted something of the 
"hundredfold in this life" which Jesus promised to those 
who forsake all for His name's sake and the Gospel's and 
confidently look forward to the fulfillment of the remain- 
der of the promise — "in the world to come, life everlast- 
ing." And now, dear reader, you who have walked with 
me in these pages through some of the sunshine and 
shadows of my checkered life, may God lay both the writer 
and her work upon your heart sometimes in prayer as 
you behold her stepping forth in the coming months with 
trembling feet in an untried path, depending upon God 
alone for her own support as well as that of the work so 
dear to her heart. She will now know with Paul what it 
is "to be abased and to abound, both to be full and to be 
hungry, to abound and to suffer need." Oh pray that her 
"faith fail not" but that her eyes may be fixed continually 
upon Him who cares for the sparrows and hears the 
ravens when they cry, clasping closely the dear Hand 
which has thus far led her safely through many a Red 
Sea experience and is pledged to support her unto the 
end. For hath He not said, "and even to your old age I 

217 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

am He; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you?" (Is. 
46:4.) Her sincere desire for you is, "The very God of 
peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God that your 
whole spirit, and soul and body be preserved blameless 
unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Thess. 
5:23.) 



218 




XVIII. 
ASLEEP IN JESUS. 

(This chapter was written in June, 1911, by Miss 
Olive Plumstell, a foster daughter of the author.) 

INCE the foregoing pages were written, 
and the first edition of the book issued, the 
author has been called away to her heaven- 
VN\/v ly home. Her labors are o'er. "Blessed 

\WA i ^ are the dead who die in the Lord, for they 
rest from their labors and their works do 
follow them." 

A few months after she had finished her 
autobiography, she felt led to attend a convention at 
Toronto, Canada, held by the Volunteer Movement. Al- 
most immediately after her arrival she was suddenly 
taken ill, and was able to attend only three meetings dur- 
ing the entire ten days. She spent a few days at a Faith 
Home where divine healing was taught and where many 
had been healed, but there seemed to come a cloud over 
the face of the lady in charge as she prayed, and she said 
faith seemed to be denied her, and the feeling came over 
her that Anna Prosser's work was finished. 

wShe expressed a desire to be taken home, and after a 
few days of rest and quiet, was about her usual work, 
leading her Bible classes and other meetings, but in very 
great weakness and exhaustion, which continued all 
through the summer. 

One Sabbath afternoon, late in the fall, after a wonder- 
ful meeting in which great power was felt and everyone 
in attendance was wonderfully blessed, where several 



219 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

were converted, one lady sanctified, and a suffering one 
healed, she went to her room so weak and exhausted that 
I became much alarmed and called in our pastor who 
lived on the next avenue. He had taken part in the dedi- 
cation of our Mission and had helped in the Bible classes, 
and was much used of God in the laying on of hands, 
many sick ones having been healed through his ministry, 
among them his own brother, who w^as healed of cancer. 
But he too felt quite sure from the moment he was called, 
that Miss Prosser would not get well, and that her work 
was finished. 

We have reason long to remember the text she used in 
that last meeting just referred to, "And they came unto 
thee as thy people cometh and they sit before thee as my 
people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do 
them: for with their mouth they show much love, but 
their heart goeth after their covetousness. And lo, thou 
art unto them as a very lovely song of one that hath a 
pleasant voice, and can play well on an instrument for 
they hear thy words, but they do them not. And when 
this cometh to pass, (lo, it will come) then shall they 
know a prophet hath been with them." Ezek. 33:31-33. 

A death-like hush fell on all who heard her voice that 
afternoon; there was great weeping and crying out to 
God ; conviction settled on some whom she had long been 
praying for. It was her last message, though we little 
knew it. From that time until she passed away she be- 
came weaker and weaker. Many came and prayed for 
her, and while she was willing to have them offer up 
prayer, she felt sure God was calling her home and that 
her work was finished. She gave me instructions about 
many matters in such tender and pathetic words that 

220 



ASLEEP IN JESUS 

tears were drawn from the two unsaved nurses. She 
invoked the richest blessings of heaven on my head, 
pouring out her whole soul to God that I might be fully 
sanctified. All the months she lay sick there went out an 
indescribable influence which pervaded the whole neigh- 
borhood. 

Her first words at the very beginning of her illness, 
were: "Praise the Lord," and they were also the last 
words she ever uttered. In the early morning of Decem- 
ber 20, 1902, as I entered her room I found her about to 
enter the realms of endless day; she turned her head as 
I entered the door, and placing her eyes on me said, 
'Traise the Lord." I sat by her bedside until seven 
o'clock, when her soul escaped to bliss. 

The Bible her mother had given her when entering 
boarding school in her sixteenth year, was placed on her 
breast, according to her request. She was followed to 
the grave by more than forty of the students in her Bible 
class. 

After her death the Lord raised up men and women 
of God who could teach the Word, and so the Bible classes 
and the Sunday services and the work in every depart- 
ment went right on. 

Miss Prosser organized what was called a band of Self- 
Denial Workers. There were forty persons in it. Each 
member of the band supported a native preacher, teacher, 
or child in the foreign field, in India, Africa, China and 
Japan, paying from $15 to $45 a year for their support. 
We earned our money by self-denial, depriving ourselves 
of certain articles of food, walking instead of riding, 
using the tenth of our earnings, etc. A number of these 
little bands were established in Buffalo and in other cities. 

221 



FROM DEATH TO LIFE 

The work continued with much blessing until the spring 
of 1909, when, because of ill-health, I was obliged to 
close both the Mission and the Home. 

No words can express either my sorrow at her depart- 
ure or tell the blessing she was to me while she 
lived. She was all, and even more to me than a mother, 
and my loss can never be made up. My grief is as fresh 
now as when Anna Prosser passed away. The only con- 
solation is in the resurrection, when not only my heart 
shall be gladdened in meeting her, but hundreds of others 
who have been helped heavenward through her noble ex- 
ample of Christian sacrifice. 



THE END. 



222 



CHRISTIAN LITERATURE 



Mountain Peaks of Prophecy and Sacred 
History 

By W. H. COS SUM, A.M. 

A book for these days, dealing with prophetic events, 
past, present and future. This is not a dry, heavy ex- 
position of prophecy, but vivid and fascinating, and in- 
tensely interesting to everyone who is concerned in 
prophetic events and their fulfilment. The contents of 
the chapters are as follows: 

I. Prophecy — Value of Prophetic Study — God Vindi- 
cates Himself — ^The Past Pledges the Future. 

II. The Indestructible Jew — The Chosen of God — 
The Miracle of the Ages — His Dispersion and Restora- 
tion. 

HI. The Zionist Movement — Dreyfus, Herzl, Hirsch, 
etc. — Unconscious FulfiUers of Prophecy — Mesopotamia 
— Palestine — Pathetic Destiny, 

IV. Jerusalem — The Religious Center of the World — 
The Great Feasts — Her Wealth — Often Destroyed — 
Worst Yet to Come. 

V. The Land of Israel — Promised to Abraham — Her 
Conquest — The Mediterranean Sea and the Persian 
Gulf — Present Movements in and toward Palestine — 
Her Railroads, etc. — The Glory of the Land. 

VI. The Jew and Pentecost — Israel, the Key to Hu- 
man History and Human Destiny — The Jew Interprets 
Pentecost — The Jew and Evangelization — Overlapping 
of Dispensations. 

VII. Antichrist — Spirit of Federation — Islam and 
Israel — Rationalist Jew and Christian — The Triangular 
Marriage — Young Turk and Mesopotamia — The Great 
Tribulation. 

VIII. Babylon — First and Second Babylon — Babel 
and Pentecost — Babel Disappears as Pentecost Develops 
— Rebuilding and Destruction of Second Babylon — The 
Jew and Wealth — Commercialism. 

IX. The Coming of the King — Covenant of Jehovah 
with His Son, His Anointed — Adonijah and Solomon — 
Antichrist and Christ — "Born King of the Jews" — King 
of Truth and Love — His Rule in Righteousness and Peace. 

The book also contains two maps : one of Asia Minor, 
Palestine, Mesopotamia, etc., showing railroads now 
under construction and those projected; the other is a 
map of the Eastern continent, showing this land of 
destiny in its relation to the rest of the world. 

The hook contains 195 pages, well bound in cloth, 65 
cts.; postage, 5 cts. (3s). 



CHRISTIAN LITERATURE 

The Revelation of Jesus Christ 

By D. WESLEY MYLAND 

A large number of people who love the Word of God, 
and even many students of the Word, find the Book 
of Revelation too difficult to comprehend. The author 
of these twelve lectures has given to the public the re- 
sult of eighteen years' study, and while this book of the 
Bible is not taken up in an exhaustive and tedious man- 
ner, these lectures give the reader a thorough knowledge 
and unfolding of the wonderful vision which appeared 
to the Apostle John on the Isle of Patmos, of things 
which must come to pass speedily, and their strong point 
is their inspirational character. 

Mr. Myland unfolds it (1) as a book of Consumma- 
tions; (2) the manifestations of Christ in glory; (3) a 
book of Sevens; (4) a book of Songs and Sorrows, 
Hallelujahs and Dirges; (5) a book of Antitheses, de- 
picting the Glory of the Bridegroom and the Bride, and 
also the Horror of the Antichrist and the Antichristian ; 
(6) a book of Victory; and (7) a book of Restoration. 

The three lectures on the "Messages to the Churches" 
are filled with many precious and burning lessons, and 
contain rich kernels of living truth as they portray the 
various phases of church life, both in individuals and 
in collective bodies. 

It is intensely interesting to follow the author as he 
traces the five converging lines of vision through the 
different chapters up to the coming of the Lord, and 
this method is the only one that gives the reader a clear 
and comprehensive understanding of the book. 

Cloth, 255 pages, $1.00; by mail, $1.10 (4s yd). 



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